Teen Mania

This article in the San Francisco Chronicle is a week old, and I should've commented on it sooner -- but then I've been AWOL for a week, and I should've commented on a lot of things sooner.

Here's the scenario, ably summarized by the Chronicle's Joe Garofoli:

More than 25,000 evangelical Christian youth landed Friday in San Francisco for a two-day rally at AT&T Park against "the virtue terrorism" of popular culture, and they were greeted by an official city condemnation and a clutch of protesters who said their event amounted to a "fascist mega-pep rally."

"Battle Cry for a Generation" is led by a 44-year-old Concord native, Ron Luce, who wants "God's instruction book" to guide young people away from the corrupting influence of popular culture.

Luce, whose Teen Mania organization is based in Texas, kicked off a three-city "reverse rebellion" tour Friday night intended to counter a popular culture that he says glamorizes violence and sex. The $55 advance tickets for two days of musical performances and speeches were sold out, but walk-up admission was available for $199.

Five reactions:

1. Enough with the martial metaphors.

The "spiritual warfare" metaphor was once a good one. St. Paul used it well, as did John Bunyan. But overuse and misuse have long since corrupted this metaphor, devaluing its currency to cliche status. (When exactly the last nail was pounded into the coffin of this metaphor's utility is in dispute. Some say it was with the novels of Frank Peretti, while I argue it was the godawful 1987 Petra album, "This Means War!")

"This is more than a spiritual war," Luce said. "It's a culture war."

Military metaphors abound in Luce's descriptions of the struggle. He tells young people of how "an enemy has launched a brutal attack on them." At a pre-Battle Cry rally Friday afternoon on the steps of City Hall, Luce told his mostly teenage audience that "terrorists of a different kind" -- advertisers -- were targeting them and that they were "caught in the middle of the battle."

What was that again about glamorizing violence?

2. Stop pissing on trees.

The name "Battle Cry" -- and especially the shameless, spiritualized dick-swinging of the "City Hall Rally" -- has little to do with what St. Paul meant by "spiritual warfare." It is, instead, the latest example of all that the so-called "culture warriors" seem capable of: Marking their territory by pissing on trees.

From the bogus "War on Christmas" to the fetishistic devotion to Ten Commandments markers, this territory-marking has become an obsession for many of the alleged followers of Christ. "They'll know we are Christians by our love" apparently proved too difficult, so instead we've settled for "They'll know we are Christians by our bullying dominance of the public square."

Stop it. Just stop. Stop pissing on trees. Stop "reclaiming America for Christ." Christ already has a kingdom, an upside-down, mustard-seed kingdom without a flag. And while you people are so busy trying to create an alternative kingdom called "Christian America," the prostitutes and tax collectors and Samaritans are entering the kingdom of God ahead of you. And so are a lot of those couples who got married there at City Hall.

3. Luce's message isn't all bad.

Much of what Ron Luce's "Teen Mania Ministries" has to say is pretty awful. Mainly, it's a condemnation of Sex, Drugs and Rock & Roll. This is a reductive and uninspiring message.

It's reductive partly because it presents such a naive and stunted notion of what constitutes evil. If SD&RR really is the apotheosis of evil, then Mick Jagger really is the Prince of Darkness -- a greater threat to humanity and a greater source of pain than Osama bin Laden, or Kim Jong Il, or Ken Lay or any other predatory purveyor of pain and injustice. The confusion here seems to be mistaking vice (and an expansive understanding of vice, at that) with genuine evil. Vice has to do with weakness; evil has to do with injustice. The Teen Mania obsession with SD&RR winds up declaring "war" on weakness while ignoring injustice. That's not good. Nor is it compatible with Christianity.

It's also reductive because it presents a naive and stunted notion of what constitutes good. Virtue winds up consisting entirely of avoiding vice -- that is to say, avoiding Sex, Drugs and (secular) Rock & Roll. This is, again, an uninspiring vision of the good life.

And because this vision is so uninspiring, Teen Mania can't hope to be effective in some of it's worthier stated goals, such as reducing teen suicide. I'm not a fan of groups that use a teen suicide "crisis" as a bogeyman, citing trumped-up statistics for fundraising/grant-writing fodder. But then I'm certainly not in favor of teen suicide, either. I just think Teen Mania's efforts against it are about as likely to succeed as that Big Fun song in Heathers, "Teen Suicide: Don't Do It."

