L.B.: Dissipation

Left Behind, pp. 332-337

When last we saw Buck Williams, he was rushing off to the airport to meet Hattie Durham even though he doesn't really even remember what she looks like. He remembers that she is "drop dead gorgeous," but nothing more specific.

It's hard to fault Buck for this fuzzy mental image, since that three-word cliche is nearly all we readers were told about what Hattie looks like. We've also been told she is "attractive" and "beautiful," but beyond that nothing. It's possible this tells us something about the authors' idea of female beauty. Maybe they think all beautiful women look alike, or that "gorgeous" women are all interchangeable. Or maybe they think "hot or not" is all that matters when describing a woman. Then again, we don't really know what Buck, Rayford, Bruce, Steve or Rosenzweig looks like either.

Here was the last thing we read in the Buck story line:

Buck was glad for the diversion of seeing Hattie Durham. His only question now was whether he would recognize her. They had met under most traumatic circumstances.

And here is the very first thing we read when this story line resumes:

Hattie had rushed up to Buck when he arrived at the club around 11. His anticipation of any possibilities dissipated when the first thing out of her mouth was, "So, am I gonna get to meet Nicolae Carpathia?"

So we still don't know, and Buck still doesn't care, what she looks like. And once Buck's "anticipation of any possibilities dissipated," he seems to lose all interest in her. I do love that phrase, though. It sounds like something from a pharmaceutical ad: "If anticipation of possibilities fails to dissipate within four hours, see your doctor."

Once Buck's anticipation shrivels, so too does his opinion of Hattie, and it suddenly occurs to him how strange it was of him to offer to introduce this flight attendant he barely knows to the president of Romania, with whom he is only slightly better acquainted (though I suppose collaborating on the coverup of two murders does give Buck and Nicolae a kind of intimate bond). He was eager to boast that he was chummy with the Sexiest Antichrist Alive when he thought this might lead to "possibilities" with Hattie, but once he realizes she's more interested in possibilities with the Gatsby-look-alike political rock star, he tries to weasel out of it:

When Buck had originally promised to try to introduce her to Nicolae, he hadn't thought it through. Now, after hearing Steve rhapsodize about the prominence of Carpathia, he felt trivial calling to ask if he could introduce a friend, a fan. He called Dr. Rosenzweig, "Doc, I feel kinda stupid about this, and maybe you should just say no, that he's too busy. I know he's got a lot on his plate and this girl is no one he needs to meet."

"It's a girl?"

"Well, a young woman. She's a flight attendant."

"You want him to meet a flight attendant?"

Buck didn't know what to say. That reaction was exactly what he had feared. When he hesitated, he heard Rosenzweig cover the phone and call out for Carpathia. "Doc, no! Don't ask him!"

As much fun as it is to watch our cocksure protagonist squirm like this, the whole scene is still deeply odd and contrived. None of this would be happening if Plank, Stonagal, Nicolae, President Fitzhugh or the authors had any idea how to go about their jobs. Carpathia is supposed to be the toast of the town in New York and Hattie can't be the only "fan" or social climber desperate to meet him. You'd think, then, that somebody -- his new press secretary, his influential banker-patron, the president who invited this fellow head-of-state to stay at the White House -- would be arranging some kind of formal reception at which people might actually be able to meet him without showing up, unannounced, at his hotel suite during the middle of a week day. Buck could have invited Hattie as his guest -- a less awkward situation all around as well as a somewhat classier attempt by Buck to pursue his possibilities with Hattie the Hottie. But Buck, Hattie and the authors all lack the patience for such normal behavior. They're all determined to pursue their various agendas now, so instead we end up with this weird little scenario.

Rosenzweig came back on and said, "Nicolae says that any friend of yours is a friend of his. He has a few moments, but only a few moments, right now."

Buck and Hattie rushed to the Plaza in a cab. Buck realized immediately how awkward he felt and how much worse he was about to feel. Whatever reputation he enjoyed with Rosenzweig and Carpathia as an international journalist would forever be marred. He would be known as the hanger-on who dragged a groupie up to shake hands with Nicolae.

