Left Behind: Pretrib Porno

Left Behind: A Novel of the Earth's Last Days, by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins. Tyndale House Publishers, 1995.

Pages 1-3.

The first words of Left Behind are "Rayford Steele," the protagonist's name.

It sounds like a porn star's name -- and in a sense it is. The Left Behind series is dispensational porno, but it's more than that. One of the most disturbing things about this book is the way LaHaye and Jenkins portray men, women and the relationships between them.

Note that Tim LaHaye's wife is something of a professional misogynist. She runs the 500,000-member "Concerned Women for America" -- jokingly referred to by its critics as "Ladies Against Women." For years, while Beverly LaHaye's husband pastored a church in San Diego, Mrs. L. spent most of her time 3,000 miles away, in Washington, D.C., running a large organization committed to, among other things, telling women they should stay at home and sacrifice their careers for their husbands. She is not an ironic woman and doesn't seem to find any of this inconsistent. (Nor, as I found out firsthand, does she appreciate jokes about the Freudian implications of the view from her L'Enfante Plaza office window. Sometimes the Washington Monument is just a cigar.)

Our porn star hero, Rayford Steele, interacts with women just like any porn star does -- minus, of course, the sex. It's all about dominance, exploitation, titillation and the stroking of -- in this case -- egos.

The character Rayford Steele is, like the authors, no longer a young man. Younger authors might not have been compelled to give their protagonists names -- "Steele" and "Buck" -- that seem such a blatant assertion of male virility. Bev is apparently not the only LaHaye who seems oblivious to phallic imagery.

If you're thinking I'm reading too much into all this, that this theme isn't really as present in the text as I'm making it out to be, consider the opening lines:

Rayford Steele's mind was on a woman he had never touched. With his fully loaded 747 on autopilot ...

That's more than just subtext.

The name of the woman about whom Steele is fantasizing is "Hattie Durham." (Eldridge Cleaver could have written volumes trying to unpack all the Southern sexual myths crammed into that name.)

A paragraph later we read that Steele's wife, Irene, was "attractive and vivacious enough, even at 40." The authors do not say "enough" for what, but the choice of adjectives -- the first description we have of Irene -- is tellingly reductive. Then there's that "even at 40." L&J would not approve of an older, steely, fully loaded man betraying his wife for a younger trophy bride -- but they sure seem to appreciate the impulse.

Irene's 40-ish attractiveness cannot compete with Hattie's youthful good looks. The first thing L&J tell us about any female character is whether or not she is attractive. Hattie is, they tell us, "drop dead gorgeous." Like so much in this book, Hattie's beauty eludes the authors' powers of description, forcing them to fall back on cliche. There are enough hackneyed phrases in the first chapter of this book for a whole album of Bon Jovi songs.

Despite L&J telling us that Steele's "libido" had "caused his mind to wander" (aha -- somebody has been reading Freud!), their description of Steele's behavior toward Miss Durham betrays another motive at work:

They had spent time together, chatting for hours over drinks or dinner, sometimes with coworkers, sometimes not. He had not returned so much as one brush of a finger, but his eyes had held her gaze, and he could only assume his smile had made its point.

Steele's "libido" seems firmly in check. He keeps it -- like Hattie -- subservient to his need for emotional dominance. Throughout the book, Rayford keeps Hattie in her place -- waiting for signals from him, but always withholding those signals. The authors seem to regard this as a sign of Steele's virtue and self control, but it reads more like something deeply kinked and cruel. He gets off on this.

On the third page of the book we read:

He was no prude, but Rayford had never been unfaithful to Irene. He'd had plenty of opportunities. He had long felt guilty about a private necking session he enjoyed at a company Christmas party more than 12 years before. Irene had stayed home, uncomfortably past her ninth month carrying their surprise tagalong son, Ray Jr.

By this point, Rayford Steele's warped sexuality -- the book's primary theme thus far -- has become so blatant that one begins to hope the authors are attempting something more subtle and artful. Perhaps Steele is an antihero -- an unreliable narrator like something out of Nabakov? (The voice is not first person, but our omniscient narrator is, so far, focused on Steele's P.O.V.)

