L.B.: Martyr envy

Or, Tribulation is a force that gives us meaning.

Left Behind, pp. 418-421

Meanwhile, in the suburbs outside of Chicago, a warm, domestic scene with the remaining members of the Steele family. Newly converted Chloe Steele voraciously reads in her dear departed mother's Bible and her father, immensely pleased, sits watching her. But not at all in a creepy way:

Rayford Steele was a happy as he had been since his own decision to receive Christ. To see Chloe smiling, to see her hungry to read Irene's Bible, to be able to pray with her and talk about everything together was more than he had dreamed of. "One thing we need to do," he said, "is to get you your own Bible. You're going to wear that one out."

"I want to join that core group of yours," she said. "I want to get all that stuff from Bruce firsthand."

Unlike her father, Chloe is at least able to stay awake while reading the Bible. We're not told what it is, specifically, that she's reading. Revelation, one assumes, and parts of Daniel but not the other parts. And little snippets from Ezekiel and Zechariah, the odd-numbered verses of Matthew 24, every third word in John's second and third epistles, and carefully redacted chapter fragments from 1 & 2 Thessalonians. For premillennial dispensationalists, the rest is just padding that doesn't apply to our "dispensation."

The PMD prophecy enthusiasts really would "wear out" a Bible if they tried to read one the way they claim it should be read. All that tearing out and reshuffling and re-editing on the fly would be tough on the binding. It's not really possible to pick up the physical book and read it this way. Even a Scofield Reference Bible, with its footnotes indicating all the arbitrary cross-references, would exceed the capacity of a ten-fingered reader to keep track of all the various and disparate passages it tries to stitch together as an allegedly single, secret narrative.

This is why the authors can tell us about Chloe hungrily reading the Bible, but they can't get more specific. It's also why Chloe herself realizes that she'll never be able to understand the End Times Checklist simply from reading the Bible on her own -- she needs Bruce's help to read it with the PMD decoder ring.

The telling word here is "firsthand." Bruce's interpretive overlay -- "all this stuff" -- is the "firsthand," primary source. The Bible is secondary at best.

It's also strange here that Irene's Bible seems to be regarded only as just another Bible. Here is an artifact of the wife and mother they have lost. It is a thing she treasured, that she held every day. Its margins are filled with notes in her own handwriting. My mother's Bible is not like any of the other Bibles, or any of the other books, I own. it is not merely a sacred text, but a sacred edition. It's impossible for me to read that volume without thinking of the hours my mother spent with it, of the prayers she prayed for me during the years she spent in those pages. To read that Bible is to have the sense, both sad and comforting, that I am somehow reading it with her.

So it's just alien-seeming that Rayford and Chloe seem to be treating Irene's Bible as indistinguishable from some Gideon edition pinched from a hotel room. It's alien-seeming, too, that they can sit together in this house and not be reminded, constantly, of Irene and Raymie. Yet there's no sense here of their presence or their absence.

I can't help but think of John Irving's Hotel New Hampshire when reading these scenes, and of the sadness that pervades that book due to the death of mother and poor Egg.¹ The authors of Left Behind seem to think they've already dealt with that sadness, that this sorrow and loss could be dealt with in a scene or two, allowing their characters and their checklist plot to move forward without ever looking back. There's never the sense here that sadness and loss linger. In Left Behind, sorrow doesn't float.

"The only part that bothers me," Chloe says as she wraps up her vague Bible study, "is that it sounds like things are going to get worse."

That's a major theme of LaHaye's prophecy scheme: "Things are going to get worse." This is the trajectory here in history -- so anyone who says different, or who tries to make things different, is likely evil. And it's even more the trajectory of the post-history "tribulation" period in which Chloe finds herself.

Late in the afternoon they dropped in on Bruce, who confirmed Chloe's view. "I'm thrilled to welcome you into the family," he said, "but you're right. God's people are in for dark days. Everybody is. I've been thinking and praying about what we're supposed to do as a church between now and the Glorious Appearing."