No sooner has Buck dismissively characterized Hattie as a "groupie" than we get a page of dialogue intended mainly to portray Hattie as pushy and overly forward. This section of the book follows Buck's perspective amd it's hard not to read this as another example of how jet-setting international writer Buck Williams is a transparent Mary-Sue stand-in for author Jerry Jenkins. Once Hattie makes it clear that Buck/Jenkins has no "possibilities" with her, she is portrayed as a groupie/slut/bitch. It must be thoroughly, um, disippating for Jenkins to experience such rejection from a fictional female that he created.

Here again we should probably try to entertain the possibility that the authors are attempting some subtle form of unreliable narration. Buck, after all, has not yet said the magic words, so he remains a degenerate sinner. Maybe this whole scene is meant to illustrate that Buck's attitude and actions here are, in fact, sinful. Maybe this is a sophisticated attempt to show that Buck's misogyny borne of rejection and his self-centered refusal to see Hattie as valuable apart from her potential as a sexual conquest are evidence of his bad behavior, not hers.

Would that it were so, but unfortunately that interpretation contradicts everything else these books these books have to say about women and men. Every attitude expressed by Buck here -- his condescending exploitation, his bitter, spiteful frustration -- is reinforced later in the book or the series by born-again characters intended to be perceived as wholly reliable narrators. Hattie refuses to be merely a sexless and submissive helpmeet, so she is condemned as a slut. These are, in the world of Left Behind, binary options for women.

In the hallway Hattie stopped by a mirror and checked her face. A bodyguard opened the door, nodded at Buck, and looked Hattie over from head to toe. She ignored him, craning her neck to find Carpathia. Dr. Rosenzweig emerged from the parlor. "Cameron," he said, "a moment please."

Buck excused himself from Hattie, who looked none too pleased. Rosenzweig pulled him aside and whispered, "He wonders if you could join him alone first?"

There follows a bit of less-than-intriguing intrigue between Buck and Nicolae, which we'll get back to later. Their conversation ends with Buck saying:

"I just wanted to apologize for bringing this girl up to meet you. She's just a flight attendant, and --"

"Nobody is just anything," he said, taking Buck's arm. "Everyone is of equal value, regardless of their station."

Carpathia led Buck to the door, insisting he be introduced. Hattie was appropriate and reserved, though she giggled when Carpathia kissed her on each cheek. He asked her about herself, her family, her job. Buck wondered if he had ever taken a Carnegie course on how to win friends and influence people.

If we can trust Buck's "Carnegie" quip, then perhaps there was something too-slick and salesmanlike about Carpathia's conversation with Hattie. Even so, the contrast between this encounter and her recent conversations with Rayford is remarkable. Even if it's only feigned, Nicolae expresses an interest in her as a person; Rayford just held the phone at arm's length, rolling his eyes and waiting for her to stop boring him with talk about her family and her fears so that he could invite her over for a sermon. Nicolae concludes the conversation by shaking hands with Hattie, kissing her hand and saying "Miss Durham, it shall be my pleasure should our paths cross again." That's more courtesy and affection than Rayford displayed in all the years of his non-affair.

Buck ushered her out and found her nearly overcome. "Some guy, huh?" he said.

"He gave me his number!" she said, nearly squealing.

"His number?"

Hattie showed Buck the business card Nicolae had handed her. It showed his title as president of the Republic of Romania, but his address was not Bucharest as one would expect. It was the Plaza Hotel, his suite number, phone number, and all. Buck was speechless. Carpathia had penciled in another phone number, not at the Plaza, but also in New York. Buck memorized it.

Buck's two-pronged jealousy here invites another round of Buck/Nicolae slash, but apart from the easy jokes, it also reminds me of another story that illustrates what this rise-of-the-Antichrist tale might have been in the hands of more capable writers. This trio of Nicolae, Buck and Hattie reminds me of the trio of Willie Stark, Jack Burden and Anne Stanton at the center of All the King's Men. That tragedy of hubris and the seduction of power could have provided a template for this story, but LaHaye and Jenkins aren't interested in tragedy because they're not interested in humanity and the choices we humans make.

"We can eat at the Pan-Con Club," Hattie said.

