L.B.: Educational filmstrip

Left Behind, pp. 400-409

An alternative interpretation of these pages ...

How to Handle a Stalker

You meet someone at a dinner party in a city far from home. He seems pleasant, normal enough. You depart on friendly terms, telling him to give you a call if he's ever in your part of the country.

The next morning you learn that he has booked a flight to your city. More than that, he has booked a seat on the very same flight you are taking home and, telling the airline that he is your traveling companion, has arranged for the seat next to yours. What should you do? How should you handle this aggressive, frightening development and this man's increasingly disturbing advances?

In this educational filmstrip, we'll watch as our young subject -- let's call her "Chloe" -- attempts a variety of strategies for coping with her stalker. We'll call him "Buck."

Boop. Please advance the filmstrip now.

1. Ignore him and hope he takes the hint.

Do not make eye contact and do not initiate conversation. Use body language to reassert the personal boundaries your stalker is attempting to disregard.

Buck waited until everyone else had boarded. As he approached his seat next to Chloe, her body was turned toward the window, arms crossed, chin in her hand. Whether she even had her eyes open, Buck couldn't tell. He assumed she would turn to glance as he sat next to her, and he couldn't suppress a smile, anticipating her reaction and only slightly worried that she would be less positive than he hoped.

He sat and waited, but she did not turn.

Boop.

2. Wait for him to fall asleep, then move to another seat.

Despite her defensive body language and her refusal to acknowledge his presence, Chloe's unwelcome seatmate is not backing down. She could tell from his manic, disheveled appearance that he had barely slept since she saw him last, so she tries to wait him out.

And now he had a problem. As he warily watched for the change in position that would allow Chloe to see him in her peripheral vision, he was suddenly awash in fatigue. His muscles and joints ached, his eyes burned. His head felt like lead. No way was he going to fall asleep and have her discover him dozing next to her.

Buck gestured to get the attendant's attention. "Coke, please," he whispered. The temporary caffeine rush would allow him to stay awake a little longer.

When Chloe didn't move even to watch the safety instructions, Buck grew impatient. Still, he didn't want to reveal himself. He wanted to be discovered. And so he waited.

Boop.

3. Take the initiative, establish control.

Her stalker has continued staring at her, unrelenting, all through takeoff and the first 10 minutes of the flight, pausing only to bully the flight attendant into getting him a soda before she'd even given the safety instructions. Chloe is beginning to get scared. Ignoring him isn't working, so she tries a different tactic, aggressively initiating conversation herself and doing her best to establish control over the situation.

Chloe is aware that stalkers can be unpredictable. Buck clearly has a fantasy of how this scene will play out and might respond violently should her reaction vary from the script in his head. You can never be too careful, even in the public setting of a crowded airplane, so she does her best to play along and humor him.

She must have grown weary of her position, because she stretched and used her feet to push her carry-on bag under the seat in front of her. She took a last sip of her juice and set it on the small tray between them. She stared at Buck's glove-leather boots, the ones he had worn the day before. Chloe's eyes traveled up to his smiling, expectant face.

Her reaction was more than worth the wait. She folded her hands and drew them to her mouth. "Oh, Buck," she whispered. "Oh, Buck."

"It's nice to see you, too," he said.

Boop.

4. Keep him talking, but stick to neutral topics.

As an experienced air traveler, Chloe is well aware of the most-effective, time-tested technique for avoiding unwanted small talk during a flight: just use the magical phrase, "Do you know Jesus as your personal savior?" She employs a similar tactic here, posing as a religious obsessive to keep her stalker off-balance.

Chloe quickly let go of his hand as if catching herself. "I don't mean to act like a schoolgirl," she said, "but have you ever received a direct answer to prayer?"

Chloe begins aggressively buffeting her stalker with religious questions, pressuring him to become a born-again Christian and to pray with her right then and there. She has taken the upper hand.

She is now in control of the conversation, but this is still only a stalling tactic. She still needs to find some escape from the immediate situation, to establish a safe distance from which she can plan a way to deal in the long-term with her stalker. Meanwhile, she's getting a clearer, more disturbing picture of the depth of his obsession. Just yesterday Buck had described himself to her as a secular skeptic, yet now he is saying that he will consider converting to her newfound religion and even to attending her local church, 1,500 miles from his home.

Boop.

5. Call for help.

Be prepared. Plan ahead so that you always have some way of contacting help if you need to do so.

She stopped a passing attendant. "Can I give you a message for my dad?"

"Sure. Is he captain or first officer?"

"Captain. Please just tell him his daughter has extremely good news for him."

"Extremely good news," the attendant repeated.

