L.B.: In these shoes?

Left Behind, pg. 411

In a rare display of economy and pacing, we skip directly from Chloe's midflight conversion to this at the beginning of the next chapter:

Buck called New Hope Village Church to set up an early evening meeting with Bruce Barnes, then spent most of the afternoon at the Chicago bureau of Global Weekly.

This is a remarkably streamlined transition and a radical, but welcome, departure from the pattern of the book so far. Sure, the first two words of Chapter 23 are "Buck called," but we're not forced to sit through a transcript of that phone call even though it would have been a chance to name-check Loretta. We're also not forced to slog through all the logistics of the remainder of the flight from New York, the landing in Chicago, Buck's getting off the plane, his choice of rental car and drive into the city, etc.

This might be further confirmation of my theory that Jerry Jenkins took a breather just after typing Chapter 21 and, for the first and only time, skimmed through the preceding finished pages. Maybe he learned from that. Maybe he thought to himself, "Hmmm, I've expended a great deal of ink so far on the minutiae and logistics of travel, which does nothing to advance the story or the characterization." If he did realize as much, of course, he was still Jerry Jenkins -- so he wasn't going to go back and rewrite any of the earlier pages, but maybe he decided to try to do less of this from now on. Or perhaps he was just getting lazy, trying to spare himself a bit of work and -- as a happy side effect -- sparing us readers some extra tedium as well.

In any case, here we are at the Chicago office:

News of his becoming their boss has swept the place, and he was greeted with coolness by Lucinda Washington's former assistant, a young woman in sensible shoes.

Global Weekly apparently conducts its internal business in accordance with its journalistic motto: "We won't tell anyone." Why send out a memo announcing Steve Plank's departure and Buck's promotion? Some form of the news will eventually get around to everyone through the office gossip grapevine.

"Sensible shoes" is, of course, a cue that we're supposed to dislike this young woman. Only two kinds of women exist in Left Behind. They can be, like Lucinda Washington, a madonna. Or they can be, like this young woman, the other kind. "Sensible shoes," for LaHaye and Jenkins, means "unladylike shoes," and all women who are not ladies are whores.

The misogyny is palpable, but we've had plenty of opportunity to explore that before now, so let's set aside for the moment L&J's warped understanding of gender and consider instead their warped understanding of footwear. The authors seem to imagine all of their lady madonnas dressed like Donna Reed. Even their maternal stereotypes like Lucinda Washington are walking around in impractical high heels. Their whores meanwhile -- a category that includes not just supposed flirts like Hattie, but all female executives and single women -- are apparently all wearing "sensible shoes." They seem to think of comfortable flats as slutty. Does that mean they would consider a pair of four-inch stilleto-heeled stripper shoes to be matronly?

Jenkins continues his thumbnail sketch of this ladder-climbing young trollop:

She told him in no uncertain terms, "Plank did nothing about replacing Lucinda, so I assumed I would move into her slot."

Her attitude and presumption alone made Buck say, "That's unlikely, but you'll be the first to know. I wouldn't be moving offices just yet."

If there's one thing Cameron Williams can't abide it's presumptuous young people trying to buck authority. Except, of course, for himself. "Buck" is, after all, a masculine nickname.

Both Buck and she-Buck here are, yet again, acting like they work for Global Quarterly. Lucinda Washington disappeared 9 days ago. Since then, at least two final publication deadlines would have come and gone. Jenkins lacks any sense of the relentless urgency of a weekly production schedule. Whether or not Buck wants to accept it, this young woman already got a battlefield promotion the day that Lucinda disappeared. The battle doesn't stop just because the lieutenant got killed. The sergeant takes over without waiting for word from central command and the mission continues.

The same dynamic would have occurred in every institution that didn't have the luxury of shutting down for a week or two in the aftermath of The Event. There would be first-year interns in charge of emergency rooms, rookie deputies stepping in as acting sheriffs. Every mayor, marshal and manager who had disappeared, died or crawled into the fetal position would have been replaced, out of sheer necessity, within hours of The Event.

The characters in LB are all behaving eerily blaise blase about the disappearances, as though The Event were something they had all read about in history books instead of a world-altering trauma they had actually experienced less than two weeks ago, but that's not how any of this would really play out. Nine days after The Event, none of those assistants thrust into leadership roles would yet have had a full night's sleep. They'd all be wearing sensible shoes, the same clothes they had on yesterday and the day before, and the bedraggled, frantic look of those surviving on adrenaline and necessity instead of food and sleep. Suddenly over their heads with others relying on them, they would either have learned to swim or they'd have drowned, replaced immediately by someone with even less experience.

