Biblical names

The annual list of popular baby names from the Social Security Administration is chock full of biblical names on the boy's side -- 13 out of the top 20. Less so on the girl's side -- only six of the top 20.

Inspired by that imbalance, I present the following.

7 biblical women's names that deserve wider usage:

1. Tirzah. This name has never cracked the SSA's Top 1,000 list -- not even after it was used in the movie Ben Hur. That's a shame, because Tirzah was an impressive woman (see "Hoglah" below).

2. Jael. You meet plenty of people named after Mary, the other biblical character praised as "most blessed of women," but I've never met or even heard of anyone named after Jael. Maybe it's because the name translates, literally, as "mountain goat." Or maybe it's because "bad-ass" isn't what most parents are looking for in a name for their baby girl. Jael was bad-ass. She took out Sisera, the general in charge of the invading army:

Barak came by in pursuit of Sisera, and Jael went out to meet him. "Come," she said, "I will show you the man you're looking for." So he went in with her, and there lay Sisera with the tent peg through his temple -- dead.

Don't mess with Jael.

3. Deborah. If we're going to mention Jael, we also need to mention Deborah -- the other heroine of this story from the book of Judges, which is all about the men dithering and the women bailing them out with real courage and leadership (and tent pegs).

4. Sophia. This actually cracked the Top 10 last year for girl's names. It's a Greek name, but I've linked it there to Proverbs 8, which certainly wasn't written in Greek. That passage is a hymn in praise of Wisdom, which is what Sophia means, making it, arguably, a divine name, a name for an aspect of God.

5. Susanna. Steven Foster may have knocked this name out of favor by forcing a connotation of banjos on knees, but it's still a lovely name. Susanna was one of Jesus' earliest disciples and -- unlike those freeloaders Peter, James and John -- she paid her own way: "helping to support them out of their own means."

6. Phoebe. The NIV calls Phoebe a "servant" of the Roman church. Everywhere else that term is used it is translated "deacon," but the translators didn't like the idea of a woman as a deacon so, in this one case, they changed it to "servant," with a guilty footnote suggesting "or deaconess." That's a made-up word, too, "deacon-ess." The problem with the name nowadays is it's probably associated more with Friends than with the first-century church leader. (I liked Lisa Kudrow's wifty character, but that's not quite the set of connotations I'm looking for here.)

7. Priscilla. The translation games used to demote most of the female leaders (like Phoebe, above) in the early church didn't work with Priscilla since she's almost always mentioned as part of a tag-team with her husband, Aquila. They couldn't very well twist the translation to refer to both of them as "deaconesses" or some such. Paul regarded them, both of them, as his peers. Priscilla is also thought by some to be the author of the epistle to the Hebrews, which is as good a guess as any. The downside: Ever been to Graceland?

7 biblical women's names to avoid:

1. Leah. "Leah was not loved," the book of Genesis tells us. And she was horribly misused, treated as a pawn by her father and her husband. Even the translators of the New International Version pile on. "Leah had weak eyes," Gen. 29:17 says, although the footnote suggests that "weak" there might also be translated "delicate." But they just had to go with "weak," didn't they? That's how everybody treated Leah, poor woman. Leah is a beautiful name, but this is a pretty rough set of connotations to saddle your daughter with.

2. Jezebel. If they were casting a movie of the books of Kings, this is the part that every actress would want, but it's not a popular girls name for the same reason that Lady Macbeth is not a popular girls name.

3. Sapphira. She and her husband figured out a scheme that would let them keep much of their wealth while still reaping praise and credit for giving all of it away. The scheme didn't quite work out the way they planned. So not a great role model. Plus, you'd pretty much be dooming your daughter to work as an exotic dancer.

4. Gomer. I love the book of Hosea. I love the portrait it paints of God waiting patiently, singing Bonnie Raitt's "I Can't Make You Love Me," more saddened than wrathful. But poor Hosea and his wife, Gomer, wind up with miserable roles to play to illustrate this divine romance. Nobody is likely to name their daughter "Gomer," of course, because of Gomer Pyle, but you'd actually be better off naming your little girl after Jim Nabors than after the biblical Gomer.

