"Almost like a religion"

"Moral values," we are told, were the key to the Republican victories on election day. The GOP mobilized "values voters" -- especially in the red states, especially in the Bible Belt.

And no Bible-Belt state is redder than Alabama.

But the people of Alabama didn't just cast their votes for president on Nov. 2, they also voted on a state referendum to amend their state constitution. The Washington Post's Manuel Roig-Franzia tells the whole story:

On that long-ago day of Alabama's great shame, Gov. George C. Wallace (D) stood in a schoolhouse door and declared that his state's constitution forbade black students to enroll at the University of Alabama.

He was correct.

If Wallace could be brought back to life today to reprise his 1963 moment of infamy outside Foster Auditorium, he would still be correct. Alabama voters made sure of that Nov. 2, refusing to approve a constitutional amendment to erase segregation-era wording requiring separate schools for "white and colored children" and to eliminate references to the poll taxes once imposed to disenfranchise blacks.

It was as close a case as you will find of a vote being a simple choice between good and evil. By a narrow margin -- "1,850 votes out of 1.38 million" -- the people of Alabama chose evil.

Alabama's segregationist state constitution is a relic. It's racist provisions have long since been dismissed and ruled illegal and unenforceable by the federal courts (or, in GOP-speak, by "activist judges"). But as the vote this month shows, this segregationist language is far from irrelevant:

"There are people here who are still fighting the Civil War," said Tommy Woods, 63, a deacon at Bethel [Baptist Church] and a retired school administrator. "They're holding on to things that are long since past. It's almost like a religion."

"Almost like a religion" is exactly right. And the specific religion which it is almost like is Christianity. This almost-religion, this pseudo-Christianity, has become so popular and so successful that it is outselling the authentic original.

Many pundits are convinced that John Kerry lost the election because he was unable to talk comfortably about his faith and thereby to appeal to values voters. But talking about his faith -- he's a churchgoing Catholic -- wouldn't matter to the devotees of this almost-faith. Their almost-religion is not an ecumenical creed.

Leading the defense of Alabama's segregationist statutes were the bishops and archbishops of the almost-church, including the Christian Coalition of Alabama and civil-religion celebrity Roy Moore. They claimed their vigorous defense of segregationist language wasn't really a defense of segregation per se. They claim that they were merely opposing the possibility of future tax increases to fund Alabama's public schools.

You know, the public schools where all the black kids go. See, they're not old-fashioned racists. They're next-generation racists who don't think white people should have to pay taxes to educate black children.

President Bush got a bigger share of the vote in Alabama than did the "no" vote on the amendment, which shows that not all of Bush's supporters there are nostalgic for the days of Jim Crow. Not all, just most.

Before I'm willing to listen to another pundit lecturing on the superior "moral values" of the red states, I want to hear one of them explain how this evil Alabama vote demonstrates such superiority.

And before I hear any more lectures about how we liberals need to show more respect for the religious views of red-staters, I want someone to explain why it's acceptable for Roy Moore and the "Christian" Coalition of Alabama to mock my religion with their blasphemous parody of it.

Comments

[Patrick J. Mullins]

I know all about the horrors of Alabama, having spent 17 years there. It began with my Immaculate Conception. Like Mary, my mother's virginity was relative, and she had 4 other bastards by mere fornication with Joseph; I can't remember how many Mary had, but Jesus wasn't very nice to them or HER. So Catholics and all other Christians suck too, because they believe in the Holy Virgin, not noting that there have been many careers in virginity that far surpass Mary's in professionalism.

Furthermore, Jesus's family values are non-existent, yet more reason why we should freak out that he is considered so important by the 'family values' haletosis. In any case, I think I am more fortunate than either Jesus or family values, because I don't have any truck with either one of them.

Over Thanksgiving, the 4 bastards tried to trick me into agreeing to come to Alabama for the first time in 9 years next summer, because they knew I was weakened by the election results and might fall for maudlin sentimentality (there was a trace of it that wasn't false, but it did not require literal action.) However, I figured out how to make some money on it instead, since I knew they'd put me in jail if I ever set foot down there again.