But little in the rest of the book supports such a view. The only unreliable narrators here are the authors themselves, apparently agreeing with Steele that his "private necking session" (who talks like this?) with a nameless, undescribed, inconsequential female does not constitute "unfaithfulness" to his pregnant wife.

Comments

[Bridgier]

I've tried to make this point to some of my more eschatologically minded friends - it's like some sort of weird snuff film/revenge fantasy for Christians.

[jesse]

I'm working my way through the whole series to write an essay about them.

Around about the middle of book three, you just want to scrape your eyeballs.

[Louise]

So let me guess. The "vivacious enough" Irene gets hoisted to the Great Above, leaving Steele to guide his fully-loaded 747 to a different landing strip.

[Mr. Bill]

I run an indy bookstore, and have put the "left Behind' book in Sci-Fi/Fantasy where I believe belongs. This seems to offend some folks. (heh heh)
Which is , of course, silly; and I only stock a coupla of the series. It's badly written and the theology sucks, too. LaHaye's God is a sadistic creep.

[BlackAdder]

Baldrick ... I have a cunning plan ...

If these books become even more popular, these guys won't stop writing them, right?
They'll never totally get to the end of Revelations ... just keep dragging it out ...
And, that means, since Chimpy the Boy Pilot is a fan of these books, he'll prevent letting everything go to hell (so to speak) because he wants to live long enough to see how the series ends. And yes, he is dumb enough to believe that A) he can bring in the End Times B) the fictional apocalypse is still interesting enough to delay the real one.

So, go to it! Make the books more popular. Just don't buy them.

[natasha]

I flipped through one of these in the store the other day, like the fourth or fifth. The AntiChrist character is named, and I am not making this up, Nicolae Carpathia. And of course, he rises to power by taking over the UN, which is the real reason for all the right wing fanaticism on the subject. They genuinely think that the Enemy is going to use it to bring about a reign of hell on earth. Which you would think they'd be looking forward to, what with being so saved and all.

The perversely ironic thing is that their Chosen Nation unilateralist attitudes strengthen the idea of a need for a more powerful UN, made evident with every passing slip up of the Bushies. You can be sure that long after these guys have left town for good, there won't be a country in the world willing to use any available means to see that the US (and any upcoming superpower wannabes) gets such free rein ever again.

[upyernoz]

one of my friends has a sister who just became born again. a few years ago his sister gave him a boxed set of the first few books of the "left behind" series. my friend could not imagine actually reading the books. instead when he moved to a different apartment a few months later, he left the books sitting in the middle of his otherwise empty apartment. from the door one entered the first thing they would see was a stack of books labelled "left behind"

that's the only good use for those books i have ever heard of

[sj]

As a fan of fantasy and science fiction I bought "Left Behind" a few years ago. I had never heard of the books (didn't even know it was a series) and thought it was an interesting premise. It didn't hold my interest at all and is one of a only a handful of books that I've started and never finished. It's a bad book. It's flat and totally uninteresting. I've finished plenty of books with a religious or moralistic basis whose premise or position is different than mine. I've also read other books that had weak writing. I wonder how anyone -- even the converted -- can actually read these things. Do they really read them?

[natasha]

It's time to set an appointment with your favorite wall, I think Prof. DeLong's is occupied. This quote is from the first Amazon review of the third book:

"...When I heard about this series I had really hoped for insight into Revelation and the end times. Instead we're given endless detail about the Trib Force members and only the most elementary presentation of prophetic events.

Like many readers, I have found The Christ Clone Trilogy far more satisfying to my desire to understand the Tribulation. Instead of Left Behind's rigid repetition of scriptural description with no real-world explanation of what it means or how it could occur, The Christ Clone Trilogy gives plausible scenarios based in real science and politics, as well as staying true to scripture. ..."

Then there's this other review, because apparently this Christ Clone trilogy is something these people think that all of us non-believers will dig, and frankly I'm too creeeped out to remain alone in it:

"...The strangest thing is that BeauSeigneur does such a good job of presenting the antichrist that you actually find yourself pulling for him. It's weird, but exactly as Matthew 24:24 says it will be. In Left Behind you know that Nicolae is the Antichrist right from the beginning (though the characters seem a little thick-headed in not being able to see what's so obvious to the reader) and there's no way in the world I would ever follow ol' Nick. If I weren't a Christian, though, I'm sure I would follow BeauSeigneur's Antichrist. He's that good, I mean bad . . . oh you know what I mean.