The "Glorious Appearing" is what LaHaye calls the Second Coming of Jesus. He can't call it that because, in his way of seeing things, it's really the third coming, with the Rapture being the second. PMDs have Jesus returning and re-returning to Earth so often that it'd make sense for him to spring for the EZ-Pass.

A pastor thinking about "what we're supposed to do as a church" might not seem unusual, but for LaHaye-types it is. From their perspective, "what we're supposed to do as a church" right now is wait for the Rapture, which could occur at any moment.

It could even happen ... riiiiiight ... now!

...

(Checks watch. Looks around.)

...

No? OK, maybe ... wait for it ... now!

...

Hmm, nope. OK, let's try again. ...

That pretty much is the PMD notion of the church's business agenda between Christ's ascension and the (first) second coming. There's plenty, of course, that the church and its members shouldn't be doing -- dancing, drinking, sneaking peaks at Playboy like the pre-conversion Bruce Barnes did. As their truncated version of James 1:27 reads, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: ... [snip] ... to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." The only thing they have to do besides sit around and wait for Jesus to come back is evangelism -- which as far as they can figure means recruiting others to also, um, sit around and wait.² Not terribly inspiring.

Bruce Barnes, however, knows that the second coming 2.1 won't be happening at any second. He has some time to kill before the (second) second coming, so he has to figure out something for his flock to be doing for the next seven years. At least for those few who manage to live that long.

Chloe wanted to know all about that, so Bruce showed her from the Bible why he believed Christ would appear in seven years, at the end of the Tribulation. "Most Christians will be martyred or die from war, famine, plagues or earthquakes," he said.

Chloe smiled. "This isn't funny," she said, "but maybe I should have thought of that before I signed on. You're going to have trouble convincing people to join the cause with that in your sign-up brochure."

Bruce grimaced. "Yes, but the alternative is worse. We all missed out the first time around. We could be in heaven right now if we'd listened to our loved ones. Dying a horrible death during this period is not my preference, but I'd sure rather do it this way than while I was still lost. Everyone else is in danger of death, too. The only difference is, we have one more way to die than they do."

"As martyrs."

"Right."

Ooooh, martyrs! How exciting!

And here we come to the vicarious appeal of these books for American evangelicals. The perilous Tribulation that Bruce Barnes describes is frightening, yes, but at least it's not as dull as the uninspiring sit-around-and-wait, do-nothing existence they've come to believe is their lot in life here in history.

Here in Left Behind they can reimagine the Christian life as an exciting adventure. It's similar to the speakers we had on youth group retreats back in high school. They would tell these thrilling stories of Christians who were persecuted for their faith -- first century believers or 20th-century Christians in China or behind the Iron Curtain. The stories would reach a crescendo where the persecuted faithful were forced to choose between denying their faith and certain death. "What would you do?" the speakers would ask. And then, with every head bowed and every eye closed, we were given the opportunity to come forward yet again to re-re-dedicate our lives to Christ.³

I don't know whether those speakers realized the secret envy we had when listening to those stories. The lives of those martyrs seemed so much more exciting and meaningful than our own did. Plus there was something weirdly appealing about a one-time, one-question, pass-fail test in place of the tedious day-after-day. In our imaginations, at least, the martyr's egress sounded almost easier than the pilgrim's progress (as somebody once said, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it.) We imagined that, like the grandmother in Flannery O'Connor's "A Good Man Is Hard to Find," we could've been good kids if it had been somebody there to shoot us every minute of our lives.

This is something Christopher Hedges captures in his book War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning:⁴

The eruption of conflict instantly reduces the headache and trivia of daily life. The communal march against an enemy generates a warm, unfamiliar bond with our neighbors, our community, our nation, wiping out unsettling undercurrents of alienation and dislocation. War, in times of malaise and desperation, is a potent distraction. ...

War makes the world understandable, a black and white tableau of them and us. It suspends thought, especially self-critical thought. All bow before the supreme effort. We are one. Most of us willingly accept war as long as we can fold it into a belief system that paints the ensuing suffering as necessary for a higher good, for human beings seek not only happiness but also meaning. And tragically war is sometimes the most powerful way in human society to achieve meaning.