Every time she says that, I think of the Kit Kat Club and then I get this mental image of the Pan-Con Girls doing the Fosse choreography to "Don't Tell Mama." Come to think of it, Cabaret could also have served as a template for this rise-of-the-Antichrist story (complete, again, with a Buck/Burden writer-as-narrator figure). But that, again, would have required an appreciation for tragedy -- and despite some similarities, Hattie Durham is no Sally Bowles.

"I don't really want to see this pilot at one, but I think I will, just to brag about meeting Nicolae."

"Oh, now it's Nicolae, is it?" Buck managed, still shaken by Carpathia's business card. "Trying to make someone jealous?"

"Something like that," she said.

All this business about business cards and phone numbers suddenly reminds Buck of what book he's in.

"Would you excuse me a second?" he said. "I need to make a call ..."

Comments

[cjmr's husband]

Warning: LB may cause Anticipation Shrinkage

[Rozzen]

Wooohooo !
Okay, I'll go read the post now.

[Geds]

I'm assuming they are trying to go with some sort of antichrist as smooth operator, as opposed to Rayford's agonized attempts at a real, genuine relationship with Hattie's, um, soul. That's why we keep getting Ray's inner agony splayed across our collective consciousness.

It's kind of funny that the evil antichrist can be represented as saying all people are equal and valuable when the angelic good guys are busy attempting to use them for eternity points or whatever. It's often a good idea to make your megalomaniacal evil character less human and less good than the good guys.

At least if you're attempting to play it straight on the good v. evil theme...

[rampancy]

A few weeks ago, at a friend's house, I watched a "Christian film" about alien abductions (which also, curiously, heavily involved a reporter) that ended up with a Left Behind-style Rapture sequence. I'll reserve any commentary about the film itself but I will say that it's interesting how they chose to portray the visible antagonist, the stereotypical Dawkinsian "Obnoxious, Smug Atheist", with a foreign accent to boot.

This film, and some of the things I've read both on this post and other LB Fridays posts really have raised in my mind how a lot of Christians seem to view the outside world and the people in it. I suppose that yes, more than a few Christians out there really do have a two-dimensional idea who and what non-Christians are. It's sad I think, because it's that two dimensionality which is what leads to the syndrome of arrogance and hate that I've seen all too often in my fellow Christians...

But even more interesting are the thoughts of Buck when he meets Hattie. Are there any other friendships in this book between non-Christian or non-RTC/PMD men and women which *aren't* depicted as subtle, nefarious covers for lustful ulterior motives? I've had more than a few arguments with (female) Christian friends of mine who are so paranoid at the idea of a friendship with a man actually being a prelude to said man wanting to get into her pants they they've almost been obsessed with the idea of my actual intentions of wanting to be friends with them (which are actually genuine!) actually a cover for me, er, wanting to get into their pants. Which is just patently absurd.

Ironically, it's an almost Catholic way of thinking (in my experience) regarding relationships between men and women. "Oh, sorry, I can't be your friend, you're a guy and I'm a girl, and that would lead to temptation and moral impurity..."

I really don't know why I bother. If anything, it's reminded me of the reasons why I'd never want to be in a relationship with any of the Christian girls where I'm at, much less marry them.

[Spalanzani]

So not only is the Anti-Christ a peacemaker, he’s also an egalitarian and at least not blatantly misogynist. Our protagonists, of course, are none of those things. If they really are supposed to be everymen and not just Mary Sues, are we to assume that most people (or at least most men) in the world of Left Behind are just like them?

Maybe the reason that Nicky is so popular is that, despite his weird idiot-savant trivia fetish, he’s still not nearly as big a jackass as everybody else.

Could you imagine the mancrush Matthews would have for Carpathia? The authors should rewrite the book just to include a passage of him gushing. I'll bet he has shoulders like Romney and smells as manly as Thompson.
But that would probably make them uncomfortable what with reliving the Bush of the carrier deck moment.

[cjmr's husband]

Rampancy: You apparently haven't had a good experience of "an almost Catholic way of thinking".

[Robb]

Maybe the reason that Nicky is so popular is that, despite his weird idiot-savant trivia fetish, he’s still not nearly as big a jackass as everybody else.