If it takes the generals and the other higher-ups nine days before they even begin talking about sending replacements and reinforcements to carry out the necessary function of their now-missing lieutenants, then those useless REMFs deserve to be "greeted with coolness" by those who never abandoned their posts.

Buck's response above is essentially to inform this young woman that he expects her to continue carrying out all of Lucinda's duties and responsibilities indefinitely, at her previous pay grade, without any formal increase in her authority to carry out those tasks and without even a trace of support or gratitude from her new boss. This is yet another example of one of our supposed heroes behaving despicably as the authors give each other high-fives and celebrate the way Buck put this uppity, sensible-shoed bitch in her place.

These are truly awful people.

Comments

[Cyllan]

Consumer Unit: Clearly God was intervening on Buck's behalf. Nicky didn't notice because God didn't want him to notice.

This brings us back to the point that the L.B. God is closer to Cthullu than any entity that I would want to worship, but there ya go.

[Tonio]

Oh, no, I didn't mean to imply that you were. I was just struck at that moment by recalling many a drunken lout rationalizing a woman's somehow resisting his, er, charms by loudly telling his friends that she must be a lesbian.

No problem. I knew you weren't implying that.

Does it seem to anyone that American culture has two definitions of "gay" and "lesbian"? The first seems to involve the actual sexual preference. The second is merely nonconformance with the culture's (in my view) oppressive gender roles. That's what I meant by "might as well be lesbian." Our culture slams the gay label on male celebrities with pretty-boy looks - Clay Aiken, Jeff Gordon, Tom Cruise. Anything that appears to perpetuate a stereotype makes me cringe such as when Ellen DeGeneres and k.d. lang announced their lesbianism. I imagine paying straight celebrities like Antonio Banderas and Nicole Kidman to pretend to be gay simply to confound the stereotypes.

[spencer]

And since, by practically by definition, the percentage of the population that exhibits criminal behavior is now drastically higher

I don't accept the premise that "raptured" and "law abiding" necessarily have a stronger correlation than could be found in the overall population. Remember, according to LaJenkins' brand of theology, you get your one-way ticket Up if and only if you say the magic words (or if you're younger than 12). Behavior has nothing to do with it.

[Tim Lehnerer]

Speaking of the "sensible shoes" thing, there's a Mike Royko column reprinted in "Dr. Kookie, You're Right!" where he got hate mail for describing people from a feminist organization as wearing sensible shoes, and goes on to explain exactly why he meant it to be a compliment and a strike against wearing shoes that cause physical harm in order to look attractive. I remember the column being really funny but I'm afraid to read it again...

[NewsCat]

IIRC, Verna Zee is explicitly spelled out as a lesbian in either Trib Force or one of the later books.

In fact its one of the only passages that I know of the series DEALS WITH HOMOSEXUALITY. Zee, as the books only known homosexual, is sorta-kinda interested in being saved. Basically she asks Buck that isn't she excluded from his heaven, being that she's a lesbian and all. And he tells her as a pre-marital sex having person, he's ALSO a sinner, and they're all sinners, but its okay because God forgive him.

Later she dies the way that most of Chicago dies and we never hear if she converted or not (from lesbian I mean).

[The Old Maid]

Then again, I think clothes are overall pretty dumb. Weather appropriateness has its point, and they can be useful as decoration for mate-seeking purposes, but otherwise, I really don't understand why we can't all just sit around naked ...

People say it wouldn't bother them, and then the audience saw the "Rear Window" episode of Roseanne.

BTW, the fascination with shoes obscures something more telling about Buck. He calls his rival [the unnamed Verna] a "young" woman. Since the novel goes to great lengths to portray the 30-year-old Buck as a prodigy for his age, and Buck will marry an ingenue who isn't old enough to drink in some states, what is Buck's definition of "young" and by extension, Competent?

[Cat]

For academic reasons, not only did I see the LB movie myself, but I also subjected fourteen classmates to it--and Steph, aside from Rayford's moustache, Chaim's height, and Chloe's glasses, that's pretty much the look the casting directors went with, too.