But having said all that, I was a bit intrigued and encouraged to read that Luce wants "to guide young people away from the corrupting influence of popular culture," and particularly away from "a corporate culture that spends millions trying to woo the under-21 crowd."

There's a germ of something good there, maybe even a mustard seed. That critique of "a corporate culture" sounds almost like something from Naomi Klein's No Logo.

Luce, unfortunately, doesn't seem able to follow the trajectory of this critique. He's not interested in "No Logo," he's interested in a New Logo. He wants Jesus to be the corporate logo these kids choose.

It pains me to have to write this sentence, but here it is: Jesus is not a logo.

4. These 25,000 kids are not all the same.

Here's the outlook of one participant:

Same-sex marriage "is another sign of the end of times," said Sherilyn David, referring to the apocalypse that some fundamentalist Christians believe is foretold in Scripture. The 22-year-old San Jose administrative assistant came to Battle Cry with 15 other young Christians on Friday and will be joined by 60 other friends Saturday.

If it's a sign of the End Times, then why is Ms. David opposing it? Doesn't she want Jesus to come back? I don't share David's apocalyptic theology, but if I did, I would have to point out that nowhere in Scripture is same-sex marriage presented as a "sign of the end of times." Earthquakes, famine, wars and rumors of war, yes. Happy couples on the steps of City Hall in San Francisco, no.

But where Ms. David and her 60 friends clearly seem to be motivated by the pissing-on-trees aspects of "Battle Cry," other participants seem to have other motivations:

Christian Gallion, a 15-year-old in town with his Assembly of God youth group from Humboldt County, shrugged off being called "fascists" by counterdemonstrators.

"It doesn't bother me," Gallion said. "It's a beautiful city, and we don't have anything against the protesters."

His youth pastor had no interest in engaging in political debates.

"I'm not here to hate anybody," Scott Thompson said. "This isn't about Bush or gays or anything other than being here to worship together."

If one's only motivation is "to worship together," then the steps of City Hall really isn't the most appropriate place to gather. So Scott Thompson (not that one, obviously) and the good kids in his A of G youth group are being used. Their stated desire "to worship together" wound up getting them recruited into "a culture war" that is, in fact, all about Bush and gays.

But there is a difference between Luce's zealous footsoldiers, like Ms. David, and his unwitting conscripts, like Thompson and Gallion. Counterprotesters, and any other efforts to counter efforts like Battle Cry, should keep this difference in mind.

5. If you're an evangelical teen, this ain't a bad deal.

If you're growing up in the evangelical subculture, there aren't a lot of events you'll be allowed to attend, but this is one of them. And the bottom line here is this: $55 for two days in San Francisco is a good deal.

That $55 includes concert tickets. More importantly, it also includes two days away from home. In San Francisco. And more than likely it also includes a longish bus or van ride, possibly in the dark, with the girls from the youth group. That may amount to little more than surreptitious hand-holding, but don't knock it. For an evangelical teenager, a bit of surreptitious hand-holding on the church bus may amount to the high point of the school year. (And yes, as you've probably guessed, I'm speaking from experience. In 1985 I was far less excited by the prospect of seeing David Meece in concert at the Trenton War Memorial than I was by the prospect of two hours round-trip sitting next to Cindy Penrose. )

As for the concerts themselves, Toby Mac is actually better than you'd think, and Delirious wasn't unbearable in concert. I can't speak for the others.

But most evangelical teens have learned to cope with the embarrassments of CCM. They've learned that there's still fun to be had even at the lamest of concerts. And they've learned to smile in apparent sincerity when their Peter-Pan-complex-addled youth minister says, "Dude, we're rockin' for Jesus!" during the middle of a competent-but-soulless set by the latest subcultural knockoff of Matchbox 20. Such playing along is essential if one hopes to slip off to wherever one might slip off to during the keynote speakers that follow the concert.

So the downside: $55, the excruciating experience of the City Hall "rally," a concert lineup that makes "Creation" look hip, and a series of sermons in which you will again be urged to re-re-re-re-re- "dedicate your life to Christ" -- with little indication as to what that actually might mean or why it might be a good thing. The upside: two days away from home; San Francisco in the spring; the glorious potential, however slight in reality, of that bus ride. On balance, not a bad deal for an evangelical teenager.