Of course not! It's because he's so good looking.

[Vermic]

Whatever reputation he enjoyed with Rosenzweig and Carpathia as an international journalist would forever be marred. He would be known as the hanger-on who dragged a groupie up to shake hands with Nicolae.

If he's lucky. It's far more likely that Buck will be seen as the pimp who provides hookers for the visiting head of state -- because that's exactly what this whole situation looks like. No observer (except us readers, who have the benefit of omniscience) would imagine that the random drop-dead-gorgeous babe being escorted into President Nicky's hotel room had been brought there to shake hands. The whole setup just drips of sleaze, somehow.

[chaos_engineer]

This section was of course completely unbelievable. In the real world, Buck would have said, "We're not going to be able to get an appointment with Mr. Carpathia on such short notice. But I can introduce you to Dr. Chaim Rosenzweig, the Nobel-prize winning biochemist. He's in charge of Mr. Carpathia's schedule and he'll probably book an appointment for you sometime next week."

[Rozzen]

Not that in the real world a Nobel-prize winning biochemist would play secretary to the president of Romania.

[Vermic]

This meeting was clearly made possible only by the fact that Buck, Hattie, Nicolae and Chaim all know they're main characters in a book, and therefore it's expected that they'd all hang out together.

[--susan]

"Everyone is of equal value, regardless of their station."

Ahhhh! Commie pinko antichrist!!!

[mel-anon]

So not only is the Anti-Christ a peacemaker, he’s also an egalitarian and at least not blatantly misogynist.

I figured that "equal value" bit was L&J blunt-force subtlety for "Communist." Given LeHaye's Bircher roots, I'm surprised it's taken this long to get there (Of course, it was once received wisdom among PMD's that the antichrist would emerge from the Soviet bloc, so perhaps he'd rather not remind anyone of that little blooper.)

[Robb]

RE: Hattie as "drop-dead-gorgeous babe"

I'm sorry, I can't begin to imagine Hattie as a babe. At best, I conjure mental images of a drab looking girl in a uniform, who may be hot if dressed otherwise, but there's just something so distinctly anti-sexy about the name Hattie. Hattie, in my mind, looks like a Jack Chick tract representation of a "hot" girl, as opposed to an actual hot girl like Anne Hathaway.

I thought Fred's right to assume that Hattie Durham isn't the only skank to want to hang around Nicky's pad, and what would it look like when Chaim brings in the flight attendent to meet the others?

"Amber, Michelle, Kristen, Rochelle - this is Hattie."

Which then produces a flurry of whispers
"omgwhatkindofnameishattieithinkmygrandmothersnamewashattie"
"Kristen, didn't you wear shoes like that at that office job you had?" "Ugh - No, mine were made this century"
"WHAT is she trying to pull wearing that uniform? Her legs are just so. . . non descript."

If they were nice (and they probably would be at least a little, being Nicky Groupies), one of them would try to engage in awkward conversation to break the ice.

[Spalanzani]

To expand on my previous comment a little, I think Nicky Cantthinkofagoddammountainrange might not be relying on his Anti-Christ mojo as much as we think he is. Throughout the book we’ve seen characters repeatedly react to Nicky like he was the sexiest, most charming man alive, even though every time he actually speaks it becomes apparent that he could barely pass the Turing Test. In order to justify this within the confines of the Left Behind world (that is, to not just chalk it up to LeHaye and Jenkins sucking, even though that’s probably the correct explanation) the common assumption has been that Nicky must be using some form of mind control or hypnosis on people.

Instead, I think the reason the people in Left Behind find him so charming is because compared to everyone else in their world, he really is charming. Looking at Rayform and Buck, this certainly seems probable. Basically, if you’re living on the Planet of the Extremely Creepy Weirdoes, and suddenly somebody comes along who’s only a moderately creepy weirdo, that guy would look like Prince Charming. To us readers on Earth, though, it just looks like a bunch of creepy weirdoes gushing on about another creepy weirdo. It’s a problem of different perspectives.

There’s gotta be about a thousand Sci-Fi or fantasy references that would be appropriate here, but strangely none come immediately to mind.