Regarding the trinity of four: in high school, my best friend started a cult to worship Nigel Tufnel. Our holy scriptures were Marvin K. Mooney, Will You Please Go Home!, and Dave used to stand on the tables in the drama club room and read it out to the congregation of half a dozen or so. Whenever we met in the halls, we would greet each other by clenching a fist and saying, "Nigel!" Dave created a whole pile of religious holidays too (his new Mac came with a calendar-making program and he was mad with power), and we still celebrate one, Meat Day, on May 26. Those of us who are still in touch give each other gifts of meat.

[Robb]

Dammit, someone NEEDS to post this apparently excellent Steph drawing on Right Behind - my work filters block her site as pornography for some reason (which makes me even more curious).

I agree that the misogyny here is dialed up even above normal L&J levels - that Jenkins gives shoes as the only descriptor says a lot. Poor Verna.

NewsCat: IIRC, Verna Zee is explicitly spelled out as a lesbian in either Trib Force or one of the later books.

I believe you're correct. IIRC, Verna isn't mentioned after Tribulation Force.

In fact its one of the only passages that I know of the series DEALS WITH HOMOSEXUALITY.

I assume you're not counting the prequels.

[aunursa]

Cat: we still celebrate one, Meat Day, on May 26. Those of us who are still in touch give each other gifts of meat.

FYI: International Eat an Animal for PETA Day is March 15.

[aunursa]

anonymous @ 5:06 was me.

spencer: I don't accept the premise that "raptured" and "law abiding" necessarily have a stronger correlation than could be found in the overall population. Remember, according to LaJenkins' brand of theology, you get your one-way ticket Up if and only if you say the magic words (or if you're younger than 12). Behavior has nothing to do with it.

IIRC Evangelicals believe that as one grows in the faith, one will sin less.

[LN]

Steph - FTW!

[Ursula L]

IIRC Evangelicals believe that as one grows in the faith, one will sin less.

Evangelicals, perhaps. But L&J approved PMD RTCs? Probably not so much growth. Pure magic words doesn't lend itself to growth, and might actually find the prospect of growth threatening.

[aunursa]

CU5012: And Nicky's failure to have him taken out and shot immediately upon realizing his Satanic Mojo wasn't working really needs some kind of explanation beyond "It's In The Script".

Yes, that puzzled me when I read it. We're getting ahead of the discussion, but I assumed that the authors intended that Nicky's failure was that he didn't realize that his mojo hadn't worked on Buck. But other scenes called that into question.

[aunursa]

Ursela: Pure magic words doesn't lend itself to growth, and might actually find the prospect of growth threatening.

Right, but presumably L&J believe that growth includes studing the teachings of Jesus, and that these teachings lead one to sin less.

[Rob]

We are specifically told that the crime rate doubles after the event, although of course that's just reported crimes.

[Jeff Weskamp]

"In other words, it's a form of Mating Display by exaggeration.

Like Bazooms of Doom, Steroid Wonder Pecs, or codpieces." -- Ken

The funniest codpiece I ever saw was in the first Blackadder series. It was called the "Black Russian." Edmund said it was "great for terrifying the clergy!"

"Zee, as the books only known homosexual, is sorta-kinda interested in being saved." -- NewsCat

There IS one other homosexual character in Left Behind, NewsCat. His name is Guy Blood, a mincing, swishy, effeminate artiste who appears in Book #7, The Indwelling. He is commissioned by Leon Fortunato to design and build a giant, hollow, nude statue of Nicolae Carpathia. Guy Blood is NOT a subtle sterotype at all! His every word, action, and gesture conform to the limp-wristed, light-in-the-loafers, effeminate stereotype of a gay man.

[Dahne]

Just jumping in to add to the paen of Steph being blindingly awesome. The expressions are perfect.

@Dude: And sensible shoes girl is totally Meg from Family Guy.

Who is constantly derided and despised. Hmm...

Regarding shoes, I wear Birkenstocks. I also have short hair. I must be a hyperlesbian from beyond the stars.

(Side question: Do men really find long hair more attractive? I like both, but my eye tends to take more notice of shorter hair on women, simply because it's less common.)

Regarding the execrable excerpt from Tribulation Force:

Buck had finally become a believer, just before entering the meeting at the U.N. "I'm absolutely convinced that if I had gone into that room without God," Buck said, "I would have been reprogrammed too."

THEY ARE ROBOTS.

[Jeff]

Very cool, Steph! Love the phones, Nicky reading the phone book to the Illuminati and Chaim with "Aubrey". (I was wondering who was in the cloud -- D'oh! Of course Irene and Raymie!)