Not all of the 25,000 teens who took part in the San Francisco "Battle Cry" were thinking of the event in these terms. But, trust me, at least 10,000 of them were. Counterprotesters should also keep that in mind.

Comments

[The42ndGuy]

Preach it, bro. This veteran remembers the van rides well-- oh, how he does. Everyone knew that the girls in my youth group were the cutest. Those were the days.

Actually, my youth pastor was into things like exposing us to poverty and teaching us about urban ministry. Those trips actually changed my life. But the girls were definitely a nice touch. (So were the boys, although I'd never have admitted it at the time.)

[L]

What these people have lost track of is that spiritual warfare is a metaphor for the struggle for spiritual growth against temptations. It does not involve "taking it to the streets" or "direct action" or whatever term is hip these days. That's just to misuse it. One might argue that it's the diametric opposite of what the term is supposed to express.

[Kris]

Great post. I work in youth and family ministry and have been getting tons of Battle Cry stuff in the mail. Your post sums up my thoughts on the matter and explains why I threw away that mail.

Vice has to do with weakness; evil has to do with injustice.
Thank you for saying that; I've been struggling to put that idea into words and you pulled it off in one sentence.

[Duane]

Fred, those van rides are a bit more than hand-holding when yer "dating" one of the church "bus kids". Hooey! Those girls are FAST. But fun. Here's a shout out to Diane Brooks. Still think about ya, girl!

[cjmr's husband]

So, "spiritual warfare" means the same thing as "jihad", and we're starting to misuse it in exactly the same way.

And they say Christians can have no empathy for Muslims.

[Reverend Ref]

The van ride comments reminded me of a song by Bryan Duncan .... "Mr. Bailey's Daughter."

"I learned beyond a shadow of a doubt that there were girls under the age of 65 ..."

Great post as always. Why can't I ever think of this stuff when I'm actually talking to a fundagelical?

[Fade Manley]

I went on a summer missions trip with Teen Mania several years ago. What I remember most vividly (besides the endless rules, which I'm somewhat more sympathetic to now than I was at the time, with the perspective that comes from not being a teenager but knowing how hard it is to control a bunch of kids that age in a strange country) was the approach the group took to sickness.

Which is to say, when I got sick, I got prayed over vigorously and told to get back into the drama performances we were doing, despite getting progressively worse. Because obviously a sickness was an attack from Satan, trying to prevent me from participating in the ministry, so the best counter-attack was to pray really enthusiastically about the issue. To make a long story short: high fever for multiple days, hallucinations from lack of sleep, bronchitis, and then finally the doctor.

Because of course the best way to deal with obvious illness is prayer and more ministry work.

This has rather colored all of my subsequent views of what this particular organization does and says. I wonder if this latest war on culture or what not will work as well as their very sincere war on bronchitis.

[J]

For me to make fun of this stuff would be like shooting fish in a barrel. Too, it would an exercise in nigh-masturbatory self-pleasure.

[J]

Hmm, alright well I will "do" this bit:

"The "spiritual warfare" metaphor was once a good one. St. Paul used it well, as did John Bunyan. But overuse and misuse have long since corrupted this metaphor, devaluing its currency to cliche status . . ."

Do we even have non-military or non-sports metaphors left in our political/religious vocabulary? Even when liberal people talking about helping XYZ society or sub-group, they inevitably say, "We need a Marshall Plan for XYZ!" In the face of our increasing impotence and uselessness to the world at large or to ourselves, we amp up the military rhetoric. Other societies take heed: If you want to fail at everything you attempt, just declare a "war" on it. It worked for Poverty, Drugs, Crime, and Terrorism.

[dr ngo]

Minor note from an old historian: although George Catlett Marshall had been a general before he became Secretary of State, the "Marshall Plan" was not a military maneuver, but an economic aid package - giving lots of money to non-Communist Europe in the postwar period, with the aim of keeping it non-Communist.

This was generally considered a good idea, both at the time and in retrospect. It probably kept Western Europe non-communist, as well as alleviating much of the hardship of the postwar era. Years later the British government created Marshall Scholarships in recognition of (and gratitude for) aid received under the Marshall Plan.

Posted in recognition of (and gratitude for) the Marshall Scholarship I enjoyed 1964-1967.