Which is quite similar to one of my favorite passages from Walker Percy's The Last Gentleman:

What happens to a man to whom all things seem possible and every course of action open? Nothing of course. Except war. If a man lives in the sphere of the possible and waits for something to happen, what he is waiting for is war -- or the end of the world.

The intended readers of Left Behind are waiting for the end of the world. Or for war. Either one would do. Either one would seem more meaningful than the headache and trivia of daily life that constitutes what they now think of as "discipleship." And Left Behind lets them experience both, at least vicariously.

That sense of excitement, of how much more thrilling this would all be, can be seen in the next paragraph:

Rayford sat listening, aware of how his world had changed in such a short time. It had not been that long ago that he had been a respected pilot at the top of his profession, living a phony life, a shell of a man. Now here he was, talking secretly in the office of a local church with his daughter and a young pastor, trying to determine how they would survive seven years of tribulation following the Rapture of the church.⁵

The "phony ... shell of a man" refers to Steele's life before his conversion, but it's hard not to think of the authors and their readers relating to that as a description of their own mundane lives when contrasted with the thrilling adventure of life as God's guerrillas during the Tribulation.

Bruce tells the Steeles about a new core group he has decided to form (not to be confused with the original core group, of which Rayford is already a member):

"I've also been thinking about a smaller group within the core. I'm looking for people of unusual intelligence and courage. I don't mean to disparage the sincerity of others in the church, especially those on the leadership team. But some of them are timid, some old, many infirm. I've been praying about sort of an inner circle of people who want to do more than just survive."

Here they are, just nine days after the Rapture has caused them to start rebuilding the church from scratch, and already they've begun creating hierarchies and inner circles. Give them another week and they'll break out the robes and funny hats.

"... It's one thing to hide in here, studying, figuring out what's going on so we can keep from being deceived. ... But doesn't part of you want to jump into the battle?"

Rayford was intrigued but not sure. Chloe was more eager. "A cause," she said. "Something not just to die for but to live for."

"Yes!"

"A group, a team, a force," Chloe said.

"You've got it. A force."

Chloe's eyes were bright with interest. Rayford loved her youth and her eagerness to commit to a cause that to her was only hours old. "And what is it you call this period?" she asked.

"The Tribulation," Bruce said.

"So your little group inside the group, a sort of Green Berets, would be your Tribulation force."

"Tribulation Force," Bruce said, looking at Rayford and rising to scribble it on his flip chart. "I like it."

The authors' only regret about this passage was that they couldn't get Tyndale House to bind in pre-order cards for Left Behind II: Tribulation Force right here on this page.

Once you get beyond the overweening self-congratulation and general awfulness of that passage (take your time, I had to go out and run some errands and then come back to it), it's interesting to note that Bruce and Chloe, in searching for "something not just to die for but to live for" settle on "a group, a team, a force" and not a cause, a purpose, a mission. Bruce attempts to imagine a cause or a mission that this "force" would be fighting for, but the best he can manage is to imagine what it would be fighting against:

"When it becomes obvious who the Antichrist is, the false prophet, the evil, counterfeit religion, we'll have to oppose them, speak out against them."

So again they aren't for Christ, they're anti-Antichrist, which again is far from the same thing. The former really could be "something to live for." The latter might be something to die for, but more likely is merely something to kill for. That tends to be the problem when you define yourself in terms of what you're against instead of what you're for. That also tends to be the problem, as Hedges notes,⁶ with relying on war as your source for meaning.

The authors, fortunately, are only tangentially interested in giving readers something to kill for. Their main interest is just in supplying enough of the tantalizing possibility of such vicarious excitement that readers will go out to buy the sequel. And what was that sequel called again? Oh, right:

"You still want to be part of the Tribulation Force?"

Rayford nodded and smiled at his daughter's firm reply. "I wouldn't miss it."

- - - - - - - - - - - -

¹ So much so that I've come to picture a young Seth Green as Raymie. Jodie Foster as Chloe wouldn't work, but Jodie as meta-Chloe would be perfect.