=========================

Am I the only one who'd set aside my preference for trouser over skirt? Ray and Buck are enough to make anyone look at the sapphic possibilities with an reconsidering eye.

[heart] [heart] [heart] [heart] [heart] [heart] [heart] [heart] !!!!

(I hate HTML! -- can't make a "< B" heart)

=========================

Frobarr's "Nobody Scores!" link sent me off to Dan "Bizarro" Piraro's blog, which has a entry showing that he's married to a woman as crazy and wonderful as he is: My Crazy Half-Nekked Wife

=========================

I mean, yeah, if all women looked like Olivia Wilde

I think you mean Aisha Tyler...

=========================

my best-beloved never wears anything but flats, and that's fine with me. I'd far, far rather have her comfortable than not

For real! My cutie-pie wears flats to work and slippers around the house, and I think she looks wonderful! She wears short heels on occasion, but it's always her choice.

===========================

[Buying comfortable shoes] is purely selfish effort.

No, it's not. If you're more comfortable, you'll treat those around you better. So it's in our self-interest to see that you have good comfortable shoes.

=========================

More bad writing: who would actually describe taking over as "moving into her slot"?

Wouldn't that be part of the Chloe/Hattie slash? "Hattie gasped as Chloe moved into her slot"....

[Jeff Weskamp]

I love Steph's artwork, too! I presume the scientist-type with the carnivorous potted plant is Dr. Rosenzweig.

By the way, uh, what happened to page 410? Last Friday's post covered pages 400-409, but this week's post only reviews page 411?

[Spalanzani]

Dahne: "THEY ARE ROBOTS."

Nobody ever believes until it's too late...

[Jeff]

Do men really find long hair more attractive?

Depends on the hair. Long, luxurious locks are quite becoming. But short hair, even a buzz cut, can look cool -- I once saw a character in glamorous evening gown, full makeup and a buzz cut. She carraied herself with the confidence to pull the look off.

I prefer my girlfriend unbraided (it's short or braided -- she won't wear her hair even medium long). Mostly that's because I love to nuzzle her head, and it's harder with braids. She prefers my hair long, but has gotten used to it being semi-short.

[Lauren]

Wouldn't that be part of the Chloe/Hattie slash? "Hattie gasped as Chloe moved into her slot"....

You said it, not me.

[McJulie]

I've always thought that "sensible shoes" refer to those black, lace-up shoes with the short heel that for decades were worn by elderly ladies.

ohiolibrarian ... Um... you aren't a vampire by any chance, are you?

Because, assuming I'm picturing the correct kind of Victorian lace-up ankle boot, they might have been sensible in 1900, but nowadays they are worn mostly by fashionista goth chicks and are not considered sensible at all.

When I read the phrase "sensible shoes" I always picture nun shoes, or nurse shoes. I think it's what I'm meant to picture. Shoes with square toes and thick no-skid rubber soles, but more important, shoe that scream "sensible!" from a long way away.

And yes, shoes that are sometimes used as shorthand for "lesbian." But with L&J you have to wonder if they meant it. Because it's obvious that they put so little thought into describing their characters and use only the hoariest cliches that come to mind right away, like "drop-dead gorgeous," it's possible that they simply wanted a brief physical description that suggests "aggressive female" and didn't even stop to think why.

And Steph continues to rule.

[Nenya]

Steph does, indeed, rock. I LOL'd. Love the phones. Didn't notice until second viewing that the *plants* had phones too! Chloe and Hattie are perfect (well, so are Buck and Ray, but I really like Chloe). And the phone book! :D

Not much more to say except that I read "sensible shoes" the way Fred did. Guess I just haven't been exposed to that stereotype (sensible shoes = lesbian). On the other hand I wear sensible shoes (generally sneakers, though I own flat, square-toed dress shoes and a pair of square-toed heels I wear when I must), and am not quite straight. Hmmm.

[Ember Keelty]

I think I am officially the gayest, most evil bitch on Slacktivist. I wear Crocs.

[ralph]

>Regarding shoes, I wear Birkenstocks. I also have short hair. I must be a hyperlesbian from beyond the stars.

Amen, sister. I took a holiday once with an another shor haired, Birk wearing friend.

One drunken evening we realised that what we had suspected - that everyone else where were staying thought we were Teh Gay - when suprise was expressed about our seperate beds.