[Peatey]

Somehow spiritual warfare reminds me of the other long war.

[bulbul]

Dang, cjmr's husband, J and dr ngo already said what was on my mind.
Now I am fully aware of the fact that the Slacktivist comments crowd is a pretty smart bunch, but sometimes you're just taking it too far, y'know what I'm sayin'? :-)

Just a small clarification: future Communist countries were invited to join the Marshall Plan, too, and Czechoslovakia and Poland accepted the invitation. Facing strong pressure from Moscow, however, they withdrew and soon all Eastern European countries (plus Finland) rejected the Plan. This is generally seen as the final sign of the Soviet domination of the region and a turning point in the history of many Eastern European countries involved.

[Mnemosyne]

And they've learned to smile in apparent sincerity when their Peter-Pan-complex-addled youth minister says, "Dude, we're rockin' for Jesus!" during the middle of a competent-but-soulless set by the latest subcultural knockoff of Matchbox 20.

Anybody ever seen the episode of "Father Ted" where they go on vacation? Graham Norton plays the Catholic priest version of that minister, and it's so dead-on that it's frightening.

[Mark]

Two things:

First off, I was in San Francisco at the time of the event and saw the TV coverage of the protests, by far and away the best shot was of a young person standing in the crowd looking incredibly confused as the pro-gay rights crowd called him a sexist-facist-racist-bigot.

Secondly, the battlecry site quotes this about Delirious; "their music videos are featured in the UK in regular rotation on MTV, MTV 2, VH-1, and The Box." This is just a lie. I don't think I've ever seen them on UK music television stations.

[Axiomatic]

On religious warfare terms...Where are the PO(S)W's?

And Spiritual Collateral Damage? Religious Blowback? Can someone declare themselves a Wartime Pastor?

[Amanda W]

We have to make up persecution so we can be cool like Jesus was, too. Why not warfare, while we're at it?

[robert p]

Fred you have "hit the head on the nail" so to speak. Some good stuff mate, liked the thing about Vice & Evil. I used to think I was an evil person & was pretty messed up. This was pretty funny but serious too:

Stop it. Just stop. Stop pissing on trees. Stop "reclaiming America for Christ." Christ already has a kingdom, an upside-down, mustard-seed kingdom without a flag.

I was personally involved in lost causes (impoerted from America) such as "Change the Campus, Change the World" and "Take Dominion". In recent years NZ evangelicals have tried to "Rise Up", "Break Out", "Impact World Tour" and now "Greg Laurie Crusade".

I wonder if we'll have any pep rallies for "Serve the Poor", "Heal the Broken Hearted", "Minister to Prisoners, Prostitutes, and Paralytics".

[Brandi]

Your Point 2 summed up what I've been wanting to say about the strange turns some Christians have taken their evangelism in. Beautiful.

[Mark]

From the battlecry website:
"The Teenage Bill of Rights
We, a new generation of young Americans, in order to protect the heritage of our forefathers and secure the blessings of liberty for ourselves and generations to come, do affirm and pledge this declaration:"

Awesome stuff.

[Axiomatic]

Strangely, the Teenage Bill of Rights does not actually mention any rights for teens to have.

[J]

I do know what the Marshall Plan was, but thank you, bulbul. I'm just giving it as an example of the pseudomilitary boilerplate that infests everyone's language nowadays. For practical criticism, good old Jane Jacobs in The Economy of Cities gave a dozen examples of foreign or domestic aid packages that were pitched as a "Marshall Plan for XYZ" between the 50's and 70's, the common thread being that all of them were hastily conceived, politically motivated, very expensive, and total failures.

On religious warfare terms...Where are the PO(S)W's?

And Spiritual Collateral Damage? Religious Blowback? Can someone declare themselves a Wartime Pastor?

Pure genius, Axiomatic. If spiritual warfare has any claim to being "real" war, then where are the armless children dismembered by faith? The naked young women running, screaming in pain and terror from the scriptural napalm? The mass graves of spiritual victims?

Me, I know literally dozens of people with spiritual Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

[mike]

I just think Teen Mania's efforts against it are about as likely to succeed as that Big Fun song in Heathers, "Teen Suicide: Don't Do It."
Great. Now you've forced me to dig out my copy of "If I'm a Ham, You're a Sausage".