² And, yes, thereby also to escape Hell. If what you're being saved to seems pointless then what you're being saved from has to be especially vivid. My favorite picture of Hell is the gray, isolating London of C.S. Lewis' The Great Divorce. Lewis' vision of Hell is difficult to distinguish from life in the church as envisioned by the PMD crowd.

³ Eventually I started keeping track of the number of times I had done this. It seemed absurd to me and I couldn't help but think it would look the same to God. So I decided that I was done with that. No more re-re-re-dedications. This was considered bad form, since the pattern for these speakers was first to invite the unsaved to get saved, then to invite the already saved to re-dedicate themselves, then to continue gradually widening the invitation until everyone had left their seats and gathered down front. I was never fully able to convince my youth pastor that, for me, not going forward was more important, more meaningful, than doing so for the umpteenth time. He was deeply worried about me every time we had one of those altar calls and I wound up being one of only two people who didn't go forward. (I never asked, and so never learned, what her story was.)

⁴ Thank you, Amanda, for getting me this. If book recommendations come on a scale from one to 10, consider this an 11: War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning.

⁵ I've written before about one of my favorite movie plot formulas -- the Innocent Man Embroiled in an International Scheme. Part of the appeal of that formula is something similar to what Hedges and Percy describe -- crisis shatters, and thus enlivens and gives meaning to, the mundane. That paragraph about Rayford presents what is probably the most inept and least appealing variation of this formula that I've ever seen.

⁶ Seriously, go read War Is a Force That Gives Us Meaning.

Comments

[Dan]

"and we had as much chance at it as we did of fucking a damsel in a tower."

At the exact moment I read this, "Agony" from "Into the Woods" was playing on my computer. Speaking of damsels high in their towers and such. Odd coincidence, there. Or was it a sign from God?

[Nobody_Special]

The 'Tribulation Force' really sounds like they're the ones imposing Tribulation on everybody else. But why not? It's all lovely, lovely violence after all. And being a violent person, in this universe, in no way prohibits you from being right with the Lord.

So, does the Tribulation Force really "Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out"?

[Praline]

Before this thread turns into a Nazis-versus-Islamofascists argument that leaves everybody mad with everybody, can I just say - does it matter who's worse? Violence and opporession are bad no matter who's doing them; ranking this one as worse than that one has absolutely no practical value. It's just playing Top Ten with Bad People.

Killing people? Bad. Intolerance? Bad. Tyranny? Bad. There's no ranking system here, just things that nobody sane wants to see happen.

[Spalanzani]

If I remember correctly, the first chapter of this book closes with the phrase "left behind", and now towards the end they bring up the name of the sequal in the most blatant way possible. I remember once reading something on a blog a long time ago to the effect that one should be very careful about directly stating the title of a book or other work in the work itself. If you do it wrong, it can seem unbelievably forced and stupid. Which of course is what happens here.

What's especially annoying are scenes like this where someone goes "What should we call ourselves?" and then of course they come up with the title. Though this gets parodied a lot now. Like in Mystery Men, at the end a reporter asks the heroes who they are and they try to think of a name. One of them suggests they be "the Myster Men", but the others laugh it off as an incredibly stupid name.

[Praline]

I know nothing, so I may be totally wrong about this, but it sounds to me as if the re-re-re-dedication ceremonies are a fundie-Protestant equivalent of taking Communion.

Of course, Catholicism is the Whore of Babylon, according to fundies, but coming up to the altar at regular intervals for a ritual acceptance of God into your being has an awfully familiar ring. Smells and bells getting in the back door.

[aunursa]

Geds: But mostly in the way that Islamofascists still exist and Nazis really don't

Just a couple of examples:

Nazis: hid their crimes -- didn't want the world to know what they were doing
Islamofascists: celebrate their crimes and post them on the internet

Nazism: localized to Eastern Europe -- easier to target
Islamofascism: worldwide movement -- no centralized government, militants blend in with civilians

[Spalanzani]

MikhailBorg: "Because God can create the universe, part seas, move mountains, bury fake fossils, and Rapture a huge chunk of humanity in a twinkling; yet He can't handle an Antichrist (which, again, is his own creation when all is said and done) without the help of an airline pilot, a college student, and a recently re-converted pastor."