Until he boarded the plane that morning, Chloe had no way of foreseeing that Buck would begin stalking her, but she is not caught unprepared. She and her father had already established a coded communication system. "Good news," is her code phrase to her father for "I need your help, come quickly." Her message of "extremely good news" is an emphatic 9-1-1 emergency distress call. By using such code phrases, she is able to summon help without allowing Buck to see her growing discomfort and fear and without causing him to react defensively or unpredictably.

Boop.

6. Go away somewhere safe; do not remain alone

Chloe's father arrives. He is friendly and polite, but quickly inserts himself in between his daughter and her aggressor.

He shook hands with the writer and expressed his pleasant, but wary, surprise. Chloe reached for his neck with both hands and gently pulled him down to where she could whisper to him. "Daddy, could you and I sit back there for a couple of minutes so I can talk to you?"

The pilot takes his daughter to an empty seat several rows away and sits with her a bit. She is noticeably upset by now, but safely away from her stalker.

A middle-aged couple across the aisle leaned out and stared, brows raised. The captain noticed, straightened, and headed toward the cockpit. "My daughter," he said awkwardly, pointing at Chloe who smiled through her tears. "She's my daughter."

Having removed his daughter from immediate danger and enlisted the assistance of the couple across the aisle to ensure that she is not left alone with her stalker again during the flight, the pilot returns to the cockpit to contact security at O'Hare. They will be there to greet Buck when he arrives in Chicago and to arrange for his return to New York.

Boop. This concludes side one. Please turn the cassette over to hear a different take on these pages from Left Behind. (Which will be posted shortly.)

(Note: LaHaye and Jenkins' disturbingly skewed notion that Buck's obsessive behavior is charming and romantic is amusing, but please do not regard the above as actual good advice for how to deal with an actual stalker. Real stalkers aren't funny. Here are some real safety tips from End Stalking in America and some more info on stalking from A.W.A.R.E.)

Comments

[Armando]

Best. LB Friday. EVER!

[damnedyankee]

Ahh, so they're losing ground then?

Mikhail wins some lovely internets!

[patter]

So the plane is taking Chloe-the-recognizable-person away? Now I'm sad.

D-yank: She was actually drinking Kool-Aid. It transformed her into a simpering soon-to-be Stepford Spouse.

[Froborr]

Yeah, the filmstrip-video divide happened when I was in middle school or so. My little sisters probably don't remember filmstrips, might not even remember reel-to-reel projectors.

They learn PowerPoint in third grade.

Those poor, poor children. PowerPoint is the sword-chucks of presentation tools.

[richardmtl]

This is the part that I don't get:

"She stopped a passing attendant. "Can I give you a message for my dad?"

"Sure. Is he captain or first officer?"

"Captain. Please just tell him his daughter has extremely good news for him."

"Extremely good news," the attendant repeated."

This left me really confused. Why does the flight attendant automatically assume that she's talking about the flight crew? And the way that she repeats the message, I imagined her as a zombie, brainwashed with that simple three-word message. She probably spent the rest of the day repeating it, over and over.

Oh, and this is probably one of the best posts ever, just had to say.

[mds]

She stopped a passing attendant. "Can I give you a message for my dad?"

"Sure. Is he captain or first officer?"

"Um, neither, he's in seat 21C. What, do you think everyone on the plane is related to the pilots?"

Chloe's conversion happens at the end of this scene, where she prays with her father.

Wait, so being stalked by Buck finally pushes her into getting saved? Now that's a disturbing technique for the Almighty to use. (Come to think of it, though, one that approximates all of premillenial dispensationalism writ small. "I won't be ignored, Dan!" [Unleashes next plague])

[Bugmaster]

Badass.

[mds]

Oh, for God's sake. I was so pleased to have caught an example of bad writing that hadn't yet been pointed out / mocked, but apparently couldn't post quite quickly enough. My travails are like unto Job's.

[Dan]

Maybe somebody can come out with a flannelgraph Left Behind Kit, so we can teach these wonderful teachings with our Sunday School kids.

[Bugmaster]

relativistic effects really do happen; it's just that we don't get to see them in our day-to-day lives.

Well, we sort of do. For example, GPS satellites have to have their clocks adjusted to account for relativity; and in the modern world, we do use GPS quite often.

[Robb]

If Gamow had written the scene, a monster scorpion might have come onto the plane and poisoned the flight attendant in the middle of the safety demonstration.

Well said - a better writer wouldn't have waited until 4 or 5 books later to get to the biomechanical horde of insectoids.

Then again, that's some prime Right Behind fodder. . .

[infernalserpent]

That writing (not Fred's glorious deconstruction) is creepy as hell. Brrrr.

I know it gets said a lot, but what is wrong with these authors? Where did they stray from the path of common, basic humanity? And how many readers are they possibly leading away with them?

[damnedyankee]

"Um, neither, he's in seat 21C. What, do you think everyone on the plane is related to the pilots?"

"Honey, if you knew these pilots like I do..."

