L.B.: Rayford Zork

There's been a lot of discussion on the Internets of Left Behind: Eternal Forces -- the new video game set in the fantasy world of Tim LaHaye & Jerry B. Jenkins' best-selling apocalyptic novels (see, for example, this jhutson post at Daily Kos).

I guess I didn't expect this to be so controversial because I still remembered playing the original, text-only version of the game. I started playing on the old mainframe system -- the same IBM megacomputer Edgar C. Whisenant used for the calculations he relied on for his excellent, although inexplicably out-of-print, 88 Reasons Why the Rapture Will Be in 1988 -- but ultimately never completed the quest until I got a pirated floppy of the game for my Commodore 128.

If I remember correctly, it went something like this:

In front of you to the north is the door to New Hope Village Church.
>n

The door is closed.
>open door

The door opens and you see the sanctuary of New Hope Village Church to the north.
>n

You are in the sanctuary of New Hope Village Church. The Rev. Bruce Barnes is here. The BFG-9000 is here.
>get BFG-9000

You cannot carry any more.
>i

You are carrying:
A torch
A book of matches
A Bible
Change for the pay phone
Hattie Durham's lace panties
Bullets
>drop Bible

The Bible is on the floor. The Rev. Bruce Barnes is here. The BFG-9000 is here.
>get BFG-9000

You are in the sanctuary of New Hope Village Church. The Rev. Bruce Barnes is here. There is a Bible on the floor.
>s

You exit New Hope Village Church to the sidewalk. The door to New Hope Village church is to the north.
>s

You are on the street in front of New Hope Village Church. The street goes east and west.
>e

You are in Manhattan. There is an infidel here.
>Convert infidel.

The infidel does not want to be converted.
>Convert infidel.

The infidel does not want to be converted.
>Convert infidel.

The infidel does not want to be converted.
>Witness to infidel.

The infidel does not want to be converted.
>tell infidel about Hell

Such language!

You are in Manhattan. There is an infidel here.
>tell infidel about eternal suffering and gnashing of teeth in the lake of fire

The infidel does not want to be converted.
>shoot infidel

You raise the BFG-9000 and fire, raining divine judgment on the infidel in a righteous hail of molten lead. The infidel falls over, dead.

Score: 105 out of 500.

You are in Manhattan. There is a dead infidel here.
>examine dead infidel.

On the body of the dead infidel you find more change for the pay phone.
>get change.

You are in Manhattan. There is a dead infidel here.
>make phone call

You have to find a phone first!

You are in Manhattan. There is a dead infidel here.
>n

Comments

[Mahan Atma]

Be sure to check out the website:

http://www.leftbehindgames.com/pages/faq.htm

Does anyone get killed in the game?
People do perish in our game just like some do in the book series. This is a real strategy game, so the gamer controls his forc

Why does this game have to contain violence at all? Why is it necessary for a fun and successful game?
Violence is not required to make a fun game. However, it is required to make a game about the end of the world in the Left Behind book series. We have taken great care to make certain that there are real consequences for poor gamer behavior, unlike most games in the market. For instance, unnecessary killing will result in lower Spirit points which are essential to winning.

[cjmr's husband]

> convert infidel
convert infidel into what?

[Mark]

"For instance, unnecessary killing will result in lower Spirit points which are essential to winning." Any game based around the Christian life that has winning based upon the amounts of points you accumulate seems somewhat, um, horribly horribly perverted.

[Mark]

Also, from the above FAQ:

"Does the violence depicted in the game run contrary to Jesus’ message on “love your enemy”?

Absolutely not. Christians are quite clearly taught to turn the other cheek and to love their enemies. It is equally true that no one should forfeit their lives to an aggressor who is bent on inflicting death."

I don't know about that last bit, I'm sure that someone tried that once a couple of thousand years ago.

[McDuff]

High-Larious, Mr Clarke.

[ScottDaly]

I think the real contoversy over the game is not that it deals with the rapture. But that it is based on the pricipal of forced conversion at gunpoint. It is about the principal that the only good infidel is a dead infidel. Of course you loose points for indiscriminate killing. After all if you shoot someone without giving them a chance to convert God looses a soul that would go to heaven. But if the person fails to convert then you may as well fill them with lead because they aren't following the 'right' beliefs and they are doomed to hell anyway. (BTW: if this sounds mildly familiar but you can't quite place it feel free to acquaint yourself with the writings of Bin Laden and Zarqawi.)

The game is simply another tool that miltiant Christians are using to try to turn the USA into the TSA (Theocratic States of America). Now I admit that there are a lot of games out there where one side is killing the other, but to the best of my knowledge this is the only game that carries the message that killing people in the name of God is good. An article that I found fairly iluminating can be found at : http://www.talk2action.org/story/2006/6/12/31011/1474

The game also promotes the black-white world view that these people have. As in the game there is no middle ground. No neutrals. No people making up there own minds. Only the saved (Christians), and the dead. And it's not good enough to simply be a Christian. You have to be a Christian that believes correctly. In my opinion if you aren't scared you aren't paying attention.