The 4 bastards were all born within 5 years of each other and then I was born 12 years after the 4th one--they all hated it, but I love that I was a busted-rubber baby.

They don't have any property taxes there either, and are almost all cheap as shit.

They are so pathetic that they use the term 'L.A.' for 'Lower Alabama' (I'm from one of the hickest parts of an already hick state), so I decided that I would go to LA (Los Angeles) next week and spend some of this new money, instead of going to little 'l.a.' and going to jail! Of course, I have not done anything illegal, but as you know, that is not required for jailure in Alabama.

I used to get indignant when New Yorkers in particular used to put down Alabama, but now I don't, because I think it's gross too.

The only part of the South worthy of me is New Orleans, which voted 77% Kerry--an island in another Red State.

Also, that's where Scarlett O'Hara and Rhett Butler had their honeymoon, so I am going to go there in March and dine at Antoine's while thinking of 'Tara's Theme.' That's the only Southern religion I've got left--but first I will go to the back lot of Culver Studios, where the movie Tara was located. One of my sisters still thinks Tara is a real old plantation in Georgia (there is one that Mitchell used to base Rhett's place on, but not the movie one.)

Anyway, for any of you people who don't know that there are real ante-bellum plantations still existing in the South, the Union Army took New Orleans fast enough that the whole south of Louisiana is full of mansions--and they are no worse than what rich robber barons in the North did either--so don't go trying to put down 'Gone With the Wind' to me! I've paid my dues as the descendant of bigots and was even zombified a la Haitien voudoun in 1989--and have only just recovered.

Noam Chomsky is the best religion to have. I don't believe Kerry is very religious either, barely more than me. That was just fine. Religion has no effect on the totalitarian systems; they just use it like other propaganda.

[expatteacher]

I just wrote a blog on the same subject. While similar to this, check out why the two "Christian" are confused/confusin: http://expatteacher.blogspot.com/2004/11/cultural-conservatism-versus-christian.html

[Michael Bowen]

See, they're not old-fashioned racists. They're next-generation racists who don't think white people should have to pay taxes to educate black children.

You are absolutely spot-on with this description of Roy Moore and John Giles (head of the Alabama Christian Coalition.)

[Michael Bowen]

Patrick, I think 'provocative' might be the kindest word I can use for the following statement:

So Catholics and all other Christians suck too, because they believe in the Holy Virgin, not noting that there have been many careers in virginity that far surpass Mary's in professionalism.

Are you actually trying to say something significant here or are you just trying to be offensive?

[Rowandoll]

If anyone can translate Patrick's words into something that makes a shred of sense; especially in relation to Fred's post, I'd appreciate it.

[Andrew]

As a liberal who's definitely been feeling a lecture on "how we liberals need to show more respect for the religious views of red-staters" starting to percolate within him, as he read various "shocked, SHOCKED I am!" columns and blogs after the election, I particularly appreciate this post. Thanks for shedding light as well as heat -

[Patrick J. Mullins]

oh, NO NO NO! I didn't mean to be offensive, although I should have known I was.

Some of my best friends are Christians--and all but one of them were.

However, the significance is obvious, and I'm not going to explain a goddam thing. You'd hate the significance of the Virgin Mary's other children even more than you hate my post! Anyway, they had to come from someone--but still not be Immaculate because there was supposed to be only one of those.

I'll try to pick my clubs when I being too loose and a satyr better next time I want to tell the truth.

Hell, you ought to be glad I'm such a sport when my home state becomes fair game to self-righteous Yankees!

[rowandoll]

okay...So, this is somehow about Mary's unproven later children and that christianity sucks because of a refusal to acknowledge it, somehow in relation to patrick's own bastardy? And this hatred of patrick's legitimacy is the reason he'd go to prison if he entered alabama?

Where does Louisiana fit in?

[carla]

I think I'm going to become the End Italics Avenger. or something.

[carla]

Incidentally, I would've appreciated an explanation, too, but because I was confused, not offended. I have no clue either what Patrick meant or why it was offensive.

[bellatrys]

That's an impressive superpower, carla! Very useful in these hypertextual days. I bet you get a shiny cape with it too, and cool boots. [/garb envy]

I'm afraid that Mr. Mullins is demonstrating why we need BASDAP, or maybe it should be BAUSAP - Bloggers Against Using And Posting.