"Um, no, my Dad's a born-again Christian."

"Well, sugar, when I say 'know" I mean in a Biblical sense."

I know, ick. But some atavistic little beastie in the back of my head made me do it...

[Jeff Weskamp]

Brilliant. Hilarious. And absolutely SPOT ON!!!

[Jeff Weskamp]

The only way today's LB post could have been cooler was if Fred had written it up as a Dharma Initiative training video.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Marvin Candle, and this is the Anti-Stalking Video from the Dharma Initiative...."

[JessicaR]

I'm flinching thinking of the bit read in one of the last books where SPOILER/Chloe is about to be executed publicly. They go "any last words" and then they are gracious enough to hand her a mike and let her prattle on for an *ENTIRE CHAPTER*. It's a full circle moment you go from feeling sorry for her to wishing they'd make with the chop chop/SPOILER

[Geds]

"Hello, I'm Dr. Marvin Candle, and this is the Anti-Stalking Video from the Dharma Initiative...."

"You will be working in The Abyss. Your job is to be hit on by creepy older men while unable to escape due to being confined in a small space for hours, days, or weeks on end.

"Write down all of your observations in the notepads supplied here, then leave them by the front door. A polar bear will be by at regular intervals to pick them up and bring them back to us.

"Good luck."

[mmack]

I've done this and had this done to me, both by girlfriends and just plain old friends, but, and I think this is very important, the surprise guest always came bearing gifts.

Rob,

Sadly that particular time K was not bearing gifts, just herself and her suitcase. I guess my point was I figured she would have driven home first to drop off her bags, or called me when she was still on the highway to see if I was home. I was momentarily stunned when she told me where she was. There was another incident later in our relationship after we had one of our knock-down, drag-out (verbal) fights. She called my house from her home phone and I didn't answer. About twenty minutes later I opened the garage door to leave my house and saw her standing on my driveway, looking very upset.

Around the same time period my lifelong best friend dropped in unannounced one evening just as I was getting ready to go to the grocery store. I was pressed for time and flat-out told him I had to go grocery shopping that night. He thought I was joking, but he came along for the ride and ended up helping me shop. However, ever since then he has CALLED first before he stops by to visit the mrs. and I.

[mmack]

Sure, maybe you're wearing the same underwear you've had on for three days

TMI Rob, TMI.

[Jesurgislac]

JessicaR, on Slacktivist it's not so much the spoilers as running out of the mockage and flamage before Fred gets there.

I can't wait, though.

[Geds]

He thought I was joking, but he came along for the ride and ended up helping me shop.

If I had a nickel for every time I ended up at a store with a friend because one or the other of us was pressed for time...

Heck, I ended up going with one of my friends when he picked up an engagement ring. It's no big deal.

[Dorothy]

Am I reading it wrong in thinking that Fred is posting two LB Friday posts today?

It has finally happened. The psychological damage of weekly exposure to LB has gone deep and Fred has split in two.

[mmack]

If I had a nickel for every time I ended up at a store with a friend because one or the other of us was pressed for time...

Geds,

I'll be dropping by tonight around, say, 8. That work for you? :^P

[MikhailBorg]

It has finally happened. The psychological damage of weekly exposure to LB has gone deep and Fred has split in two.

Is this post from the good side, or evil side? And will we be able to get the transporters fixed in time to recombine them?

[cjmr's husband]

Bitchin'!

[richardmtl]

for mds:

I know, I felt the same way as you did, pleased to be the first. Sorry I stole your thunder, but in any case, let me be the first to say that your response ("21C!") was way better than mine! :)

[Tyro]

In L&J's defense, this trope of getting a seat next to the woman you're interested in was used at the end of the Holly Hunter movie "Home for the Holidays," and the scene worked out pretty well without coming across as creepy.

If there's a flaw in LB, it's that L&J did not do enough work in the setup to establish that Chloe would actually want to hang out with Buck for a few hours on the airplane... in part because their initial courtship dance was chaste and awkward, whereas it was much more blatant in "Home for the Holidays."

[Robb]

And will we be able to get the transporters fixed in time to recombine them?

Why would we want to do that? This way, "Fred" can later do something evil, and we'll be confused until it's revealed it was just Federico pretending to be Fred.

[Geds]

I'll be dropping by tonight around, say, 8. That work for you? :^P

Sure. Just one question. How do you know where I live?

[Tokyo (was Edo)]

Banzai!

[Tokyo (was Edo)]

Banzai!

[Geds]

"I won't be ignored, Dan!" [Unleashes next plague]

Little do you know that that's actually 2 Catchetonians 3:12. The far more interesting verse is the follow-up:

"Hey, Barbra, I see what you're doing. PUT THAT DOWN!"

And then I'm given to understand that the almighty personal savior gives everyone a detention.