Don't forget the investigative reporter! And not just any investigative reporter, but the greatest investigative reporter of all time!

[Geds]

Killing people? Bad. Intolerance? Bad. Tyranny? Bad. There's no ranking system here, just things that nobody sane wants to see happen.

Yup. My perspective is that Nazis as an aggregate are worse than terrorists/Islamofascists/whatever you want to call them. Terrorists will never seriously threaten to take over the world or exterminate an entire race (well, they may threaten they will, but they'll never pull it off).

However, if I want to get people worked up, I can't do it by calling out Nazis because, no matter what Jonah Goldberg or the Bush = Hitler crowd may believe, Nazis aren't a threat to the vast majority of the planet right now and will never be a threat again. So right now you can call terrorists big threats and can even call them a bigger threat than Nazis and get away with it simply because most people have no experience with Nazis or have forgotten about them with time. As one of my favorite history profs used to say, "Nobody listens to historians, anyway."

If we had some sort of evil leader bracket Hitler, Mussolini, Pol Pot, and a bunch of other dudes would be way ahead of Bin Laden, but we've largely forgotten that since the terrorists are the current, immediate, ohmygodwe'relivinginthemostimportanttimesever threat.

[Jos]

In the later books, is the Tribulation Force a military outfit aimed at toppling Carpathia's one-world government?

Don't know about the first part, but it's a definite 'no' on the second part.

After all, toppling the One World Government would derail the End Times Checklist. And we can't allow that to happen, can we? No, Nicolae Carpathia is going to stay completely safe until the Checklist demands otherwise. Rayford wouldn't dream of getting rid of the Antichrist by, say, crashing the plane he's piloting while it's carrying Nicky.

[Geds]

aunursa:

I'm not going to argue this point with you. I would taking living in a world with the imminent possiblity of Islamofascists doing things over a world with Hitler and Mussolini any day of the week. It's not even close in my humble opinion.

But what the hell do I know? I'm only a historian.

[Praline]

Aunursa: It doesn't matter who's worse. Neither is it in any way relevant to Fred's excellent post. Let it go.

[aunursa]

Jos: Rayford wouldn't dream of getting rid of the Antichrist by, say, crashing the plane he's piloting while it's carrying Nicky.

Is that supposed to be sarcastic?

[Tonio]

every atheist that grows up in a theist world

What about us "soft" atheists with little religion in our upbringing?

I would love to read Fred's dissection of "The God Delusion." But I would much rather evangelize for humanism and naturalism. Fred's stated positions come very close to both of those.

[Nobody_Special]

As long as the authors are veering militaristic, I wish we'd see Rayford "Born Again Hard" Steele barking this out at his latest "converts":

"God has a hard-on for the Tribulation Force because we kill every unbeliever we see! He plays His games, we play ours! To show our appreciation for so much power, we keep Heaven packed with fresh souls! God was here before the Tribulation Force! So you can give your heart to Jesus, but your ass belongs to the Force! Do you maggots understand?"

"Sir YES SIR!"

[Jos]

Is that supposed to be sarcastic?

No.

I haven't read the books myself, but from what I've picked up here is that Rayford ends up being Nicky's personal, private pilot.

And while Rayford supposedly does take this opportunity to 'spy' on the Antichrist, he does not take the opportunity to kill him and spare the world a lot of further grief.

[Tonio]

your ass belongs to the Force!

Please, no Star Wars slashfic jokes.

[aunursa]

Is that supposed to be sarcastic?

No

Because in one scene, Rayford does consider crashing the plane in order to kill Nicky.

[Nobody_Special]

Rayford wouldn't dream of getting rid of the Antichrist by, say, crashing the plane he's piloting while it's carrying Nicky.

Of course not! They'd run out of sequels. Can't have that.

[Jos]

He considers it? Good for him.

So why doesn't he do it? Does he convince himself that Nicky will use his magical Antichrist powers to survive? What's his motivation for not getting rid of the person he knows is the most evil being currently walking the Earth?