5. Lo-Ruhammah. Hosea and Gomer's daughter's name means "not loved." Again, I love the book of Hosea, but wasn't there some way to make this point without dooming this poor girl to a lifetime of therapy?

6. Noah. (see below)

7. Hoglah. Noah and Hoglah were actually very cool, admirable women -- two of Zelophehad's three daughters who fought for -- and won -- women's right to inherit and own property a few millennia before Jane Austen. Unfortunately, Noah's a bit more famous as a boy's name, and Hoglah isn't terribly euphonious (suggesting unfortunate nicknames). We can honor their spirit through the name of their sister, Tirzah, who joined them in persuading Moses that denying them their rights just because they were women was indefensible.

Comments

[Ian]

Athaliah would be an interesting name for a baby girl.

On the plus side, it sounds good, and has not been overused. She was the only sovereign Queen of Judah -- no pushover, she.

On the downside, she notoriously purged pretty much the entire royal family to keep herself in power. She was eventually taken out in a coup led by the high priest, who put the lone survivor of the purge (7 year old Joash) on the throne.

An impressive queen with lots of blood on her hands who was executed in the stables -- certainly not a boring namesake.

[Gravity]

Dave, there was actually a freelove movement in New England around 1820-1860. Perhaps your ancestors were trying to "end the artificial relationships that tied the workingman to a commerce based on selfishness, the worshiper to bigotry and superstition, and the wife or husband to an unloving mate".

[Raka]

How about a name that's a terrible Biblical pun? My father, a former seminarian, is named "Rodney". He fought (successfully) to name me "Jesse" specifically so that I would be "the Jesse of Rod".

About 5% of you got that, but that 5% is hurting right now.

[Raka]

Izzy: one of those Brunching Shuttlecock-esque "My Little Pony or Porn Star" things

My favorite was the "Star Trek: The Next Generation Episode Title or Christian Rock Band Name?"

[Robb]

About 5% of you got that, but that 5% is hurting right now.

[groan] I got it. . .

[Keith]

But you really *could* do one of those Brunching Shuttlecock-esque "My Little Pony or Porn Star" things: Stripper or Pagan?

If I had a buck for every permutation of Raven I met during my days in the Wiccan/Pagan circles, well, let's just say my student loans wouldn't be an issue.

But can I win double points for a Wiccan Stripper named Raven, that's what I want to know.

[Karen]

My husband and I were talking about this at lunch. I collect names, so I'm extremely glad this thread popped up on a day I'm sick, silver lining and all that. He reminded me that the owner of the Exxon station in his hometown was one Phillip Mittank.

Steve's last name is pronounced "bowl," which is why our younger son's middle name is not Philip.

[Tonio]

My favorite was the "Star Trek: The Next Generation Episode Title or Christian Rock Band Name?"

Do you have a link?

[Sean K]

2. Jael. You meet plenty of people named after Mary, the other biblical character praised as "most blessed of women," but I've never met or even heard of anyone named after Jael.

My little eight month old niece is named Jael. Actually, she's named Jaelle, but that's because my sister and BiL wanted to feminize it a little, but they definitely named her after the Biblical Jael.

[Jake]

My dad claims to had twins in his school -- very conservative African American family of good Bible-reading stock -- named First Corinthians Hall and Second Corinthians Hall.

A character in Toni Morrison's Song of Solomon is called 1 Corinthians. She was named by the tradition of opening a Bible and naming your child the first thing your eye falls on. Does anyone know if this tradition actually exists? I feel it would lead to an unfortunate number (that is, any number greater than 0) of children named And, Because, and so on.

[cjmr]

About 5% of you got that, but that 5% is hurting right now.

Were you in the same room with me, I'd be lobbing throw pillows. That was awful!

[Steven S.]

And let us not forget H. Allen Smith, who brought us such biblical names as "Oh-Death-Where-Is-Thy-Sting-Question-Mark Schwartz"?

(always beloved by my uncle Mark.)

[Karen]

But can I win double points for a Wiccan Stripper named Raven, that's what I want to know.

Absolutely. The best either/or name I've ever seen, however, was Heaven Lee Love. The poor little girl has two career choices: televangelist or stripper.