[Barry]

Fred should name his new, split self "George" and they could then team up to take out Dolores Uxbridge...

[Robb]

Sorry, forgot to add: "And we'll all be quite entertained for about 47 minutes, though a subplot or two involving Scottbot's emotion enabling programming would probably have to be thrown in, just to keep us from being too bored."

[Robb]

Fred should name his new, split self "George" and they could then team up to take out Dolores Uxbridge...

BWAHA! Barry FTW!

[Barry]

My bad, that's what I get for trying from memory: Dolores Umbridge

[NewsCat]

Excellent advice about stalking being a real danger.

January was national stalking month.

[Tokyo (was Edo)]

Whoops. Sorry about the double post.

*thinks for a moment*

Ah, what the hell. Banzai!

[NewsCat]

Ooops I meant National Stalking AWARENESS Month. Not a month to celebrate stalking.

[hf]

I don't think Asperger's alone explains it. (Bunk!) Though I haven't heard how it combines with religious obsession.

[Hibryd]

You will be working in The Abyss. Your job is to be hit on by creepy older men while unable to escape due to being confined in a small space for hours, days, or weeks on end.

Thanks for another muffled laughing fit. I gotta stop reading this blog at work.

This left me really confused. Why does the flight attendant automatically assume that she's talking about the flight crew?

Many years ago, at the publishing house:

Executive: "All right, gentlemen, we think we can sell this new series of yours, but first we have to find a suitable editor amongst our staff."
LaHaye And/Or Jenkins: "Editor? What do we need an editor for? These fancy new word programs have spell checkers now!"
Executive: "Yes, but we just want someone to perform continuity checks and make sure that everything reads properly and makes sense."
LAOJ: "Come on, we've got 12 more novels to write in the next 7 years, not to mention a hundred spin-off books to oversee - we can't waste time with your fancy 'editing'!"

[Tonio]

My argument: L&J both are Aspies, if they don't have high-functioning autism. Both are obsessed with religion; additionally, one of them is obsessed with flying and the other with phone calls. I think this is the only way one can explain this book.

I haven't been reading the text myself, just Fred's excerpts. (If I chose to do so, I would get book from the library because I refuse to financially support PMD's anti-humanist ideology.) Asperger's would be a likely explanation for the lack of authentic human behavior in the book. However, I favor the possibility of L and/or J growing up in strict authoritarian households that gave them distorted views of human interaction, with their obsessions being their ways of dealing with their emotional issues. This explanation wouldn't satisfy Occam's Razor, obviously.

[uhhhh]

Bifurcated

[Spalanzani]

Brilliant bold bad book bashing. Best bit "Boop", but bits between built beautifully. Bravo, bravissimo, banzai!

[Tonio]

It has finally happened. The psychological damage of weekly exposure to LB has gone deep and Fred has split in two.

No, I think Fred is copying Will Graham from "Red Dragon," going too far into the mind of the psychotic killer and struggling to pull himself out. Do you suppose that L&J's real-life personalities fit the stalker profile?

[richardmtl]

wow, what wonderful wierd wacky words whence wandered..

whew! what wearying work writing words with "w"!

why "b"?

[Tonio]

Brilliant bold bad book bashing. Best bit "Boop", but bits between built beautifully. Bravo, bravissimo, banzai!

I was going to suggest a Berenstain version of LB, but I think a Dr. Seuss version would be funnier.

(The key to reading Seuss to your kids is that most of the stories follow a waltz beat - "THAT makes a STOry that NO one can BEAT, and to THINK that i SAW it on MULberry STREET.")

[Spalanzani]

Bugger, bifoldly 'banzai'-beaten by Bay-Door .

[Anna]

As he warily watched for the change in position that would allow Chloe to see him in her peripheral vision, he was suddenly awash in fatigue. His muscles and joints ached, his eyes burned. His head felt like lead.

These do not sound like the ordinary symptoms of sleepiness (particularly as Buck has not seemed particularly tired in previous paragraphs, and his anticipation would presumably be keeping him awake). Since we are dealing in End Times here, I think that perhaps we should be concerned the Buck is in fact evincing symptoms of a plague. Joint pain, severe headache, and retro-orbital pain (hemorrhaging?) are all symptoms of a severe illness, at the very least. Perhaps Chloe catches the plague from his heavy breathing in the seat beside her, and her feeling of illness results in her inexplicable weepiness when she sees her father. Further, her conversion at the end of the scene is good evidence for altered mental state, which is yet another symptom severe illness (not enough of certain hormones getting to the brain can mean an endocrine disorder, much like Buck's severe headaches). Such endocrine disorders have been known to produce religious hysteria, often with other unpleasant side effects like major organ failure. Rayford, being on the plane, should then catch the plague from Chloe. Rocks fall, everyone dies.

[damnedyankee]

why "b"?

Because!