[Vermic]

So what you're saying is, in the land of the weird, the man with one personality disorder is king.

[Rozzen]

I'm sorry, I can't begin to imagine Hattie as a babe. At best, I conjure mental images of a drab looking girl in a uniform, who may be hot if dressed otherwise, but there's just something so distinctly anti-sexy about the name Hattie. Hattie, in my mind, looks like a Jack Chick tract representation of a "hot" girl, as opposed to an actual hot girl like Anne Hathaway.

I agree. Also, she's a brunette. Every time she's described as blond I have a little mental-picture-shift shock.

[Salamanda]

All this business about business cards and phone numbers suddenly reminds Buck of what book he's in.

*Snnnrk!* XD

rampancy: I've had more than a few arguments with (female) Christian friends of mine who are so paranoid at the idea of a friendship with a man actually being a prelude to said man wanting to get into her pants they they've almost been obsessed with the idea of my actual intentions of wanting to be friends with them (which are actually genuine!) actually a cover for me, er, wanting to get into their pants. Which is just patently absurd.

...in my pants! Oh wait, wrong thread.

Seriously, though, I was once in an accountability group* with a girl like that. Still a friend of mine, but GOD, even in my most gung-ho of purity ring days I thought she needed to lighten the hell up...(Note: she eventually did. I think most of us do.) But it wasn't entirely her fault, I'd say. The male/female friendships at our church, even the truly, truly just-friends ones, tended to draw a lot of suspicion and flak for quite a while. And let's not get on the subject of actual dating relationships themselves...

*Oh my God! One of THOSE! Yes, yes, it's true... and while they're not ALL as bad as people here have described, some of those descriptions have been spot-on.

[Spalanzani]

Vermic "So what you're saying is, in the land of the weird, the man with one personality disorder is king."

Basically, yeah.

Me: "Looking at Rayform and Buck, this certainly seems probable ."

A-hem: Looking at Rayford and Buck, this certainly seems plausible .

"Rayform" may actually be a better name for him. There are lifeforms, and then there are rayforms!

[Robb]

in the land of the weird, the man with one personality disorder is king.

R
O
F
L

[Salamanda]

Robb: Hattie, in my mind, looks like a Jack Chick tract representation of a "hot" girl, as opposed to an actual hot girl like Anne Hathaway.

Come to think of it, I always pictured her kinda like Mary-Anne, Balki's flight-stewardess girlfriend from Perfect Strangers. Complete with the big 80's perm.

[Thlayli]

[T]hat three-word cliche is nearly all we readers were told about what Hattie looks like. We've also been told she is "attractive" and "beautiful," but beyond that nothing.

We were told she weighs 115 pounds.

[bellatrys]

Rampancy: You apparently haven't had a good experience of "an almost Catholic way of thinking".

Posted by: cjmr's husband

No, he left out the bit about how "it won't happen if we pray a lot, even if we're alone together necking at 2am" and "oops - but we only sinned ONCE! And it'll be okay 'cause we're getting married soon!" - both RL examples from the Monaghan-sponsored Catholic academic setting.

Those were liberal extremists, comparatively speaking, though. Arranged dating-w/intent-to-marry was the *respectable* and normative situation at Steubenville, at least it was 15 years ago. And don't get me started on the Catholic Modesty thing...

[aunursa]

Hattie refuses to be merely a sexless and submissive helpmeet, so she is condemned as a slut. These are, in the world of Left Behind, binary options for women.

Everything in the world of Left Behind can be reduced to binary options.

[thread hijack attempt follows]

Except the option of choosing the side of Jesus or the side of the Antichrist. By about the fourth book, we are told that most of the world's remaining population have chosen either the side of Good or the side of Evil. Only a few holdouts (e.g. Orthodox Jews, Muslims, militia-types) remain; this statement is made in every succeeding volume. Yet strangely most of the later books feature an event that results in the conversion of thousands or millions of people to Christianity.