[JessicaR]

Here's the link for Christian Metal Band or Star Trek Episode, it's great

http://www.brunching.com/metalortrek.html

[Karen]

Raka, while I bow to your father's mad pun skillz, I would be also be throwing things at you were you in the same room. Also, being that this a blog hosted by someone with a theological background, I'd say the percentage of people who get the pun is significantly higher than 5%. You'd be right in the real world, though.

[Richard Hershberger]

"some people I know who named their oldest son Jean Luc. Their last name was NOT French. At all."

The sad thing is when James Tiberias, who lives down the block, kicks his ass and gets the girl.

[Otter]

Izzy: ...Dad had a major thing for Thomas Hardy.

And he stumped for Bathsheba? I had a friend in college named Tamsin, and it was widely considered a very cool name. Your dad could have gotten his way if he'd branched out.

[Richard Hershberger]

"I don't recall where we had the discussion of "Kit" as an American first name,
It does seem like a fair number of men named Christopher are nicknamed "Kit"."

That's not just an American thing. It is an English thing. Christopher Marlowe, who didn't write Shakespeare's plays, was nicknamed Kit.

[Karen]

On Freelove, I vaguely recall reading that a movement in the 17th C among Puritans in favor of children picking their own spouses instead of parents arranging marriages was called Free Love. I can't remember the name of the book and I'm too timid to Googe "freelove," so I have no conformation of that, however.

[Victoria]

After reading The Red Tent, I really liked the name Dinah, but to spare the child unending misprnouncings, the spelling would need to be changed to something like "Deenah" for people to get it right.

[Izzy]

Otter: Tamsin is awesome. (I would also quite happily have taken "Tess.") Dad...is weird. And I think liked Far From the Madding Crowd and Return of the Native best; he was also going to name my sister Eustacia.

Meanwhile, I've read Tess and Return, and wanted to kill myself. But.

If I had a buck for every permutation of Raven I met during my days in the Wiccan/Pagan circles, well, let's just say my student loans wouldn't be an issue.

Dear God, yes. Raven and Ravyn and Ravenne...not to mention the various combinations. (Pagan Introduction Drinking Game: A shot for every mention of ravens, wolves, darkness, silver/crystal, or the moon/stars. Double shots for every combination.)

Seriously, this is what we get for having a religion which accepts converts with the greatest of ease, encourages name changes, and appeals to the TeenieGoth demographic. I swear, one of the reasons I was never active in pagan circles is that I would have to try and institute some sort of "No converting until you're twenty-one" policy.

[cjmr]

I really liked the name Dinah, but to spare the child unending misprnouncings, the spelling would need to be changed to something like "Deenah" for people to get it right.

Or Dina or Deena. There was a Dina in my fourth grade class and a Deena at my middle school.

[Toby]

Anna: ...Plato Socrates Smith (everyone in the community called him Bubba) ... Democritus Corley (nicknamed Scooter), Xenocrates Oswalt (pronounced 'zeno-krats', nicknamed Junebug), Diogenes Blackman (AKA Rhubarb), and my personal favorite: Thrasymachus Aristophenes Kneece (AKA Bo).

This is the awesomest thing I've heard in a long time.

[PurpleGirl]

The Google search terms I used: free love puritans marriage

Results were not horrendous at all; but Google said there were 801,000 of them. They are work safe.

[mmack]

I feel it would lead to an unfortunate number (that is, any number greater than 0) of children named And, Because, and so on.

Not to mention the pain of being named Fornicate Jones, Unclean Smith, Ephesians Brown, Leper Thomas, etc.

Although if you had twin boys, based on birth order First Timothy and Second Timothy might work . . .

[cjmr]

Actually, I wonder if that's how they named Stone Phillips?

[straight]

Lydia, oh Lydia, oh have you met Lydia? Lydia the tattooed lady? Maybe not.

I'm either too young or too old to get that reference.

Except for the eternal ones like Michael, names seem to go through a four-generation cycle:

1. Jennifer? That's a pretty name.
2. Linda? Everyone's named Linda.
3. Ruth? That sounds like somebody's mom.
4. Eleanor? That sounds like somebody's grandma.

20 years later...

1. Eleanor? That's a pretty name.
2. Jennifer? Everyone's named Jennifer.
3. Linda? That sounds like somebody's mom.
4. Ruth? That sounds like somebody's grandma.

