TypePad Vista

The word from Typepad is that I need to help "train" their new spam filter, by which they mean using their new tool that allows me to surf through everything the filter flags as spam, selecting all of the legitimate comments and republishing them while confirming the spamminess of all the actual spam and deleting those comments, screen by screen.

TypePad also reminded me that TPS reports now need to use the standard cover sheet. Apparently there was a memo.

The manual "training" of the spam filter, on this end, is very similar to the process of not having a spam filter at all. That's frustrating, but probably not as frustrating as how it looks on your end -- with loads of comments still being blocked more or less at random. I've been doing this "training" for the past 12 hours or so, and the filter is still flagging legitimate comments twice as often as it's capturing spam. And it's still not capturing all the spam. And, because the filter-editing tool is somewhat clumsy and sluggish, I think I may have accidentally ordered several shipments of generic cialis and opened an account at an offshore paypal casino.

And, most annoying of all, the filter editing tool only has two options: republish as legitimate or delete as spam. Thus "training" the filter requires that I force-publish all of the legitimate comments, lest the filter be accidentally "trained" to start rejecting them. The upshot there, as you've probably noticed, is lots of double- and triple-posts, which I'll try to go into the non-spam-comment editing tool and winnow out.

When I e-mailed TypePad to tell them that this "training the filter" process didn't seem to be working -- that, in fact, the filter was still blocking comments at a rate of 68-percent legit/32-percent spam -- their response was "Train harder."

Since this is Thursday, I should note the almost theological response we humans have to this kind of arbitrary system. We look for meaning and, if it cannot be found, we impose meaning. On my end, this produces something like the behavior one sees in a person who believes in the mechanical/magical efficacy of prayer (it's not doing anything -- I'll do it more and do it harder). The multitude of comments trapped in the filter, meanwhile, seem to be rehashing the dialogues of the book of Job, with several taking the Eliphaz/Bildad approach (I'm being punished, I must have sinned) and others following the counsel of Job's wife (curse TypePad and die). No one has yet taken the proto-Calvinist approach of young Elihu, arguing that all of our comments deserve to be deleted as spam and that if TypePad graciously allows some elect few to be published we ought to respond only with gratitude. Theology was once regarded as the Queen of the Sciences. If that strikes you as inappropriate, consider the theological scientific method at work in response to the seemingly arbitrary blocking of comments. We hypothesize that there is a reason or a meaning for why a given comment is blocked, and we experiment by resubmitting it with variations in an attempt to discern what those reasons and that meaning might be. Not the sort of thing one can measure with calipers, yet not wholly unscientific either.

On a normal Thursday, I'd expect the above rambling musing to prompt an entertaining flame-war here in comments. It probably still will, but thanks to the upgrade to TypePad Vista, those comments will be blocked, buffered, and force-published later in quadruplicate.

I apologize, again, for the inconvenience.

Comments

[Geds]

So, wait, does this mean that TypePad has actually become an actual real example of the Vending Machine God theorum I postulated a week or two ago? Because between the complete randomness and Fred's dead-on theology parallel, I'm kind of seeing the bizarre, random Vending Machine going on here...

[Bugmaster]

No, Typepad is more like AK's god. Ineffable, mysterious, and beyound all comprehension by those who do not believe, and by most of those who do...

[Jeff]

I've been doing this "training" for the past 12 hours or so, and the filter is still flagging legitimate comments twice as often as it's capturing spam. And it's still not capturing all the spam.

I think that means it's working. At least from Typepad's point of view! (Kickbacks from spammers? Nah!)

[Keith]

There's also the evolutionary approach: that it's a complex system, updated frequently over time to produce something that kind of works for now but will probably change later based on new developments and some of these changes are just kludges that resulted from random tweaks to systems that originally served other functions that are now defunct. Which means you spam filter is an appendix.

[cjmr's husband]

OK, so the rule is now, if it looks like it has been blocked, do nothing, Fred will unblock it. And you thought Scott was exaggerating the power of Fred Clark, Evangelical Blogger (TM).

And it is no longer necessary for me to advertise free rolexes to fool the spam blocker.

New rule tomorrow.

[Jeff]

I've been relaively free of "comment spam" grabs. I'm using Exploder 7 from a work site (I haven't posted much from home -- which is Firefox -- lately). Size of comments (in characters, words or paragraphs) doesn't seem to matter (although one "comment spam" post went through when I split it in two).

Very odd, and seemingly random.