Although I do have to admit to being more than a little puzzled about why the game lets you play the Anti-Christ side. I would think that the concept of the Anti-Christ winning would cause these peoples heads to explode. That is unless they have programmed the game to report information on who is playing the wrong side so that they can be reported to a local church. Either for conversion efforts, or to be excommunicated if they are already Christians. Nah, I'm just being paranoid. Or am I?

[Bugmaster]

You are in a maze of twisted Biblical passages, all alike.

[Confused]

Actually, the BFG shoots green energy ball things, not bullets... so it's perfectly appropriate that it'd get misrepresented in a Left Behind game.

[pharoute]

"You only winged him. Now he's a Unitarian"

[The42ndGuy]

Bugmaster: Awesome!

[Ottie]

> put panties on dead infidel's head

[Skyknight]

I'm more interested in what LaHaye might have to say about this. Do we have any quotes from him about the game, so far?

[Jessica Guilford]

> put panties on dead infidel's head

You are in Manhattan. There is a cross-dressing dead infidel in front of you.

>Kill dead infidel again

You can't kill someone who's already dead!

>Resurrect dead infidel

The infidel comes to life again. Hattie Durham's lace panties are on his head.

>Kill infidel

You are in Manhattan. There is a cross-dressing dead infidel in front of you.

- - -

Who's up next? Anybody?

[Rasselas]

You are afraid of death.
> Read New Testament.
You are afraid of death.
> Turn other cheek.
You are afraid of death.
> Read Old Testament.
You are afraid of death and want to punish other people to make up for it.
> Form PAC.

[Mark]

You are in Manhattan
> Say sinner's prayer.
You find eternal salvation

[Erick Oppeen]

The PMDs may fear death. Oddly enough, after putting up with their rantings for a few hours (like I had to in a bus trip I had to take recently) I find death strangely attractive.

[Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little]

> convert infidel
convert infidel into what?

...into alternating current, using a handy device that plugs into your vehicle's cigarette lighter!

[pharoute]

The close out bin had "Sitting Behind: Drepung"

> Breathe
You are breathing

I won!

[Lucia]

Thanks a LOT, Bugmaster! The NSA has dispatched a padded van to my house after observing me collapsed in helpless giggles in front of the computer. You may write to me at www.gitmo.gov/blackhole.

[grenadine]

pharoute = funny.

[Bruce Garrett]

You are in a maze of twisted Biblical passages, all alike.

"You only winged him. Now he's a Unitarian"

Hahahaha... There's some real talent in this group.

[Frances]

I've been thinking that the regular inhabitants of New York should get a chance -- but I suppose that would be the same thing as playing the Antichrist side.

Come to think of it, we'd probably just ignore the Rapturists to death.

[Jeff]

There is an Anti-Christ here

>Kill Anti-Christ

With what? Your bare hands?

>Yes

There is a dead Anti-Christ here

> Take Anti-Christ

You'll never get him up the stairs!

(Not as good as twisty Biblical passages, though..)

[LL]

"You only winged him. Now he's a Unitarian"

Hee hee... funny. I'm not even precisely sure what it means (biblically speaking), but it's still funny.

[Warmongering Lunatic]

The whole bit from the Simpsons:

Bart: When I’m feeling low, you know what always cheers me up?

Todd: Is it love?

Rod: Kindness?

Bart: Ooh, tough room. Videogames! Whaddya got? [grabs a videogame off the shelf, and reads the title] “Billy Graham’s Bible Blaster?”

Rod: Keep firing; convert the heathens!

[cut to a pixilated video screen. Heathens cross the street, as a Bible gun shoots the Holy Book at them. When a heathen gets hit, he turns into a conservatively dressed man with a halo]

[cut back to the boys]

Bart: Got him!

Rod: No, you just winged him and made him a Unitarian.

Todd: Look out, Bart! A gentle Baha’i!

[cut back to the video screen. A Baha’i, sitting cross-legged and wearing a turban, floats past. Bart zaps him, and turns him into another suit-wearing conservative]

[cut back to the boys]

Bart: All right! Full conversion! [puts his arms around Rod and Todd] Thanks guys, this really cheered me up.

Video: Second Coming! Reload, reload!

[Duane]

You are in a maze of twisted Biblical passages, all alike.

Haha!

[Mike Timonin]

Because Unitarians believe in the worth and value of all belief systems, we are often portrayed as believing nothing, or believing nothing faintly tinged with Christian theology. Hence, winging an infidel with a Bible turns them Unitarian.

[oopla]

http://www.n-lightning.com/catechumen.htm

God told me to post that link.

[pharoute]

Warmongering Lunatic: Thanks for finding the full scene dialogue, I just remember the Unitarian bit.

[bulbul]

Which episode is it? I could have sworn I've seen them all, but apparently, I would have been mistaken.

[Duane]

Almost missed the joke on New Hope Village being one room west of Manhattan. Nicely done, Fred!