Remember folks, just because it sounds good to you after the fourth martini/joint/glass of wine, doesn't mean that everyone else reading will be on your same plane of comprehension!

[carla]

haven't you seen "the incredibles"? No capes! but i'll use the end italics sign on my chest, i think. and definitely boots (i'm always looking for an excuse for another pair of cowboy boots).

[Jake]

No no, I think he might have been right about the mary's rampant sprog production after the first one born that 'barn' in Bethlehem.

Saw this very interesting documentary yonks ago, was this historical examination of the whole jesus section of the bible, mixed acheological evidence with the biblical accounts of the life and times of Jesus.

I Think they found some records of a family, headed by a hastily married Joseph and Mary, who's first child (of about 5 sons and 4 daughters, or some other equally high number by today's standards) was named Jesus and was born around about the right time (they did travel to bethlehem to get censused or whatever, so that was relitivly easy, it is mildly impossible to pin down the EXACT Mary&Joseph&Jesus though)

I was mildly put out by the idea that Mary didn't ride into bethlehem on a little donkey (all shaggy and brown, the donkey, not mary that is) though. apparently they would have been unable to afford a donkey, and it's also one of those bits that sounds SO GOOD when you know that jesus is The Messiah and that The Messiah will ride about on a donkey at some point, pointient and all that. Also the whole 'we only have a stable spare' wasn't really That mean as houses in contemporary Bethlehem were just one room with two tiers, the lower of which had a name that transliterates from greek as 'stable' because the animals were sometimes kept on that level away from the upper eating area. I had a point to being with, I know i did...

But on a liter note, here is your outrage of the day: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/this_world/4038375.stm

Is the onion article about Left wing bloggers running out of outrage prophetic yet?

[Dan]

"You'd hate the significance of the Virgin Mary's other children even more than you hate my post! Anyway, they had to come from someone--but still not be Immaculate because there was supposed to be only one of those"

As far as I know, no Christian actually believes that Jesus' brothers and sisters were immaculately conceived, or find it a problem that he had siblings.

There are two general views on the subject. 1) the "brothers and sisters" were actually step-siblings from a previous marriage of Joseph, or cousins from one of Joseph's siblings (Catholic and Eastern Orthodox view). This is based on the vagueness of family terms in that society. "Brother" could refer to a cousin, close friend, step-brother, half-brother, etc etc. I personally don't find this view particularly convincing, considering it first arose in about the 4-5th century and was designed to prove that Mary remained a virgin her whole life, an idea which has no evidence to support it.

2) They were really his brothers and sisters. Well, half-siblings if you accept that God was Jesus' actual father. (Protestant view) I find this more credible, since it doesn't require all the linguistic contortions.

But how exactly does that argue against an immaculate conception? Does it somehow render one's uterus permanently infertile afterwards? And does it prevent the mother from living a normal life afterwards (having sex and lots of kids was considered normal).
And where does the idea that Jesus treated his family badly come from?

PS, Carla you're doing a great job. Don't stop now!

[Temperance]

I lived in Alabama for a year when I was in the 5th grade -- this was 1957-58 -- and I will never forget how my teacher reacted when one of the kids in the class mentioned that she had attended a Catholic church over the weekend -- her parents had taken her to "have the experience." The teacher literally jumped backwards with a loud gasp of horror. She then collected herself and said nothing. I might add that this was in aid of marking all our report cards with "Sunday School Attendance", which was a required category, and occurred just after we recited the Lord's Prayer, as we did every day in home room -- the Pledge of Allegiance only happened in assemblies. Thank God (no irony) we moved back to California after that year. My hero ever since has been General Sherman.

[animus]

Note that the term "immaculate conception" refers to the birth of Mary, not of Jesus. It's very much a Catholic idea.

[Ellie]

The teacher literally jumped backwards with a loud gasp of horror. She then collected herself and said nothing.

Something tells me she might have been embellishing, just to rattle the girl a bit and make her feel guilty.

I've seen several people do that. It's just an exaggerated outward reaction. Sure, inside, they're probably really shocked, but nobody really puts on a show unless they want to coerce someone into feeling a certain way.