[mmack]

TypePad also reminded me that TPS reports now need to use the standard cover sheet. Apparently there was a memo.

Sounds like somebody has a case of the Thursdays, Fred.

[mmack]

Oh Fred, I almost forgot. Ahh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and train the spam filter on Sunday, too...

[cjmr]

Good luck with the training. I've been training the spam filter on my email for at least three months now and it's still stuffing things in the spam filter from people who are in my address book, which it's supposedly not supposed to do.

[pepperjackcandy]

I've posted this: And, because the filter-editing tool is somewhat clumsy and sluggish, I think I may have accidentally ordered several shipments of generic cialis and opened an account at an offshore paypal casino. as a quote of the day in my lj.

I don't do this every day, but sometimes I find a particular turn of phrase that I just love and I have to post it.

I'm a Universalist, so I guess that I think there's something redeemable in even the worst sorts of spam?

[Steve]

Looks like you've been missing a lot of spam lately, Fred.

[mmack, filling in for Fred]

I wouldn't say I've been missing it Steve

[Nenya]

I've got an email account whose spam filter I've been training for...oh, years, now...that still sometimes mixes things up. Granted, those are usually private-message notifications from an online community I hang out at, and thus the addresses they come from are variable. GMail on the other hand, has maybe only once flagged real mail as spam, and I only get about one spam a week that's slipped through the folder. Hotmail's improving, but still has a ways go to.

Hope TypePad starts behaving before tomorrow so we can properly fillet the misdeeds of Ray/Buck/Chloe/Hattie/St Nick.

[mmack]

Hope TypePad starts behaving before tomorrow so we can properly fillet the misdeeds of Ray/Buck/Chloe/Hattie/St Nick.

Nenya, according to Geds, Bugmaster, et al, Typepad is "rapturing" our comments and leaving the posters behind.

Perhaps Jerry Jenkins is a TypePad coder on the side for extra $$$?

[Jesurgislac]

I've been "training" a spam filter on a bulletin board I run for nearly two years now. It still lets some spam through (and occasionally blocks legit comments).

Six Apart Sucks.

[Drak Pope]

I think we offer flesh sacrifices to the Almighty Typepad it will perhaps deign to allow our posts through. After all, is it not writ in the Book of Unix, 'Thou shalt honor thy browser and thy blog posting system, and by your blood exalt Their name, in recompense for allowing thine pointless, rambling, illogical commentary to be visible for all the world.' (Unix 42:666)?

[bulbul]

Good spam filter or bad spam filter?

[bulbul]

Good spam filter! Heel, boy! And if you bring back the ball, you can have the leftovers from Drak Pope's flesh sacrifices.

[Ian]

Samir: No, not again. I... why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to G-d, one of these days, I just kick this piece of s*** out the window.
Michael Bolton: You and me both, man. That thing is lucky I'm not armed.
Samir: Piece of s***.

[Richard Hershberger]

"I've been doing this "training" for the past 12 hours or so, and the filter is still flagging legitimate comments twice as often as it's capturing spam. And it's still not capturing all the spam."

I'd have to say that this training technique works splendidly. Now let's discuss who/what is the trainer, and who/what the trainee...

[RickRS]

So our comments/prayers to Sacktivist can only be heard by the interventions of Fred. Does this make Fred Pope of the Church of The Almightly Vending Machine God?

[MichaelR]

I assume there is no "this comment is spam that slipped through" option for anything anywhere, is there? It would be a good idea, so it's probably not implemented.

[MikeJ]

That quote above is NOT from the true book of unix. It had vowels.

[Spalanzani]

"I apologize, again, for the inconvenience."

Is this perhaps in reference to "We apologize for the inconvenience"? Which would mean that you're comparing yourself to God. I guess you never could get the hang of Thursdays.

[Mabus]

The spam filter has motivations of its own, of course, and it is absurd to imagine that it will submit blindly to our desires, granting whatever we ask of it. Sometimes it will agree with us, sometimes disagree. One might as well conclude that there is no Fred because he does not respond to every comment made. ;)

[cjmr]

Unfortunately, if it's even the least bit IP address based, that means it'll have to be retrained every time one of us who does not have a static IP address gets a new IP address.

Happy Birthday, BTW, Mabus!

[Dahne]

So that makes those of us who aren't being arbitrarily persecuted favorites?

I have pleased the spamblock gods!

[Sean K]

A TPS report joke, awesome.

Fred, I've spent the last couple of weeks mainlining the last three years of your blog, and before this post, I didn't think it was possible for me to love you and your spicy brain more than I already did.