[Keith]

In a well written novel, it would be at least plausible for Buck to take little ol' Hattie to a state dinner as his date so that she could meet the super hunk, Nick of the Mountains, and so Buck could use her as a distraction while he does some nosing around. Instead, this being LB, he makes a phone call. To a Nobel Physicist. Because when I'm trying to be a super sleuth reporter and make time with a girl, the first person I think of calling for advice is Niels Bohr. But only after I get Albert Einstein's voice mail.

And then instead, he decides to put on his pimp hat and just take her around to the man's hotel room. Next time on the Amazing Adventures of Buck "Iceburg Slim" Williams...

[Robb]

an event that results in the conversion of thousands or millions of people

I love how precise L&J are - These guys are totally committed to the facts. I'm talkin' Jeff Albertson* committed.

*C'mon, don't pretend you don't know who that is.

[mmack]

Buck was glad for the diversion of seeing Hattie Durham. His only question now was whether he would recognize her. They had met under most traumatic circumstances.

I'd say being two poorly written stock characters in a schlock science fiction/Christian novel written by two talentless hacks would be a traumatic set of circumstances for any fictional people to meet under.

[mmack]

Once Buck's anticipation shrivels

I'm betting that wasn't the only thing that shriveled, Fred m'boy.

;^)

[Ken]

He remembers that she is "drop dead gorgeous," but nothing more specific. It's hard to fault Buck for this fuzzy mental image, since that three-word cliche is nearly all we readers were told about what Hattie looks like. We've also been told she is "attractive" and "beautiful," but beyond that nothing. It's possible this tells us something about the authors' idea of female beauty. -- Slacktivist

More likely it just tells us Buck Jenkins does some really bad hack writing.

Contemporary readers won't sit still for the long character-description infodumps of Victorian-era fiction (Dickens described major characters down to the last gravy stain on their waistcoat), but Buck Jenkins here takes the completely opposite tack and gives us no physical description at all of Hattie the Hottie except others' drooling over her in their one-to-three-word descriptions. (Which in itself could be a good device -- I remember it being used in classic Hollywood sex comedies -- but this is Christian Apocalyptic/theological technothriller.)

Or maybe, since this is an attempt at a theological technothriller, the descriptions of the characters play second fiddle to descriptions of the hardware (in this case, theology/prophecy interpretation).

Not describing a character at all (or just giving us a three-word description) makes sense if it's a minor walk-on character or first-person viewpoint character. With first-person viewpoint, not having a pre-existing character description allows the reader to get into the viewpoint; surveys have shown that the reader in such circumstances describes the viewpoint character as resembling themselves.

And check off another plot point:

"115-lb Drop Dead Gorgeous, meet Romania's Robert Redford.
Romania's Robert Redford, Drop Dead Gorgeous.
Whore of Babylon, Beast.
Beast, Whore of Babylon."
(Cut to phone call for idiot conversation about how what just happened fulfills such-and-such chapter-and-verse.)

Argh, that's awful.

[pepperjackcandy]

I'm going to be laughing about the "anticipation of possibilities" thing for the rest of the day.

[Ken]

This meeting was clearly made possible only by the fact that Buck, Hattie, Nicolae and Chaim all know they're main characters in a book, and therefore it's expected that they'd all hang out together. -- Vermic

Every Dungeonmaster has that problem once the characters are rolled and the first game session begins: How did all these antisocial sociopath player-characters ever come together in the first place and become a dungeon-crawling D&D party? "You're all hanging out in the local tavern..."

[mmack]

Let's go over the facts with Nicky Sierra Nevada:

He's a head of government staying in a hotel in New York
He has women who are just dying to meet him
He has minions and underlings to bring female admirers to his hotel
When he meets a female admirer he kisses her, charms her, focuses his attention on her, makes her feel like she's the focus of ALL his attention
Underneath his folksy veneer is a heart of pure evil

OH

MY

GOD!

Satan is . . . . BILL CLINTON!!!

Call Bill O'Reilly and Rush Limbaugh!!!!!!! :^)

[Dan]

First - and I truly am curious about this - do state leaders actually carry business cards with their job title? Does GWB hand out business cards that say "President of the United States Of America"? I could see that North Korean dictator guy doing it, trying to impress everybody. "Here's my card. See? It says I'm dictator of a country. A whole country! I'm dictator! See! It says so here!" It just seems a little weird.