It's all just a big, garish display of exaggerated emotions.

[Michael Bowen]

Rumor has it that the recount is indeed resulting in more votes in favor of the Amendment, especially in counties with a high percentage of minority voters. It probably won't be much though, just a few hundred votes over all and that's not enough to close the gap. Keep your fingers crossed though! You never know!

[sophia8]

"Also the whole 'we only have a stable spare' wasn't really That mean as houses in contemporary Bethlehem were just one room with two tiers, the lower of which had a name that transliterates from greek as 'stable' because the animals were sometimes kept on that level away from the upper eating area."

You're quite right Jake. I once knew a family of small-holders, attempting self-sufficincy, who built their own 2-tier house exactly like that. The family living quarters were uptairs and the amimals were housed underneath. A very economical idea, as the heat from the animals percolated upstairs. (And it didn't smell at all!)
It's a sensible way to build an inn when the sole transport is horses and mules; I'm sure that it was perfectly common for guests to be given a sleeping-pad in the warm, strawy lower area.
And of course, it fits modern Western notions of Mary and Joseph being too poor to afford a hotel room and having to endure the indignity and hardship of sleeping with donkeys and oxen.

[carla]

here's a decidedly non-catholic explanation of the immaculate conception:
http://www.gotquestions.org/immaculate-conception.html

I rummaged around a little on the site, until the hives out into which I was breaking became unbearable, and it elucidates a number of aspects of the fundamentalist view of catholocism. Probably not news to Fred.

[MrProliferation]

Wow. This on top of the crazy ban on all books related to homosexuality by an Alabama lawmaker proposed today. That's right, all books with homosexual characters or nonfiction that portrays homosexuality as acceptable or natural are removed from public schools and UNIVERSITY LIBRARIES. REALLY makes Alabama look the backwoods Confederate Bloc it wants to be.

And yes, I've been to Alabama a lot and have family there and I say this without a doubt. Wow. Just plain wow.

[Michael Bowen]

If the book banning bill becomes law it will almost assuredly be struck down by the courts.

[Jake]

And then the alabama homophobes will wail and moan that those 'Activist' judges are forcing the state's children to be gay.

Bastards.

[Wakboth]

"Christianism -- all the dogma, none the mercy!
Nine out of ten bigots prefer Christianism.
Do you feel threatened by equality? No need! Join our growing number and learn that God loves only people like you!
Christianism -- you can't believe it's not Christianity!"

[Ellie]

Wow. This on top of the crazy ban on all books related to homosexuality by an Alabama lawmaker proposed today. That's right, all books with homosexual characters or nonfiction that portrays homosexuality as acceptable or natural are removed from public schools and UNIVERSITY LIBRARIES. REALLY makes Alabama look the backwoods Confederate Bloc it wants to be.

Why are these people so content to wallow in ignorance and hatred? Thinking and opening your mind isn't THAT hard!

(Or is it? If it is, damn, I must be gifted.)

[slick riddles]

I very much enjoyed Patrick's prose. I'm a NYer but I've had a long fascination with southern music in all it's forms - Blues, Bluegrass, and Country. I'm not sure where it all was going but I was having fun reading it.
There seems to be confusion between the Virgin Birth (of Jesus) and the Immaculate Conception of Mary. Jesus is reported to have been born of a virgin (at least 60 years after the fact). This was not unusual, many prominent persons and gods had special births. It also fulfills a prophecy about the Messiah. As Americans we are free to believe this or not as we think best.
The doctine of Mary's Immaculate Conception is much more recent (sometime late in the 19th century, I think) and what it does is gets Jesus off the hook of being born with the BIG O - original sin. Ya see Augustine, a 5th century bishop created this doctrine that says we are all born with original sin it comes from the fall and specifically from EVE but it is passed from generation to generation via semen (I'm not making this up). So Mary would be contaminated by it unless her conception were declared immaculate. And it just wouldn't do to have Jesus spending nine months in a uterus polluted with OS As Americans we are free to believe this or not.
Finally, I read somewhere that the word translated as virgin - almah really means young girl and not necessarily virgin.