One other big difference is that Left Behind is obviously written for a Christian or near-Christian audience; the preaching is pretty thick and I think turns off many nonChristian readers. (I've tried to get nonChristians to read Left Behind and none have read past the first book.) The Christ Clone Trilogy is written for a secular audience (it even has an occasional curse word) but when the truth is revealed (book 3 of the series) the Christian world view and the presentation of the Gospel is unmistakable."

So here's my question: if putting a religious subtext into a novel is such a great way to sneakily win believers then why hasn't... Orson Scott Card been responsible for converting hordes of Mormons... a cult of Muad'Dib swept the sci-fi ranks... or Scientology ever gotten past the point of being an inane joke that points up how seriously out of touch a person can get when they're filthy rich and adored by millions. (BTW, If anyone wants to include me in a sociology experiment studying the effect of being filthy rich and adored by millions, my email address is right over here.) And Card and Herbert were actually decent writers, so if anyone should be raking in the followers, it should be them.

I can't count the number of religious/spiritual messages have been delivered to me in the pages of fiction books, and while they sometimes advance interesting points of view, none of this ever spawned the urge for serious believing. Also, if I ever publicly admit to reading badly written opportunistic fiction in search of a deeper understanding of The Word, you have permission in advance to regard me as having totally gone off my tree.

[Shem]

I've actually thought about giving these a read sometime. After all, I slogged through all ten volumes of L. Ron Hubbard's "Mission Earth" series back in high school, so how bad could it be in comparison? Then I take down one of the books in the library, thumb through a couple of pages, and just wince.

Maybe I'll just rent the movie. It has Kirk Cameron and everything. How bad can something be if Mike Seaver is involved?

[Phoenix Woman]

Oh, gag a maggot. These things sound like The Bridges of Madison County, except with crucifixes and thinly-veiled bigotry.

The big Dirty Little Secret of American Drugstore Novels (which the LBs definitely are, just dolled up in hardcover and VERY expensively promoted, even down to bulk-buying so as to create artificial best-sellers in finest Regnery-style fashion) is that they are All About Lifestyle Dominance.

The difference is that, unlike Story of O, which is at least honest about following the trope to its logical conclusion, books like Madison County, the LBs and the other drugstore romances try to dress up their domination themes in pretty little disguises. Subtract the leather harnesses and overt sex (not to mention the showing of the characters' internal landscapes), throw in silk and velvet dresses and fancy swords, and presto! Something that oh-so-moral and repressed Penthouse-haters will devour in droves on their lunch hours, or while watching Oprah at home talk about how (explicit, male-oriented) pornography is damaging to women.

[Patsy Clone]

This series is the inspiration for Bush's "No Child Left Behind" program.

[Silvan]

most of us have been barred from exclusive clubs all of our lives.. why should heaven be any different?

[Jorge]

These things sound like The Bridges of Madison County, except with crucifixes and thinly-veiled bigotry.

The opperative word is thinly-veiled (OK, opperative compound word). The bigotry and outright anti-semitism lurking in these books is disgusting. It's a pity this crap is so popular while great books get overlooked. If you want a funny, interesting and well written book that deals with spiritual matters and the end of the world, read Leonora Carirngton's The hearing Trumpet.

[Gen. JC Christian, Patriot]

I've thought about changing my name to "Rayford Steele." There's just something about that name that stirs the loins.

[M.]

Oh, you poor bastard. Somebody has to do it, though. There but for the grace of God go I...

[Corvus]

Are there any plans for a MSTing of the Left Behind movie? I understand there are a number of fan produced episodes floating around.

[anon]

For genuine eschatological Sci Fi, read "A Canticle for Liebowitz" and the sequel...

[Dave]

I second the recommendation for "A Canticle for Leibowitz". Very good blending of sci-fi and religion.

[Dave L]

There's a sequel to "Canticle for Liebowitz"?

[englishprofessor]

By the way, The Christ Clone Trilogy, mentioned by one of the writers above, is dreadfully -- I mean DREADFULLY -- written. The author is a former tech writer who can write about the details of weaponry and almost nothing else. The story is interesting, but if you can actually read through the trilogy, you're much stronger than I am. The Left Behind series is very cliche, but at least the writers can put sentences together competently.