[Colin Toffelmire]

Great post as always, and I absolutely agree with everything in it (and everything in the responses so far too, which is less common). Just one thing though. If we're gonna stop with the war metaphors can we also please, please, please stop with the fascist/Nazi monikers as well? Look, I love to mock the political right as much as anyone, and I'm Canadian so I really, really love to mock the American religious right. That being said, though he is an unmitigated ass, Bush is not Hitler and neither are any of his advisors (aka puppet masters). They may be heartless and their approach to governing and public policy may be cruel and insane, but they have yet to round up an entire segment of their own citizenry for the purposes of mass extermination. I think its insulting to the memory of those people who have suffered and died under actual fascist regimes to call somebody a fascist just because they belong to the religious right. Now, again, I would like to reiterate the fact that I unilaterally agree with every response I've read on this post and though these rallies may not actually be fascist, they are often ridiculous and have a tendency to reflect the very worst of North American evangelicalism. All I can say about that is...well, the rest of us evangelicals are trying to stem the tide, I swear.

[Stephen Frug]

Genuine, not-at-all-rhetorical question here. I'm not a Christian, but I seem to recall that Jesus had some rather scathing things to say about people who prayed in public, and encouraged people to pray privately. How do all these 'let's-gather-thousands-of-people-and-pray-together' types deal with the issue of blatantly going against [in their view] God's instructions?

Really, I'm curious.

[ScottDaly]

Thanks for another insightful and to the point entry. I had never thought of it as marking territory before, but now that you have pointed it out a lot of "Modern Christian" behavior that has confused me before now makes sense. For these people it is not about spirituality, helping others, and being sincere in their beliefs. It is about advertising to the rest of the world how pure and wholesome they are. Whether it is through made for media events like the rally, making sure that the 10 commandments are in every public space, or even those fish press ons that they put on their cars. For their pastors is is about being the CEO of the biggest faith factory with the $100,000 multi media system to hype up the faithful during services. I have often wondered. If the accounting books were available to the public. How much of the money that these groups raise actually goes into helping people in a manner that is not self promoting???

[Alan]

"They may be heartless and their approach to governing and public policy may be cruel and insane, but they have yet to round up an entire segment of their own citizenry for the purposes of mass extermination."

The operative word in that sentence is "yet." Frankly, I have little doubt that there are people at the highest levels of the Bush Administration who would put Muslims, gays, atheists and other "unpersons" in death camps tomorrow if they could get away with it. We are currently running gulags on three continents after all.

[VJB]

Sad that the 'logos' of John should become a logo.

[Constantine]

If you're growing up in the evangelical subculture, there aren't a lot of events you'll be allowed to attend, but this is one of them. And the bottom line here is this: $55 for two days in San Francisco is a good deal.

It always confounded me why people thought that church could attract more young people if they made it "fun" for people to go to and turned church into a "fun" and "entertainment" event. It seemed like something besides the point. Then I realized that, unlike me, who lives in a city in which dozens of different bands hold concerts every night, there are plenty of young people, lots of cafes, several movie theaters, and various nightclubs, that the opportunities for "fun" are already taken care of. Church becomes a place to spiritually focus oneself and get away from these (albeit fun) distractions. For plenty of these fundangelicals, on the other hand, they have no "fun" outlets, either because of the location in which they live or because of social restrictions placed on them by their families, so these cheesy, irony-free-zone church "entertainments" at church are extremely attractive.

[Beth]

"This is more than a spiritual war," Luce said. "It's a culture war."

Isn't that kind of like saying, "This is about more than God. It's about politics"?

So, "spiritual warfare" means the same thing as "jihad", and we're starting to misuse it in exactly the same way.

Well, I don't think Christian youth ministers are telling kids to strap explosives to their bodies yet, but I agree the parallels are frightening. What's worse the two 'jihads' (Muslim and Christian) tend to incite and inspire each other. I fear an Animal Farm-like conclusion where, by the end, no one will be able to tell the Christian spiritual warriors from the Muslim jihadists.

Strangely, the Teenage Bill of Rights does not actually mention any rights for teens to have.

Even more strange, it's a sort of mish-mash of the preamble to the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence and the Boy Scout Pledge.

Fade Manley,
How did your youth ministers respond to your failure to pray yourself out of bronchitis? Was it considered a sign of spiritual weakness on your part, or did they concede that the average teen really can't be expected to have the spiritual power to cure all diseases?