It's the short hair that does it, I've decided..

[Dash]

Aw, Steph! You just made Baby Jenkins cry!

(The rest of us, of course, are laughing our heads off.)

Brilliant work!

[aunursa]

I've been unable to link to the Left Behind graphic novels. For anyone interested in comparing, follow this link, then click on Books, then click on Graphic Novels.

[Ken]

One thing about the "Tribulation Force" preview that struck me as especially "bwuh?"-worthy: Buck's just SEEN the ANTICHRIST, in his new role as World Overlord, mind-control a man to DEATH. And he's the only eyewitness who knows this.

His reaction? Go shopping. -- Consumer Unit 5012

Actually believable as a displacement behavior. When something has just come out of nowhere and knocked all the cheese off your cracker, take something mundane and do it obsessively/cluelessly.

I think that was in play after 9/11, when as the American home front reacted and rose as they did after Pearl Harbor, officialdom reacted with the following marching orders: "Shut up and Go Shopping."

And the automatic cries for Gun Control after every College Campus Massacre. Some loser decides he's gonna get FAMOUS and pulls a Columbine. Kyle's Moms react by demanding Absolute Total SAFETY in the future, which is by definition impossible. Since they can't control the next loser who wants to become a dead Instant Media Celebrity, and can't admit they can't, they focus on something they CAN control -- the type of weapons the last loser used -- and micromanage it to death.

[Vermic]

When I imagine the aftermath of The Event, from this day onward I will picture millions of empty pairs of inch-high heeled shoes standing ownerless all over the world.

Guy Blood

A play on "gay blade", I guess? Or just another random output from the Freudian pit of horrors that is the L&J communal subconscious?

Either way, I would pay good money for a spinoff teaming up this guy with Rayford. "Blood & Steele: They're cops!"

[aunursa]

Ken: And the automatic cries for Gun Control after every College Campus Massacre.

In addition to the knee-jerk responses to any major shooting in the form of calls for gun control are the opposite knee-jerk calls for more gun-carrying citizens (the thinking being that an armed citizenry would have limited the killer's victim count.)

This is wandering off topic, but I found it fascinating that Congress was criticized by both liberal and conservatives who were upset with their representatives for wasting time on baseball hearings. Both sides felt that lawmakers' time should be spent dealing with much more pressing issues, such as (according to liberals) thwarting the executive branch's power grabs and getting U.S. troops out of Iraq, or (according to conservatives) enforcing immigration laws and anti-terror concerns.

[Spalanzani]

I'd like to see Guy Blood team up with Guy Noir. And then have them fight Guy Fawkes.

[ohiolibrarian]

Hey McJulie! My grandmother wore those kind of shoes in the '60s and '70s. So did a lot of other old ladies. See http://video.aol.com/video-detail/the-producers-old-ladies-on-parade/3307090090

They are traditional for little old ladies (and apparently Goths) while the rest of us have sensible nurse shoes.

[Ruana]

More bad writing: who would actually describe taking over as "moving into her slot"? Her slot? Can anyone out there imagine actually saying that?

Much as I hate to defend the authors - yes, I can. In fact, when it's reorg time in my place of work, the process of shuffling the staff into suitable posts is referred to as 'slotting and matching'.

Totally agree with everything said about them being misogynist jackasses, though. Their portrayal of this woman is revolting on so many levels.

[Jeff]

I think I am officially the gayest, most evil bitch on Slacktivist. I wear Crocs.

I've heard that Crocs are really great for those who do a lot of standing (nurses, frex -- on eguy in out local ER wears them). I can't imagine anyone else wearing such a hideous piece of apparel.

========================

the process of shuffling the staff into suitable posts is referred to as 'slotting and matching'.

Ya gotta match the Tabs with the Slots (referring to a previous Slactivist thread).

[Froborr]

Look at a hairy, lumpy, smelly person somewhere nearbly. Then imagine that person naked.

You have your answer.

*looks in mirror* I give it an hour before everyone stops noticing or caring. Maybe less.

As for hair length... it really depends. If a woman is petite or slender and has straight or blonde hair, short is the most attractive. If she's tall, slightly past shoulder length is the best. If she's short and curvy and has straight or blonde hair, chin-length is best. And if she has curly non-blonde hair, it really doesn't matter what she does with it, me want.