[j]

sheesh, i listened to the first left behind book on audio tape while i was painting the upstairs of my house. crap, what a godawful book. setting aside the steely loins for one moment, what struck me about the book's, ahem, plausibility factor was the opening scenario involving russia and israel. keep in mind that this is before we even get to the far-fetched anti-christ stuff and around the same time as we begin to find out about the even farther-fetched rapturing up stuff.

1. an israeli scientist concocts a miracle fertilizer that turns the deserts of israel into lush paradisical gardens laden with fruit, making itself richer than richie rich. (cuz we all know that those durn jews just looooooove money, no?)
2. in the spirit of cooperation and brotherly love, israel neither shares nor sells this fertilizer secret. (cue "greedy, world-dominating jewish conspiracy theme music")
3. russia, chock full o' spies and such, wants this formula badly, under the odd impression that what this fertilizer did for the sunny warm desert regions of israel it could do for the bleak, icy frozen wastes of siberia. (because, let's face it, it's not climate or nature that makes the plants grow, its jewish supermen.)
4. unable to somehow capture the scientist, steal the formula, or apparently even obtain a soil sample from a farm in israel for analysis of the chemical compounds of this fertilizer, russia does the next best thing that they can do to get farm production on the upswing in siberia: they launch a nuclear war on israel.
5. the sheer tactical brilliance of russia's attempts to boost crop production through nuclear annihilation of the united states' pet middle east ally is thwarted, not by the political, diplomatic, and military might of the united states against russia, but is thwarted by God Himself, destroying all those nuclear tipped missiles easily, allowing them to land far afield of their targets (with no ill effects such as fallout or radiation poisoning or electromagnetic pulses blacking out local electrical systems!) and to explode harmlessly in the air.
6. this development is barely reported by the mainstream "liberal" media, and is even doubted by someone who was there (since that daggone liberal media wouldn't ever, ever, ever report something that went against their commie buddies back in the u.s.s.r.).

and that you have to swallow before we really get to the heart of the godly-folks-being-raptured-up-to-heaven schtick.

my plan had been to rent from the library and listen to the whole series, but it really was friggin hard to get past that.

we haven't even gotten to the point in the story where thousands, nay millions, of jews convert en masse to christianity, slapping themselves on the collective forhead and saying, "oy, have we ever been wrong about that carpenter's kid. what were we, collectively, thinking as a race when we axed him?" then the mass slaughter of all those jewy jews who don't convert.

yeah, i can see why these books are so wildly popular with a certain slice of the american electorate. wonder if pat buchanan gets his autographed.

[Jeff Keezel]

You forgot to mention that Russia teams up with that mighty military superpower - Ethiopia - to attack Israel. (Not to mention that Israel is 50 miles wide by 150 miles long and even if they planted every square inch of the country it would never be a "regional agricutural giant.")

The literary gymnastics these knuckleheads go through to try to match modern-day plot devices to the goofy texts of Biblical apocalyptic stories is just hilarious...thekeez

[Harry Tuttle]

"I run an indy bookstore, and have put the "left Behind' book in Sci-Fi/Fantasy where I believe belongs. This seems to offend some folks."

Scifi/fantasy fans or religous readers? Or both?

[Mr. Bill]

The "Christian Fiction" Crowd dislikes the placement: it calls into question the 'truth' (snort, chuckle) of the books....
The Sci-Fir crowd seem cool with it; i've gotten more complaints about having Anne Rice in the section.

[Angie in WA State]

Wasn't the sequel to 'A Canticle for Leibowitz' called "Man in the High Castle' or something close to that?

[raj]

"Note that Tim LaHaye's wife is something of a professional misogynist. She runs the 500,000-member "Concerned Women for America" -- jokingly referred to by its critics as "Ladies Against Women.""

More than a few of us call CWA "Confused Women in America" since so many of their employees are men.