[Raka]

Karen: The best either/or name I've ever seen, however, was Heaven Lee Love. The poor little girl has two career choices: televangelist or stripper.

Ideally, both. Simultaneously. It's a completely untapped market right now. We've got denominations that cater to the slothful, the prideful, the wrathful, the gluttonous, the greedy, and the envious. The lustful are tragically under-served.

[Jeff Weskamp]

Coolest Hebrew name from the Old Testament...

"Azmaveth." Not only does it sound cool, it means "strength through death." I had a D&D Necromancer character named Azmaveth, once.

[cjmr]

As famously sung by both Groucho Marx and Kermit the Frog:

Lydia oh Lydia, say have you met Lydia,
Lydia, the Tattooed Lady.
She has eyes that folks adore so,
And a torso even more so.

Lydia oh Lydia, that encyclopidia,
Oh Lydia the Queen of Tattoo.
On her back is the Battle of Waterloo.
Beside it the wreck of the Hesperus, too.
And proudly above waves the Red, White, and Blue,
You can learn a lot from Lydia.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la

When her robe is unfurled, she will show you the world,
If you step up and tell her where.
For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paris,
Or Washington crossing the Delaware.

La la la, la la la, la la la, la la la...

(rest of the lyrics here. And both versions are on YouTube.)

[Raka]

I feel [naming children based on a random Bible word] would lead to an unfortunate number (that is, any number greater than 0) of children named And, Because, and so on.
...
Not to mention the pain of being named Fornicate Jones, Unclean Smith, Ephesians Brown, Leper Thomas, etc.

On the other hand, Begat, Lo, Yea, and Thee (I assume we're sticking with the One True bible, the KJV) have a certain charm. And I think I might enjoy being LORD Surname. It might not work so well for Whore, Gnashing, Beast (if female), Ass, Pharisee (I dated a homophonic 'Farracy', come to think of it), Stoned, Shibboleth, Millstone, Meal-offering...

Oh, come up with your own.

[Jeff]

About 5% of you got that, but that 5% is hurting right now.

95% of me is very confused. 5% wants to make a "Red Sea" or "Spare the Rod" connection, but neither quite works.

'Splainy?

==============================

Meet Lydia, the Tattoed Lady. You'll be glad you did! (One of the Marx Bro's better songs.)

[hapax]

Coolest Hebrew name from the Old Testament...

When I was little, I had kittens named Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego.

[PurpleGirl]

Lydia, oh Lydia, oh have you met Lydia? Lydia the tattooed lady? Maybe not.
I'm either too young or too old to get that reference.

"Lydia" is a vaudeville era song, probably last sung by the late George Burns. If Lydia makes people think of the tattooed lady, do you want to be named Lydia?

[MikhailBorg]

If I had a buck for every permutation of Raven I met during my days in the Wiccan/Pagan circles, well, let's just say my student loans wouldn't be an issue.

I've known a few "Rhiannon"s over the years. Rarely has the acquaintance gone smoothly. (I keep having periods where I just can't listen to Stevie Nicks singing that song...)

[PurpleGirl]

Okay, my bad... but I'm hearing "Lydia" in Burns' voice in my head.

[Tonio]

Except for the eternal ones like Michael, names seem to go through a four-generation cycle:

I was suggesting earlier that the cycle seems to affect girls' names much more than boys' names.

I'm either too young or too old to get that reference.

"Remember, men, you're fighting for this woman's honor, which is probably more than she ever did!"

"Three men and one woman are trapped in a building! Send help at once! If you can't send help, send two more women!"

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."

[Jeff]

"Lydia" is a vaudeville era song, probably last sung by the late George Burns.

Youtube also has a video of Kermit singing it that post-dates Burns, I think. Marx is the best (and original, I believe).

=====================================

"One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I don't know."

About a month ago, there was a news story about a man in Africa whose bedroom had been invaded by a leopard. The headline was "Man Kills Leopard in His Pajamas" (I kid you not!)

[Tonio]

(I keep having periods where I just can't listen to Stevie Nicks singing that song...)

Do any of you know what the hell any of her songs are about? Even when she is singing someone else's lyrics ("Stop Dragging My Heart Around"), I can't understand her.

[hapax]

Also for a biblical books recommendation, Orson Scott Card has his Women of Genesis series.