[pharoute]

It was the episode where Maude dies /spoiler

[JPL]

Enlighten me, Duane.

[Axiomatic]

I just read the wikipedia entry for this game.

Left Behind: Eternal Forces allows players to engage with the plot of the popular evangelical Christian Left Behind series by directing the actions of the main characters, namely Rayford Steele, Cameron "Buck" Williams, Chloe Steele, and Bruce Barnes in their efforts to counter Nicolae Carpathia, the AntiChrist.

You know, reading all the names just bunched up together like that...damn. Rayford STEELE! Cameron BUCK Williams!

Oh well, it'll suck anyway. I wonder if it'll let you pick your side, though...

[Dahne]

>read Bible

You open to John 14.

I am the way and the truth and the light. He who is without me may be eaten by a grue.

[aunursa]

Billy Graham's Bible Blaster:
http://www.thesimpsons.com/characters/home.htm

(Click on F-H, then Ron Flanders.)

[Kristin]

You are afraid of death and want to punish other people to make up for it.
> Form PAC.

HAHAHAHA!
I got physcially ill this morning when I realized a friend from High School was up until 2 mos ago the Media Director for the Family Research Council.

I guess we know what she's afriad of. Death and homosexual couples.

[Skyknight]

>Talk to infidel

You are only to witness to infidels. Any other talk would yoke light and darkness together.

>s

Your first priority is the infidel.

>Dismantle BFG-9000

It is a holy relic of the first Crusades in Heaven. It must remain inviolate.

>Drop pantelettes

You can't. They're too valuable to you.

>Drop BFG-9000

Where the infidel might desanctify it?

[Skyknight]

(NOW I remember I wanted to comment on this...)

Duane's New Hope/Manhattan comment is probably about Jenkins's obsession with travel logistics--and the tendency on Jenkins's part to ignore what the Rapture's fallout should have included (e.g. wrecked/abandoned cars clogging the highways).

[Axiomatic]

But what if I don't want to convert infidels, and would rather learn more about the Jewish Bankers who are plotting their dasdardly One Currency of Satandollars?

[cjmr's husband]

> N
A wrecked car blocks your path
> S
A wrecked car blocks your path
> E
A wrecked car blocks your path
> W
A wrecked car blocks your path
> U
You need to convert more infidels first!
> GO TO HELL
You most certainly will, if you don't convert more infidels!

[Duane]

You are in a maze of twisted Biblical passages, all alike.

There is a Chick Tract vending machine here.

[Jeff Bartlett]

You know, I dislike fundamentalist Christians telling me I'm going to hell for not wearing the right shoes on Tuesday, or whatever their beef is today, but I think there is a lot of hypocracy going on here.

I mean, sure, killing someone for not converting is pretty screwed up. But so's sleeping with a hooker for 50+ life, and then beating her to death with a baby seal in order to get your $5 back. I played and loved the GTA games, but I recognize they are sick.

The LB game certainly seems to promote a "either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists/anti-christ/evil peace loving pagans" mentality, and I think that is very unhealthy. But let's be honest, it is no less unhealthy than other games out there.

At least with this game you can justify it as "I'm on the side of good, and if they don't join the side of good, they'll run off and become evil and kill lots of good people." That's the plot of 99.9% of games anyway.

It's hardly the message of some games out there.

Course, I'll stop alling it hypocracy the second some born again Christian shoots me when I refuse to convert. And if I live through it, as a video gamer I will be thrilled to finally get to scream to the media "violent Chirstian fiction made him do it!"

"The Left Behind series?"

"No, the Bible!"

[Duane]

Soul-jacking comes to mind.

[Axiomatic]

Jeff, it's hypocrisy because THEY are the ones wailing about violent games and then making games that are also violent, but serve their agenda.

GTA does not pretend to be something it's not. Like a dispenser of high morality.

[cjmr's husband]

No hypocracy necessary. I've never played GTA, and consider the greatest videogame of all time to be Pac-Man.

There is room for violent videogames (Lego Star Wars is a blast) but anyone who feels the need to write the real soul-crushers like GTA and LB should seek professional help.

[cjmr's husband]

Hypocracy: Rule by hypocrites. See also: Congress

[Jon H]

Fred!

You should do that for real!

There's a progam called "Inform", which is a slick, free GUI tool for making modern interactive fiction games. Version 7 is out now, for Windows and OS X.

I'm sure the parser is significantly more advanced than the old Infocom parser was.

[sdf (Stu)]

It's telling that you are living through "interesting times" when parody (the Simpsons) actually _anticipates_ that which it is satirizing.

And I played Zork on the Apple II+ (IIRC there was also Zork II, III, IV, etc.). Never finished it though. "Twas too young and impatient (10 or 11), and soon after that Ultima II came out, and holy moly we had graphics. [Actually, I recall an intermediate step, something called Wilderness Adventure or something like that]

[Dahne]

I defy anyone who categorizes all games as being in the vein of GTA to play Katamari Damacy.

Na naaa, nanaNAnana na na, katamari damashiii~...