[Cowboy Diva]

Dan,
I'd say amazing coincidence, because if god wants you to find a willing damsel hidden in a tower then you should not be spending your time listening to Stephen Sondheim.
either that, or you are destined to be married to a baker.
heh.

[aunursa]

I didn't say that Islamofascists were worse than Nazis. And I wouldn't be able to choose a world with either. They both include depraved evil.

[Abelardus]

Neither is it in any way relevant to Fred's excellent post. Let it go.

For once, there is a consensus.

Because in one scene, Rayford does consider crashing the plane in order to kill Nicky.

So what contrived reason does he come up with for not taking out the Antichrist and sparing the world untold suffering - much of it eternal - and not-so-coincidentally cutting the End Times checklist off at the knees and ending the series early?

Is it because suicide is a sin (though if God counts sacrificing yourself in order to take the Prince of Lies down with you as suicide, He's pretty damn strict) or because it would be in defiance of God's Plan (and never mind that it shouldn't be possible to disrupt God's plan, especially not with a lousy plane crash).

[aunursa]

What's his motivation for not getting rid of the person he knows is the most evil being currently walking the Earth?

Unfortunately I don't remember the reason he declined. It reminds me of the secret service agent's (Clint Eastwood) dilemma in In the Line of Fire ... when he had the opportunity to kill the would'be presidential assassin (John Malkovic), who was holding his hand to prevent him from falling to his death.

[Jeff]

Hidden meaning: It's better to die on your feet than die on your knees, even if you're kneeling in prayer to God.

Silly me -- I thought the martyrs died on thier knees, ya know, eyes skyward, praying to their God. Shows what I know!

I didn't say that Islamofascists were worse than Nazis.

What's this, then:

In some ways the Islamofascists* are more dangerous than the Nazis. It's not a matter of excitement. It's a matter of facing reality.

[aunursa]

Anonymous: The consensus is to let it go. So if you want to hear my explanation, you'll have to email me at aunursa (at) comcast (dot) net.

[alec]

Whether the Islamofascists, the Germano-Hitlero-islamofascists, or the Italo-Mussolino-islamofascists are worse is, certainly, a nuanced matter.

[Nobody_Special]

Jeff,

I took it as a preversion of "For all they that take the sword shall perish with the sword."

I also figured that the authors would add: "But if thou perish by the sword after taking many of the enemy with thine own sword, thou shalt be venerated!"

[aunursa]

Dan: Who wants to go up to Heaven and sit around waiting, when you could be part of the Tribulation Force!?!?

The Trib Force want to go to heaven. They just don't want to die.

[Hysterical Woman]

I, like many other relatively secure people, sometimes wish to live in "Interesting Times", but if it were actually happening, I wouldn't be so happy about it as Chloe and Rayford. "Things are going to get worse"? I wouldn't want to hear that after I had just lost my mother and my little brother. That wouldn't convert me, that would make me curse God for piling on the pain.

Anonymous: The consensus is to let it go.

Fair enough.

[MikhailBorg]

I, like many other relatively secure people, sometimes wish to live in "Interesting Times"

That's what the SCA is for. A weekend's vacation from reality complete with people whacking each other with swords, and then back to air conditioning and the Internet.

[Nobody_Special]

Who wants to go up to Heaven and sit around waiting, when you could be part of the Tribulation Force!?!?

I wanna be a Trib Force Ranger
Live a life of blood and danger
Trib Force Ranger!
Blood and Danger!

When I get to heaven

St. Peter's gonna say,

"How'd you earn your livin' boy,

How'd you earn your pay?"

I'll reply with a whole lot of anger,

"Made my living as an Trib Force Ranger!

Blood, guts, danger

That's the life of an Trib Force Ranger!"

[LadyM]

I agree that the "who is worse" debate is completely moot. But now I can't stop thinking about that scene in Blazing Saddles when all the baddies (of ALL TIME) are lining up for Hedley Lamarr's army.
Hedley Lamarr: Qualifications?
Applicant: Rape, murder, arson, and rape.
Hedley Lamarr: You said rape twice.
Applicant: I like rape.