[Kevin Carson]

Dave L, Angie in WA State:

The sequel is "St. Liebowitz and the Wild Horse Woman." I strongly recommend it. Miller obviously did a great deal of antropological research to flesh out the culture of the Plains Nomads in this installment.

natasha,

There are quite a few on the Right who hate the UN for its role in promoting the state capitalist interests of American big business. Check out paleolibertarian/paleoconservative venues like Lew Rockwell.com, or Joseph Stromberg's excellent article, "The Role of State Monopoly Capitalism in the American Empire," Journal of Libertarian Studies Volume 15, no. 3 (Summer 2001), pp. 57-93 http://www.mises.org/journals/jls/15_3/15_3_3.pdf

Antidote for Left Behind is James Morrow's satirical Only Begotten Daughter, and really all of his books.

[Shem]

"The Man in the High Castle" is a Philip K. Dick novel, set in an alternate reality where the Axis won World War II and America is split between the Germans and the Japanese. Good book, but it has nothing to do with religion.

Another book that blends religious concepts and fantasy well is Walter Wangerin, Jr.'s "The Book of the Dun Cow"; its sequel, "The Book of Sorrows," is rather bleak and depressing, though -- deliberately so, not bleak and depressing in the sense of the Left Behind books.

[NC]

For a funny take on the end of the world, try Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's Good Omens. One of the funniest books I've ever read.

[Jeremy Osner]

If you share with me the attribute of being interested in apocalyptic fiction and coming at it from a pagan or unbelieving perspective (or if you just have a weird sense of humor) you could do much worse than to read Patrick Farley's "Apocamon". Go to www.e-sheep.com and click on the Apocamon link. Farley has recently come over to micropayments, so Part 3 will cost you a quarter to read; I believe parts 1 and 2 are still free.

[Paul]

No, angie, "Man in the High Castle" was a completely different book than Canticle...and written by a different author to boot.

The sequel to Canticle came out only comparatively recently and is called "Saint Leibowitz and the Wild Horse Woman". I've only read the original, so I can't comment on how well the sequel holds up to its predecessor.

[emjaybee]

Left Behind owes a great deal to this book http://www.powells.com/cgi-bin/biblio?inkey=63-0912582057-0
by "Salem Kirban", written in 1970, and also to The Seven Last Years by Carol Balizet published in 1978 and available free online (if you have the stomach) here: http://tanaya.net/Books/tsly10/

My dad was hard-core into the End Times stuff, so I read these and all the Hal Lindsay stuff (Lindsay was really into Russia v. Israel too). So I feel no special need to read the same old crap rehashed by LaHaye.

At the time, I was still a fundamentalist, and I found the whole idea of the world ending soon (with me and the rest of the saved safely out of the way) exciting. The same way that any cult member finds the imminent fulfillment of their leader's prophecies exciting. At least I have the excuse that I was just a kid. Grownups who believe this stuff (or who write it) don't realize they're basically creating Bible fanfic.

These books are basic conservative blah blah bemoaning the liberalization of culture, how women are degraded by getting all these gosh darn rights, and how the fundamentalists are the only ones who see things clearly. I put them on the same plane as Jack Chick, frankly.

[Christina Jackson]

I am a 14 year old christian girl and i dont understand why all you athiests are so upset about this book I mean with all the anti god books out there why not have a christian book too doesnt that make sense? And as for the treatment of women in this book just because you men are all sissy men and afraid of women and need women to approach you doesn't mean that that is how God wants it to be but you athiest types wouldnt understand that because you evolved from apes or think you did and how can someone who thinks they evolved from apes understand what jesus wants for us. I feel sorry for your daughters because I bet you raise them like the whore of babylon and do not ever let them feel the saving grace of Jesus Christs love for well behaved women because Satan has a hold of you and your children I suggest you buy them Revolve magazine before your daughters spirits are condemmed to eternal damnation in a lake of fire. You should also let them read these left behind books, they really are good if you dont approach them already filled in your heart with hate for Gods word like you atheists are and just because you want to go to hell does not mean you should sentence your daughters to the same fate by teaching them wrongly that they are equal to men, God doesn't like that and he drowneded a whole 2 cities in part because the women were not ladylike and did not want to have husbands to serve and bear children too you should be happy with what God wants for you I am.

[MD]

If there's anything I learned in middle school, it's that the best way to sway people to your view is to tell them that their children are whores who will burn in hell.