Second, I do have to give the authors credit here. They are dancing a very thin line. Their audience would become outraged and incensed if they found any evidence of S-E-X in the books. For L@J to physically describe this woman, and do it honestly, they might have to mention Unmentionable Body Parts. Plus, they might lead all the men reading the books into lust, if they describe her too graphically. And wrt to Buck's dissipation of anticipation - if L&J had actually described what Buck was hoping, we'd be talking about all the book burnings being held down south. After all, that would be smutty! So at best they have to infer, and even that from a distance, because they have to somehow explain to us all the evil motives of people, without actually naming or describing those motives. Imagine the difficulty of writing sexual tension into a novel without being able to use words that embarrass easily, words like lust, desire, breast, perky, sensual, or Wankel rotary Engine.

[Tonio]

"I figured that 'equal value' bit was L&J blunt-force subtlety for 'Communist.'"

That was my suspicion as well. On another board, I was arguing a point with a fundamentalist Christian about intrinsic human worth. He said that Hitler believed in that principle. That was not only outrageous but also confusing - it sounded like he was invoking the old cliché about secular humanism allegedly placing man above God.

[Rozzen]

Satan is . . . . BILL CLINTON!!!

Given that PMD book I'd read one day (one from the 80s) where the author was certain the Antichrist was Gorbachev... I'm sure some people have thought that of Bill Clinton.

[Salamanda]

Ok, off topic, but I've just gotta ask...

pepperjackcandy, where DID you come up with that nickname? Because all I can think about is some sticky-sweet zesty cheese-chew. Please tell me it's not an old family recipe. :)

[aunursa]

Robb
an event that results in the conversion of thousands or millions of people

I love how precise L&J are - These guys are totally committed to the facts.

No, that one you can't blame L&J, but rather on my hurried writing. I was referring to the fact that an event in one book would result in thousands of conversions and an event in another book, perhaps a global broadcast, would result in millions of conversions.

[Salamanda]

Robb, I had to look up Jeff Albertson. I didn't know he had an actual name! I bow to your superior knowledge of Simpsons trivia.

*is not worthy!*

*is not worthy!*

[Rozzen]

For L@J to physically describe this woman, and do it honestly, they might have to mention Unmentionable Body Parts.

I doubt it. What Unmentionable Body Parts are you thinking of ? Outside of porn the only one I can think of are breasts, and again outside of nude scenes those never get described in any detail. Just the size, and maybe an adjective like 'perky'.
What would be Unmentionable about describing her hair and her face ? Even her silhouette if that's not too racy. It would make a perfectly acceptable description...

I just think that either Jenkins didn't think of it (his editor should have reminded him but it's quite clear Jenkins had no editor) or he was too lazy. Writing descriptions is annoying.
(well, I find it annoying so maybe he does too).

He said that Hitler believed in that principle.
Haha. Right, like that eugenist believed in intrinsic human worth. He certainly believed in differential value according to race, religion and abilities that's for sure.

[Ursula L]

I'm starting to suspect that these books were originally outlined as a script for a puppet show. In the Punch-and-Judy style, with everything both simplified and exagerated. It has about that level of character development and story cohesion.

[mcc]

"Everyone is of equal value, regardless of their station."

Ahhhh! Commie pinko antichrist!!!

Yeah, that was what I noticed too...

It would be very interesting to tally up every single position that the antichrist takes in this book, and try to figure out exactly how anti-christlike the philosophy you wind up with is...

"Hattie showed Buck the business card Nicolae had handed her. It showed his title as president of the Republic of Romania, but his address was not Bucharest as one would expect. It was the Plaza Hotel, his suite number, phone number, and all. Buck was speechless. Carpathia had penciled in another phone number, not at the Plaza, but also in New York. Buck memorized it."

Okay, now wait, this part almost works. After long periods of everyone inexplicably glossing over why the president of Romania seems to be ignoring Romania and hanging out on American TV, we're shown a sign that the president of Romania is intentionally ignoring Romania and rather sticking to being in New York and focusing on his target position at the U.N.-- and Buck correctly identifies that there is something fishy about this! It's as if there's actual writing going on!