Sad that the 'logos' of John should become a logo.

Very well put. It's odd that these evangelicals have so little faith in the power of the Logos of God that they think they have to replace it with the logos of marketing in order to bring kids to Christ.

[Chris]

Ok... I normally don't comment on blogs, but you had to go and remind me of that awful Petra album... Thanks for making my Monday even worse :)

Great site by the way... My mom used to spam my inbox with fundy articles all the time, but after I started responding with links and quotes from your site she stopped... You should advertise as spam blocking software...

[J]

I fear an Animal Farm-like conclusion where, by the end, no one will be able to tell the Christian spiritual warriors from the Muslim jihadists.

Too late: I for one am already there. The only difference I can see is that Christians don't need body-bombs--they can afford planes.

[J]

So, "spiritual warfare" means the same thing as "jihad", and we're starting to misuse it in exactly the same way.

Oh that old thing: "Jihad doesn't mean war."

Remind me when, in history, Muslims have ever declared a jihad that did NOT involve at least the threat of violence.

[J]

For plenty of these fundangelicals, on the other hand, they have no "fun" outlets, either because of the location in which they live or because of social restrictions placed on them by their families, so these cheesy, irony-free-zone church "entertainments" at church are extremely attractive.

That's interesting. Bruce Bawer--before 9/11 happened and he went crazy--suggested that the religious right never would have formed if there were still traveling circuses in rural America.

[cjmr's husband]

Who said jihad doesn't mean war? Having just completed the original Jihad against the pagans, the Prophet used it as a metaphor for the internal struggle. Spiritual warfare. Now it's used for "real" war again. No similarity to what the Christians are doing. Nope.

[Petra Fan]

But I LIKED This Means War!

[Luke]

Honestly, kids, jhd does not mean war. Jahada, the first declension, is to strive or to struggle.

Kitabs ul-Jihad, such as Sulami's, do /not/ focus on whacking a Christian with a battle axe. Or a Hindu or Jain. Mostly, it's about the two major jihads, and the four minor.

So, J, let's not misuse words. The fundigelicals /are/ doing something rather like jihad; they want to purify everyone. Which means wipe away all the God-fearing catamites like me. And they don't afford the Jews, Muslims, Zoaroastrians, and Hindus the same protections that they get under Islam.

[David]

Nah. On Fire! was the quintessential Petra album of the time. Remember all the accusations that Petra had gone 'metal'? And how that was somehow a derogatory term?

The blissful days of ignorance...

[J]

So, J, let's not misuse words.

No, let's not. And let's not pretend that etymology trumps history. You did not answer my question: When, ever, have Muslims declared a "jihad" that did not involve a military campaign? (And Tariq Ali or Nawaal Al-Saadawi calling for jihads against global poverty doesn't count).

[M]

DC '91. Bad Hotel, lousy religious rally, deathly hot.
Best. Bus ride. Ever. Thank you for bringing back those great adolescent memories.

Oh, and Petra's "Back to the Street" was the first cassette I ever bought. Facing up to your past is the best way to move on.

[bellatrys]

J, when have Christians ever declared a Crusade that didn't involve killing nonbelievers? Including the wrong sorts of Christians (Albigensians/Cathars/Greek Orthodox.)

Don't run away from *our* history - if you want to pretend that no Moslem theologian has ever used "jihad" in the exact same sense that St. Paul talks about playing legionary centurion (complete with invocations of Mithraism!), you're free to do that, of course: God doesn't smite the intellectually dishonest. But that won't protect you from verbal combat on this playing field...

[bulbul]

Luke: Honestly, kids, jhd does not mean war. Jahada, the first declension, is to strive or to struggle.
First of all, it's not declension, since this is a verb. It's either 'stem' or 'form' (wazn - وزن - in Arabic). And it's the third form, not the first, i.e. "jaahada" (جاهد).

J: When, ever, have Muslims declared a "jihad" that did not involve a military campaign?
This is the wrong question. Don't let yourself be fooled by Usama and his likes declaring jihad - they have no right to do that. So technically, jihad isn't declared, it's more like an obligation one takes upon himself.
I could do some research, if you wish, but this subject really bores me.

[jeremy4031]

J, when have Christians ever declared a Crusade that didn't involve killing nonbelievers? Including the wrong sorts of Christians (Albigensians/Cathars/Greek Orthodox.)