[William Swann]

Hi Christina. I don't think the folks you are addressing on this thread are all "athiests". At least they haven't said so.

I would also note that several specifically praised other Christian-based fiction, just not this specific series.

Maybe you'd like to address the substance of their comments about the books?

[Weaver Rose]

Oh, Christina!

You are so young, too young to be submitting to a captivity whose weight and length you cannot even begin to imagine at this time in your life. You have my deepest sympathy. (unless you're a troll)

[Christina Jackson]

At my blog I addressed slactivists comments about the left behind series.

[Dazir]

Y'know Christina, attacking people who disagree with you is very un-Christian. I don't recall anywhere in the gospels where Jesus espoused anything but compassion and understanding for man (an exception perhaps being the moneychangers in the temple). In addition, damnation is solely within the purview of God and it is far too presumptuous of any human being to imply that another, or their family, is damned.

[Mike]

Okay first of all, have you seen Christina's blog? Ummm...wow. Here's a little tid bit: "Hi my name is Christina and I am a 14 year old home school student and I am going to blog for our lord and savior Jesus Christ since he is in heaven and there is no internet in heaven since internet is mostly filthy porn and athiest places that dont get into heaven." You know, I bet there's plenty of filthy porn in heaven, there sure is in the bible...but I digress.

Christina, first off, you automatically label everyone in here an atheist. What basis do you have for this assertion? Is it not possible for someone who does believe in God (specifically the Christian God) to think that the Left Behind series is a pointless piece of lunatic drivel that is as poorly written as it is boring? Hell even you said "I didn't even really like the left behind books. I thought they were a little out of touch with the bible..." Why endorse a book that you think is out of touch with the book most Christians consider to be the word of god, nay God himself? You should be more furious than anyone.

As far as the pornographic parts of the book, let's face it, you're 14 and I'd bet the farm that you're a virgin. I'd go so far as to bet that you take every precaution to repress any "evil" sexual urges that may pop into your teenage mind (after all lust or masturbation would get you a one way ticket to everlasting torture right?). The point is, you wouldn't know a subtle sexual refrence if it came up and...well I'd better stop there. Do yourself a favor and trust us atheist heathen types when it comes to recognizing the sexual innuendo in a book would ya? After all, it's what we do best.

Now about the atheist issue. First off, how can an atheist want to go to hell? An atheist doesn't believe in hell...that's a part of being an atheist. Secondly, you accuse an atheist of reading those books that you don't even like with the intention of not liking them? If an overly christian girl like you doesn't even like them, why should an atheist like them? Thirdly, just wondering, are you insinuating that a girl who does not subjugate herself to a man's wishes is automatically a whore? Are you telling us that men who don't subjugate women are afraid of women? What do those men have to be afraid of exactly? Are women inherently evil, dirty, undersexed, stupid creatures that must be tightly reined in by their benevolent, wise, pious, owner husbands? Do you really, honestly think that you would be like that without the strict guiding male hand in your life? If so, I pity you and I abhore the obvious mental abuse you have obviously been subjected to.

Finally, learn to use a period. Run-on sentences make you sound like a teenaged girl talking on the phone. Oh wait...

[Mike]

One more juicy morsel from Christina's blog (concerning the recent study of the genetics of homosexuality and gender identification): "Its to (sic) bad people get abused by their athiest (sic) parents (or even worse, their Romanistic priests), but unfortunatly, the answer is for them to renounce their parents athiesm or their false romanistic religion and convert and not to act like women and lay with other men."

I'm really not sure what that means exactly.

[boloboffin]

Christina also considers Bush to be a fake Christian and abhors the death penalty. She's also taking up for the Harry Potter books. It's a wild ride over there...

[Christina]

You can't understand my thoughts because your atheist brain is so used to hearing lies the truth hurts.

[Christina]

Mike and Boloboffin

Did you know the word gullible isn't listed at dictionary.com?

[Athiestic Hell Bound Heathen]

Unfortunately Christina, although you would like to believe that we can't understand your thoughts because we spend all our time being scared of women and God and thinking about sex and sodomy, the real reason is due to your abominable grasp of standard english grammar. While I understand that being homeschooled allows your parents to further indoctrinate you and cement in your mind a very un-Christian bigotry and intolerance, that is no reason to skip over something that allows you to better communicate your views with a literate audience (unless you end up in what I assume to be your ideal marriage with a husband who forbids you to work or speak and allows you little else than to be subservient, meek, and quiet). And as Dazir said above, attacking people, and acting in any manner other than that of compassion is very un-christian. I on the other hand, do not profess to believe in God or any other religious(fictitious) being, so I am under no such compulsion (although I do try).