Ultimately, though, it doesn't matter that much. I'm incredibly easy. If she's female, neither grossly underweight nor massively obese, and has basic hygiene and social skills, I'll go for it. Well, no, because I never go for it, but I'll wish I could.

[hapax]

I normally wear reeboks, or mary janes with reinforced toes. Apparently having once run over your foot with as 100+ lb book cart is enough to turn you into a shrieking feminist lesbian or something. (Well, the shrieking part is true)

Steph definitely rules.

[hapax]

Uggh. No thanks on the ubiquitous nudity. I don't need to see my coworkers stuck to their chairs on a hot afternoon. And it's already bad enough what our patrons do to the upholstery...

I personally find long hair much more practical than short (unless it's buzz cut short). It takes me no more than three minutes to braid and pin my hair, and I get it trimmed about once a year. Most women that I know with short hair have to detangle, blow dry, style, curl, visit the hairdresser at least once a month, etc.

And I won't mention the hours some guys I know can spend with a blow dryer and hair gel.

I wish baldness would come into fashion for both sexes.

[shryockke]

High heels are designed to make a woman's behind look big and to accentuate its sway when she walks. This is to signal that she is ready to mate.

If real comfortable-shoe-wearing women would just honestly declare to women trying to decide how to dress, "Do not put on those high heels, sweetie, they will hugen your ass," high heels would disappear from space and time almost as quickly as all the real true christians disappeared from Jenkins' and Lahaye's universe!

[Dorothy]

I've heard that Crocs are really great for those who do a lot of standing (nurses, frex -- on eguy in out local ER wears them). I can't imagine anyone else wearing such a hideous piece of apparel.

Crocs are all the rage at my daughter's school - they're comfy and can be hosed off if they get muddy (or bloody). Ugly as sin, though.
---------------------------------
When I was in college, a quad preacher once singled me out and declared that "all women with short hair are butch-bull dykes". My hair is still short, but freshly permed - Damn! but I look good with my curly locks. And it's pretty much wash and wear.

[Chris]

Just to point out, not all women give a dang about whether their butt is big. I've never even considered that I would waste time thinking about those things. Would be nice if high heels disappeared, though.

Short hair is a lot easier for me. Also, it means I don't have to feel like a stupid piece of meat to be gawked at.

[Jeff]

takes me no more than three minutes to braid and pin my hair

I presume you're talking about a loose braid -- most of the hair gathered into 2 or three strands and "macremed" together? It takes my girlfriend HOURS to have her hair braided -- and would even if she didn't go to the slowest stylist in Los Angeles.

I wish baldness would come into fashion for both sexes.

Not I. Some people have REALLY weird heads!

[Reileen]

I'd like to see Guy Blood team up with Guy Noir. And then have them fight Guy Fawkes.

Throw Guy Cecil in there somewhere (either with or against Guy Fawkes, doesn't matter) and I'm game!

[aunursa]

Don't forget Guy Smiley.

[Selcaby]

New U.N. Secretary-General Nicolae Carpathia had just installed the ten new members of the expanded Security Council, seeming to err by inaugurating two men to the same position of U.N. ambassador from the Great States of Britain.

Where the dickens?

[Karen]

Evil, horrible, uppity bitch shoes, which happen to be what I wore to work today.

Good Christian shoes, which now I want really badly, and I'll get extra God points!!

This is just sooo weird. I have never, ever heard anyone suggest that flats were somehow less feminine than heels. When I was growing up, it was the other 'way round with RTC's. This has to be some brain bubble Jenkins had, which brought some vague association between low heels and Bad Female to the front of his mind.

Here's an interesting discussion of another Good Christian's opinion of women.

[jamoche]

Steph is awesome. If your browser scales down the image, make sure to look at the full-size version - Nicky SierraNevada has red eyes :)

[Drak Pope]

Where the dickens?

Selcaby -- in Carpathia's Earth, the world has been divided into 10 federal regions, each one run by one of his minions, as part of some tedious predispensational milleniarist numerology bullshit. The United States of Britain is one of those regions, and I assume that it's made out of the former United Kingdom and its territories.

[Cyllan]

Hey, Karen? As I'm in dire need of evil horrible uppity bitch shoes, do you recommend the ones you linked to?

Bonus points for the gold Good Christian shoes. White would probably be an acceptable alternate so long as they were worn after Easter.

I'm fond of slight heels just for height so long as the shoes are comfortable. The one pair of three inch heels that I have are great for striding around in... for about 10 minutes. Alas.