L.B.: Transactions

Left Behind, pp. 424-426

As Bruce and Buck go around in circles, spiraling closer to Buck's eventual conversion, I find myself reimagining this scene set in "The Box" from Homicide: Life on the Street, with Andre Braugher in the role of the Rev. Det. Bruce Barnes Pembleton. The authors' notion of evangelism isn't that different from the manipulative mind games employed by Braugher's jesuitical policeman when interrogating suspects. It wouldn't seem out of place if, instead of asking Buck to pray, Bruce slid a yellow legal pad across the table and told him that it was time to make a formal statement.

Alas, the scene as actually written has none of the propulsive urgency of that excellent police drama:

"Nobody can force you or badger you into this, Mr. Williams, but I must also say again that we live in perilous times. We don't know how much pondering time we have."

"You sound like Chloe Steele."

"And she sounds like her father," Bruce said, smiling.

"And he, I guess, sounds like you."

I'm not sure if that's supposed to a be little meta-joke there, a winking acknowledgment to the reader that the past 400 pages are filled with repetitious dialogue from often indistinguishable characters.

Bruce's assertion there about "perilous times" in which we can't know "how much ... time we have" is another reminder of how premillennial dispensationalism is shaped by the denial of death. His remark is an accurate statement about the fragile human condition in every place and time. The Bible is filled with such reminders of our mortality. To the PMDs, however, those reminders do not apply to every place and time, they are relegated to this future time period, this other "dispensation." Here in our dispensation, what PMDs call the "Church Age," we can ignore such thoughts of our own finite time by clinging to the hope of, as Irene Steele put it way back on Page 4, "Jesus coming back to get us before we die."

I suppose that's reassuring, provided one doesn't stop to consider that the mortality rate for all humans, RTCs included, is a constant in every time and "dispensation." What mortals these fools be.

"Let me take a different tack," Bruce says:

"I know you're a bright guy, so you might as well have all the information you need before you leave here."

Buck breathed easier. He had feared Bruce was about to pop the question, pushing him to pray the prayer both Rayford Steele and Chloe had talked about. He accepted that that would be part of it, that it would signal the transaction and start his relationship with God -- someone he had never before really spoken to.

"Pop the question" is a strange phrase there, though less theologically troubling than the rest of that paragraph. The motif of God as the patient, wooing lover of humanity is a frequent and, to me, favorite biblical image. Betrothal isn't a bad metaphor for the kind of commitment and relationship Buck is considering here. Or, rather, for the kind of commitment and relationship Buck might have been considering were it not for the metaphor that supercedes that one here and throughout Left Behind -- the idea of a "transaction" initiated by "the prayer." Not just prayer, but the prayer -- the right prayer, the Magic Words.

I can't begin to unpack all the many ways that "transaction" is the disturbingly wrong word in the paragraph quoted above, but let's note that this notion of a transaction would seem to imply that Buck would be the one doing the redeeming here. That's not how we Christians usually think of this.

The authors' magic-words notion of prayer also explains what they mean here when Buck says that God is "someone he had never before really spoken to." Prayers not properly formulated and precisely addressed (with the correct ZIP+4) simply don't count. Foxhole-prayers and desperate cries addressed to "if there's anyone out there" don't count. God doesn't listen to things like Renan's agnostic's prayer ("Oh God, if there is a God, save my soul, if I have a soul"). Nor does God listen to any supplicant who doesn't pronounce his name precisely right.

Years ago I was arguing with a fundamentalist friend over the meaning of Acts 4:12, "Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved." This meant, he said, that salvation was impossible unless one spoke that precise name, the name of "Jesus Christ of Nazareth." Teasing him a bit, I reminded him that the book of Acts was written in Greek, and that Peter was most likely speaking in Aramaic, so if salvation required the pronunciation of that precise set of syllables, then saying it in English wouldn't seem to count. This clearly troubled him. I'm fairly sure he went home to look up those magic words in Greek and Aramaic, reciting them again just to be safe.

"I don't mean to be morbid, Mr. Williams, but I have no family responsibilities anymore. I have a core group meeting tomorrow and church Sunday. You're welcome to attend. But I have enough energy to go to midnight if you do."

[Insert gratuitous Ted Haggard joke here.]

Core group meetings (and super-ultra-inner-core group meetings) and church services make up Bruce Barnes' agenda these days now that he has slid into the "senior pastor" role left vacant by the disintegration/rapture of his boss. That raises the question of who now is serving as New Hope Village Church's visitation pastor. That ministry is more important than ever here in the traumatized post-Event world. Every family in the new congregation, every family everywhere, is now struggling to cope with the loss of their children. Others would still be in painful limbo -- their traveling spouses missing for more than a week now, whether raptured or dead in a plane crash no one yet knows. Those people are all going to need the attention of a minister in some form other than prophecy classes and Sunday services. The need and the pain of such people would be the dominant fact facing any church in the days, weeks and months after such an epic tragedy, yet this dynamic is completely absent from the authors' portrayal of the life, schedule and agenda of New Hope church.