Much better for meeting OT women would be Frankel's book of feminist midrash, ummm /googles madly/ The Five Books of Miriam. Dinah is one of her chief characters, along with Leah, Rachel, Lilith, Hagar, and, of course, Miriam.

[Karen]

Ideally, both. Simultaneously. It's a completely untapped market right now. We've got denominations that cater to the slothful, the prideful, the wrathful, the gluttonous, the greedy, and the envious. The lustful are tragically under-served.

I wish I were in a position to suggest this to her, as it would be completely awesome. Little HL's mom was quite attractive, so if she takes after mom she certainly meets the basic test.

hapax, when I was a kid I also owned pet kittens named after the Hebrew Children, too!! We had a neighbor who named her orange tabby cat Nebucanezzer in response.

[alfgifu]

It's a bit third-hand, but I knew someone who knew a family surnamed Warrior - the cruel, cruel parents called their sons Norman and Roman. (I'd be tempted to go for 'Martin the' - not that many people would get it).

It was amusing when my friend Katie Potter's parents decided to name her little brother Harry, but not as bad as it could have been - Potter was her mum's maiden name and the whole family in the end went with the dad's surname, Guest.

Any chance of researching Dad's family tree runs into trouble because of the tradition of having a William in every generation - and since the surname is Wallace, that makes googling names a bit pointless.

[Augustine]

Heaven Lee Love. The poor little girl has two career choices: televangelist or stripper.
Ideally, both. Simultaneously. It's a completely untapped market right now. We've got denominations that cater to the slothful, the prideful, the wrathful, the gluttonous, the greedy, and the envious. The lustful are tragically under-served.

Awesome, awesome, awesome.

[hapax]

I'd be tempted to go for 'Martin the' - not that many people would get it

I would. But I'd go for Rhodes, meownself...

[Raka]

Jeff:95% of me is very confused. 5% wants to make a "Red Sea" or "Spare the Rod" connection, but neither quite works.

'Splainy?

I warn you, it's lame. "The Rod of Jesse" is an unnecessarily flowery way of saying "descended from King David", and was used in prophecy to refer to the Messiah. Part of the proof of Jesus's messaihness (messiahtude? messiocity? M-level?) was that he was of "the rod of Jesse".

My father, being a compulsive punner, saddled me with an androgynous hick-name just so he could refer to me as "the Jesse of Rod". No Messianic implications intended, so far as I know.

I don't know why cjmr and Karen are threatening to throw things at me, though. I don't recall being consulted on the naming-decision. As memory serves, I was a bit busy at the time, what with the gestating and all.

[Technomad]

And then there's all the fun you can have with slightly-educated people playing with Classical names...does anybody else remember the Homer Price books? One thing I always noticed about that nowhere town in the middle of Ohio was that everybody (at least except the town drunk, Dulcey Dooner) had a Greek classical name.

It could have been worse, though. Imagine having to go through life with a name like Caligula Jones. But then, Nero Wolfe managed to do all right...

If I were malicious, I'd think it was very funny to get some new parents to name their little daughter "Messalina."

[Dave]

One of my new twins is named Tabitha Rose, after the Biblical seamstress and Sam Gamgee's wife. The other is Miranda Eowyn, after Prospero's daughter and the shield-maiden of Rohan. We liked Bible and Shakespeare names a lot, but it was hard to come up with two really solid ones.

If they were boys, they would have been Nathan Atticus and Samuel Bailey, after the prophets and the characters from To Kill A Mockingbird and It's A Wonderful Life, respectively.

[Karen]

Dave, I like Tabitha Rose. Raka, we're throwing pillows at you because your father isn't available. You're right though, he deserves the pillows, not you.

[Tonio]

If I were malicious, I'd think it was very funny to get some new parents to name their little daughter "Messalina."

...and their little son "Loggins"?

I hear about some conservative Christians naming their four sons Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. How about John, Paul, George, and (wait for it) Richard? Or to be really esoteric, Leonard, Arthur, Julius, and Herbert?

[Karen]

Tonio, I once worked with a woman who had a son named Nicholas and was pregnant with a daughter she badly wanted to name Alexandra. Despite her expensive prep school and private college education, she didn't know why all the rest of us tried to talk her out of using that name.