[mmack]

This trio of Nicolae, Buck and Hattie reminds me of the trio of Willie Stark, Jack Burden and Anne Stanton at the center of All the King's Men. That tragedy of hubris and the seduction of power could have provided a template for this story, but LaHaye and Jenkins aren't interested in tragedy because they're not interested in humanity and the choices we humans make.

Fred, I just finished All the King's Men this past summer and there's not a chance in HELL I'd mention Willie, Jack, and Anne in the same breath as "Satan, The Hack, and the Harpie". I wouldn't even draw an equasion to Hattie = Sadie Burke, Willie's secretary\mistress.

"Buck" isn't 1/100th as self aware as Jack, couldn't do the kind of scud work that he did, and wouldn't be able to notice a moment of great self awakening if God hisownself zapped him in the ass with a lightning bolt, ala Saul on the road to Damascus.

Satan as Willie Stark? Willie was a machevellian opportunist, but even he wanted a tangible example of his worth (The State Hospital) left after he passed on. He understood that "out of badness could come goodness". Nicky Mountain Range isn't even one dimentional on that count.

And speaking of getting zapped in the ass with a lightning bolt, could God hit Tim and Jerry with a clue about writing? Maybe hit each of them them square in the forehead with a copy of Strunk and White's Elements of Style?

[Robb]

No, that one you can't blame L&J, but rather on my hurried writing. I was referring to the fact that an event in one book would result in thousands of conversions and an event in another book, perhaps a global broadcast, would result in millions of conversions.

I can & will blame them.
Perhaps you were a bit quick & sloppy in your reading & understanding the books - it happens to everyone. I can't recall ever reading a book & not having to stop at least once to re-read a paragraph or two because I didn't get it.

L&J, on the other hand, have consistently been beyond sloppy & irresponsible with their research and presentation of facts/continuity, as Fred has so excellently documented.

[tabigarasu]

If Buck had any reporting mojo, he might have done some fishing and realized that Nicky had no existence before he took the world by storm, a la Vivien Rook. Now *that* was an evil overlord/end of the world scenario I was willing to suspend disbelief for!

[hapax]

magine the difficulty of writing sexual tension into a novel without being able to use words that embarrass easily, words like lust, desire, breast, perky, sensual, or Wankel rotary Engine.

The sexiest piece of writing I have ever read was the description of a fully clothed woman, reading a letter, while peeling and eating an orange.

It isn't easy to write like that, mind you. But when I read a piece of so-called erotica that starts talking about pear-shaped breasts or heaving love rods, the last thing it creates is "sexual tension."

[Ian]

"Every time she says that, I think of the Kit Kat Club..."

"Wilkomen, Bienvennue, Welcome..."

"It would be very interesting to tally up every single position that the Antichrist takes in this book, and try to figure out exactly how anti-christlike the philosophy you wind up with is..."

I think that Carpathia speaks in favor of the following things throughout the series:

Abortion, Environmentalism, Gay Rights, Nuclear Disarmament, Social Justice, Ecumenicalism, Euthanasia, Gun Control, Organ Donation, and Evolution. Basically everything that the Fundangelicals despise.

And I do agree that Carpathia's remark that "everyone is of equal value, regardless of their station," is definitely meant to be a subtle sign of Communism. L&J definitely do NOT believe that everyone is of equal value! LaHaye said on 60 Minutes that homosexuals should be put to death. That's pretty much confirms that he regards gays as not just valueless, but of negative value.

Basically, L&J use Carpathia as their anti-mouthpiece, so to speak. If he supports an issue, it is a certain sign that the issue or policy is evil and anti-christian.

[Jeff]

"You want him to meet a flight attendant?"
She's just a flight attendant

Buck might remember that she's the one that let him cannibalize the air-phone so he could e-mail. Considering how much flying he does, you'd think he'd recognize how valuable people in this job are to him.

L&J certainly have a hierarchy of professions, don't they? (I wonder where talentless hack fits in?)

Buck memorized it.

Nice. All that sex conspiring, and his BFF wouldn't give Buck the Super-Secret BatCave Number. So he has to STEAL it from Hattie!