They never have--or, that is, they always have: Crusades generally mean killing somebody. But equivocating Christian and Muslim nastiness is as silly as those who argue whether Hitler or Stalin was "worse."

This is the wrong question. Don't let yourself be fooled by Usama and his likes declaring jihad - they have no right to do that. So technically, jihad isn't declared, it's more like an obligation one takes upon himself.

1.) So who does have the right? and . . .

2.) No one has yet answered me: Name one non-violent jihad in history.

[NBarnes]

When, ever, have Muslims declared a "jihad" that did not involve a military campaign? (And Tariq Ali or Nawaal Al-Saadawi calling for jihads against global poverty doesn't count).

So you want to know when Muslims have declared jihad without violence, and times when they declared jihad without violence don't count?

You, sir, are part of the problem, not part of the solution.

[Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little]

My mom used to spam my inbox with fundy articles all the time, but after I started responding with links and quotes from your site she stopped... You should advertise as spam blocking software...

OMG! "Slacktivist! Stops evangelical spam like Snopes.com stops urban legend email forwards!"

Hrm. Doesn't scan too good. Maybe someone could polish up that slogan for us. Then we'll make MILLIONS! Mwahahahahaaa!

[jeremy4031]

...and times when they declared jihad without violence don't count? You, sir, are part of the problem, not part of the solution.

Easy, easy now. There are a small number of secular Muslim writers and activists--almost all of whom are exiled to the West--who have, of late, devised a novel interpretation of "jihad" as meaning what it meanings etymologically: "struggle."

Then there are tens of millions of Muslims who couldn't give a shit what the precise declensive meaning of "jihad" is 'cause they have and have always had a rather more rough-and-ready meaning for it: War against people we don't like.

There are a small number of secular Muslim writers and activists--almost all of whom are exiled to the West--who have, of late, devised a novel interpretation of "jihad" as meaning what it meanings etymologically: "struggle."
Bullshit. These writers and activists are neither secular (why would a secular dude bother with a theological question in the first place?), nor is a majority of them exiled. Quite the contrary: they are scholars of every madhhab (except maybe the Hanbaliyya). And most of all, this is not a novel interpretation. This word (or rather root) is recorded in this "novel" meaning in Lisan al-Arab, along with "to overcome hardship".
In fact, in 22:78, the Quran directly commands the Believers to "jaahidoo" and specifies that it means to pray regularly, to give to charity and to fast.

Then there are tens of millions of Muslims who couldn't give a shit what the precise declensive meaning of "jihad"
True. Just as there are tens of millions of Americans who don't give a flying fuck about the Constitution.
And I'll repeat: nouns - declension; verbs - conjugation.

Honestly, the abundance of experts on the fine points of islamic theology and the Arabic language really astounds me...

[Beth]

Honestly, the abundance of experts on the fine points of islamic theology and the Arabic language really astounds me...

Then you'll be relieved to know I'm fairly ignorant about both, though the little I've read supports your explanation. Of course when bin Laden calls for a 'jihad' against the West, it's clear to most people that he's not advocating fasting and charity, just as it's clear that when that when Bush calls for a 'crusade' against al Qaeda, he's not advocating preaching and gospel music (though when my neighborhood church has its annual Crusade, that is what they do). Context often affects the meanings of words. Why is that so hard for some people to grasp?

[Catnmus]

I recently wrote about the same article in my blog (at http://blogs.salon.com/0001787/2006/04/01.html#a601). Long story short - in my humble opinion, this concert was a marketing event to promote Luce's "MySpace - with God in the middle" web service.

[pat greene]

I found my reaction to the event as being "yeah, yeah, another one of these things...."

Actually, the thing that annoyed me most about that whole event was the fact that the SF Board of Supervisors saw fit to pass a resolution condemning it. I don't like the message of the event necessarily, but it *is* a private religious event, and the Board of Supes had no business declaring it to be an "act of provocation." So much for the separation of church and state.

[Garnet]

but it *is* a private religious event, and the Board of Supes had no business declaring it to be an "act of provocation."

How could shipping in more than twenty-five thousand demonstrators from outside San Francisco into the city for a two day rally, concert and sales pitch, itself a subset of a three-city 'reverse rebellion', possibly be a private religious event?