Cheers
--J

[alphabitch]

I have somehow found my way through books 1-10 of the LB series. I haven't read the latest yet because no one I know has purchased a copy and it's been checked out of the library since it came out. And I'm not giving those people my money. Also I'm kind of embarrassed to read it in the bookstore where people can see me. Call me a snob. While you're at it you can also call me totally wacko on account of I fully intend to read all 12 of books in the series (n.b. the authors have stated their intention to end with book 12, but who knows what they'll do next). Why? you may ask. I'm not sure I can answer this. They are hideous books. I'm not a christian nor any kind of religious scholar and I can't speak to their theological accuracy (though I did read Revelations the other day, just as sort of a fact-checking thing, and I didn't get it -- Revelations, I mean -- so I started back at Genesis to see if that helps. So far it hasn't, but I'll read the whole thing just to make sure.). I was hoping, by reading the series, to gain some kind of insight into the mindset of folks who were raised into or who have bought into this apocalyptic tradition which is so a la mode these days. The feeling these books leave me with cannot be described as insight. If I had read these books 25 years ago, I would have just giggled and gone back to Ayn Rand, but now they leave me with this creepy feeling I can't quite shake (so does Ayn Rand, now that I think of it). I understand that these are mass-market books, and intended as prosyletising tools. One expects a certain heavy-handedness. I'm perfectly happy to suspend my disbelief and critical thinking temporarily in the name of a good read, but I can't understand how anyone could be convinced of anything by this prose. Each character encountered by the main characters (and each of the main characters themselves) exhibits a set of traits or espouses a set of pat arguments against christianity or for some deliberately silly straw-man 'ecumenicism' or liberal theology, and the main characters do their witnessing and testifying and eventually many are saved when they realize that the world really probably is ending and this might be their last chance. The series does have a fairly clear 'how to effectively evangelize to the sort of person you as a good christian might not have encountered before' agenda. But the sexual undertones, as noted above, are hilarious and astoundingly bizarre. And the man/woman role thing is completely alien. But what disturbs me most about the series is the focus on the possession/acquisition/control of the biggest-best-coolest-most expensive gear (yes--they steal shit from the bad guys all the time, and occasionally kill them but by golly they don't sleep with 'em). Yeah sure the bad guys have cool stuff, but the good guys really *deserve* cool stuff. Or something. And then there's a whole race/class subtext that's vile and scary. Oh, and I can't remember which book it is that reveals the shocking truth that the oh-so-virile, smart, and handsome thirty-something Buck Cameron (world-traveled prize-winning journalist) is a virgin when he marries the barely legal daughter of Rayford Steele (herself, of course, chaste despite being a rebellious co-ed). Sorry, did I wreck it for youall?

[Jeff Scott]

My better half and I smell a troll. After looking at "Christina's" blog she thinks "Christina" has a far better command of the english language than "she" lets on and that "her" errors are too obvious.

At which point I checked "Christina's" blog myself and noticed that "her" posts don't go back very far. Monday afternoon is "her" earliest post....

I wouldn't waste my time with this one folks.

[Anarch]

Not to spoil your fun, Christina, but...

http://www.calpundit.com/archives/002463.html

You can find the appropriate links there, folks.

And Slacktivist? You're so much a better man than I to try and slog through the LB series like that. I gave up after 5 pages, and I wasn't even trying to review it...

[Patann]

RE Christina's post ... I thought home-schoolers had better grammar than that. Anybody else think maybe the up-thread (here) Christina was maybe a put-on?

Whatever, she should read Karen Armstrong's "The Gospel According to Woman". Easy enough for a 14-y-o to understand. Especially the chapter on 'witches'. It's about christianity and the perception of women in the west. I doubt if Christina has gone much beyond her own state (physical or state-of-being) yet. There's absolutely no excuse for any 14-y-o to be so uninformed in this day and age.