[Consumer Unit 5012]

JadarX: "We were asked to write letters to ourselves, which would be mailed a year later. (SNIP) One year later, I read the letter and thought, "man, I'm an asshole.", and threw it away."

I've often felt that realizing what an idiot I've been in the past is the only way I can ever get any smarter (One of my favorite writers, Robert Anton Wilson calls this the Cosmic Schmuck Principle), so good for you.

For the book recommendations, I'll toss in How to Lie With Statistics, which, when I become Benevolent World Overlord, will be required reading in all schools--it shows a lot of ways people use charts and graphs and numbers to mislead.

Also, Your Call Is Important To Us: the truth about Bullshit, which is indeed about bullshit and it's all-important place is modern society, which was alternately hilarious and enraging.

[LM]

Like Left Behind Fridays: The Abridged Series?

Carpathia plays children's card games in hell!

[Tonio]

Idea for the Trib Force logo, inspired by the Eternal Forces game - a cross with a bloody U.N. globe impaled upon it.

[Reileen]

Like Left Behind Fridays: The Abridged Series?

"Screw the rules! I have faith!"

Which is essentially the whole point of these novels anyway.

[Reileen]

Also, for some reason now I'm imagining Hattie as Mai Valentine from YGO: The Abridged SEries, if only because then we could have this scene:

"Who's that running towards?"

"Oh, look! It's Hattie's boobs!"

[Reileen]

towards us**

I fail at typing, apparently...

[aunursa]

cross with a bloody U.N. globe impaled upon it

Reminds me of the Terran Empire logo from the Mirror Universe.

[Tonio]

Reminds me of the Terran Empire logo from the Mirror Universe.

That means Hattie is the Captain's Woman...

[Hummingwolf]

as somebody once said, the hardest thing in this world is to live in it.

And then that person jumped. And now I'm crying again after all these years.

Funny how a satirical fantasy TV show with a silly name is so much more powerful and true-to-life than L&J's books, which are supposed to be set in our world and inspired by the Word of God. Something just isn't quite right there.

"something not just to die for but to live for"

What about something to sing about, while they're at it?

[Jos]

Like Left Behind Fridays: The Abridged Series?

"I'm going to rule the entire world... In Babylon!"

[Jeff]

Here he gives us three key realizations of every atheist that grows up in a theist world.

Speaking as one atheist to another, you're an ass. What you're citing aren't reasons to give up theism (as you'd know if you read ANY of this blog), but ritual. And ritual has its own use, quite apart from theism.

If we had some sort of evil leader bracket Hitler, Mussolini, Pol Pot, and a bunch of other dudes would be way ahead of Bin Laden, but we've largely forgotten that since the terrorists are the current, immediate, ohmygodwe'relivinginthemostimportanttimesever threat.

"March Martyr Madness"!!!! Tonight, in what is expected to be a easy cruise to the next round, Hitler takes on the Tyrant of Samos. But wait! Polycrates is eating his own family! My god! He's pulling all the stops, and now Hitler is weeping by the sidelines! What an upset! Glory be! Polycrates advances to the quarter-finals, but what can he do against Kim Jun-Il?

[Dahne]

"Screw the rules! I have faith!"

"I'm the Greatest Reporter of All Time...in America."

[Dahne]

Hey, Tea's dialogue would work really well, too. All you have to do is replace "friendship" with "Jesus."

[Cynic Sage]

"I've also been thinking about a smaller group within the core. I'm looking for people of unusual intelligence and courage. I don't mean to disparage the sincerity of others in the church, especially those on the leadership team. But some of them are timid, some old, many infirm. I've been praying about sort of an inner circle of people who want to do more than just survive."

Bruce is a pastor
Chloe has stopped thinking
Rayford is a pilot
Buck doesn't write down a damn thing
Call the force! Tribulation Force! Tribulation Force!

[Jeff]

Reminds me of the Terran Empire logo from the Mirror Universe.
That means Hattie is the Captain's Woman...

If that means we end up with Empress hattie as played by Linda Park, I'm joining!