I was wrong.

[Spalanzani]

You're all wrong. The Spam Filter really does block each and every spam, and allow each and every legitimate comment to be posted. It's only from our limited human perspective that there seem to be injustices. The Spam Filter alone is qualified to seperate the comments from the spam. For us to question or second-guess its judgement is nothing short of hubris. Spam hubris.

[Drak Pope]

I concur with Spalanzoni. Even now, in the longest, darkest night of this blog, we mustn't lose faith, faith in the Spam Filter and Its infinite wisdom and glory.

[Cowboy Diva]

there is a joke here somewhere about spam filters and deus ex machina, right?

[Jeff]

there is a joke here somewhere about spam filters and deus ex machina, right?

I think it's more along the lines of deus erat [those who know Latin, what the proper form of "is" here?] machina, meself.

[Ecks]

I have pleased the spamblock gods!

Now now, we know what pride cometh before, right?*

Anyway, I don't know what's with all the idiots trying to worship a big spam fairy in the sky. There's no observable evidence it exists, merely the not-so-sublimated desire to tell us all what to do I'm sure. I mean, seriously, some electromagnetic interference makes a few messages disappear, and sure it's freaky, sure our world will never be quite the same again, but all of a sudden this is "evidence"?... I'll believe in the spam filter when it writes its existence in 30 foot flaming letters across one of my posts.

* Your own talk show.

[Jesurgislac]

Many happy returns, Mabus!

If we worship the Spam Filter, perhaps it will eat us first?

[Johnny Pez]

If I can interrupt the spam talk . . .

The continuing adventure of Dr. Nicholas Ozark, scientist and hero, um, continues! Help, part 5 (of, currently, 7) of "The Ozark Effect" is now up on Right Behind.

(And the Filter Gods seemed pleased with "The Ozark Effect", since my own posts have made it through without any trouble.)

[Iorwerth Thomas]

Ia ia Spamfilterthulhu fthagn!

[Iorwerth Thomas]

Good grief, that actually got through...

I'll never mock the Spaminomicon again.

[MikeJ]

Mr. compassionate liberal(tm) wants to force his view of what is spam and what is not on everybody else. He should let the market decide.

[Spamthulhu]

I'll never mock the Spaminomicon again.
Too late. The ancient evils have awoken and must feed...

[Ecks]

and happy Bday Mabus. I cordially serve you spam, spam, spam, birthday cake, and spam, with a side of extra spam.

[Jeff]

Johnny -- I posted a comment -- hopefully some good advise...

[Iorwerth Thomas]

Too late. The ancient evils have awoken and must feed...

Arrrgh! I must now engage in an ornate narrative that keeps on going right up to the point that the unfathomable horror begins to chew on my leg!

[rizzo]

So, it's sorta like...kinda, when your Spam Filter was in school...it could have been maybe...Left Behind?

BAM!

On a lighter note, I'm off to form the Boolean sect of the Church of the All Mighty Spam Filter. Whose with me?

[Geds]

Boolean sect of the Church of the All Mighty Spam Filter. Whose with me?

Only if we get to persecute AOL users with their slaved keyword searches.

Also, did we basically just run the Thursday Flame War against the spam filter itself? Because, really, that would be awesome.

[Cowboy Diva]

boolean sect? is it an either/or kind of tradition, or both/and?

[Geds]

Holy crap. I didn't even have to CAPTCHA there. Is it because of Fred's tireless training or my switch to Ted, my home computer? (Don't ask why my home computer is named Ted. There is no explanation, unlike my Creative Zen Vision:M which is named "The Sixth" and my 60GB Zen Vision:W named "The Buddha.")

[Jeff]

Don't ask why my home computer is named Ted.

The one time I "named" a computer (as in "My Computer\Properties\Computer Name"), I picked 1-2-4-c-4-1. Silly, but a computer name should be!

[Sean K]

My iPhone's name is Ziggy, and my iPod nano's (3rd gen) name is Cursor. I can out-dork you all.

[oboy]

Boolean sect of the Church of the All Mighty Spam Filter. Whose with me?

Not I. And true-ly, thou worship Xor, a false god.

[Randy Owens]

Jeff:

I think it's more along the lines of deus erat [those who know Latin, what the proper form of "is" here?] machina, meself.

Deus est machina, FYI. "Erat" would be "was".

I'm going to have to excommunicate rizzo from the Bayesian sect now, of course. Stone the heretic!