We've noted before that the United Nations scenes in LB are completely unrealistic, bungling every aspect and detail of how that institution works and what actually goes on there. The authors' laziness, lack of research and failure of imagination is inexcusable, but their ignorance in that case is at least understandable, since neither of them has any actual experience or familiarity with that institution.

Yet the scenes in this book set in the offices of Global Weekly or New Hope Village Church are also wholly unreal. Such scenes also botch and bungle the details, the rhythm, the culture and the daily life of those institutions. This is confounding. Jerry Jenkins was, for years, the chief editor of a monthly magazine. Tim LaHaye has been, for decades, the pastor of a church. Despite their own histories with such institutions, their portrayal of them still seems as alien, lazy and ignorant as their portrayal of the U.N.

This is baffling. It's like listening to someone describe himself inaccurately while looking into a mirror. (Perhaps that explains it, actually.)

Anyway, I nominate poor, shattered Loretta to fill the now-vacant position of visitation pastor. She's visibly broken and short on answers. That should make her much better at the job than Bruce ever was.

Bruce spent the next several hours giving Buck a crash course in prophecy and the end times. ...

What this means for readers is a summary of the authors' description of the Antichrist, accompanied by a fevered description of Buck's increasing anxiety:

Buck's blood ran cold. He fell silent, no longer peppering Bruce with questions or comments. He scribbled notes as fast as he could. ... His fingers began to shake. ... Buck was overcome. He felt a terrible fear deep in his gut.

I'm starting to worry about his health. Buck's anxiety here stems from the similarities between the Antichrist that Bruce describes and Nicolae Carpathia:

At one point he thought of accusing Bruce of having based everything he was saying on the CNN report he had heard and seen, but even if he had, here it was in black and white in the Bible.

The CNN report is, of course, fictional. So too is this version of the Bible and its purported description of "the Antichrist."

Antichrist stories are, in a sense, a bit like vampire stories. Just as every new storyteller must reinterpret the vampire legends, deciding which parts to keep and which to revise (crosses, garlic, sunlight, mirrors, wood, running water, invitations, etc.), so too every new Antichrist storyteller must do the same -- whether, as here, in fiction or in purportedly non-fiction "prophecy" studies. Both kinds of stories are based on various, sometimes contradictory legends and neither (despite LaHaye's claims) can rely on any actual or canonical account that establishes the "real" characteristics of such monsters.

Because of this, as this series of books progresses, it's interesting to watch the dynamic in this passage reverse itself. Here Bruce and Buck begin to realize that Carpathia's actions closely parallel those supposedly prophesied in the Bible. Such similarities exist, at this point, because the character of Carpathia and his actions are based on those prophecies.

Yet because those prophecies of the Antichrist's actions are also largely a creation of the authors' imagination, the influence and the similarity begins to reverse itself as the Left Behind saga develops. The Antichrist they find "literally" prophesied in the pages of the Bible comes to resemble Nicolae rather than the other way around. They start projecting their own fictional character back into their convoluted prophecy scheme. More on this much later, when we get to some of the sequels (if the Lord tarries and/or we live that long).

I've commented before on the strange way that the authors (and many of their fans) seem to regard these books as evidence that these biblical prophecies are true. That wouldn't be the case even if these books were, as the authors claim, a fictional narrative devised to illustrate the fulfillment of those prophecies.

But that's not really what these books are. They are a fictional narrative concocted by the authors to illustrate the fulfillment of prophecies which were also concocted by the authors. They are two opposing mirrors, with nothing in between.

Comments

[Nobody_Special]

He had feared Bruce was about to pop the question.

"Mr. Williams, I propose . . . "

"And I ACCEPT! Oh, you've made me the Happiest Investigative Reporter In The World!" Buck gushed.

[Jessica]

Hoo-ray for LB Friday!

[Daughter]

I had the same reaction every time I read the word "transaction" to refer to salvation in LB. The word evokes sales and business, and is just bizarre in this context. I'm a Christian, but I have never in my life heard salvation referred to in this way. I was never a PMD or fundamentalist, however, but I suspect that even most of those who are don't use the term in this way. Maybe those with a PMD background can enlighten me, though??

[magistra]

The motif of God as the patient, wooing lover of humanity is a frequent and, to me, favorite biblical image. Betrothal isn't a bad metaphor for the kind of commitment and relationship Buck is considering here.

But surely Buck's right not to go the whole way on a first date?

[Jos]

Here in our dispensation, what PMDs call the "Church Age",

I'd like to ask if you're joking here, but I fear already know the answer.

But really, 'Church Age'? Without even taking into account the fact that churches in general continue to empty, 'Church Age' just sounds like some fictional period from fantasy novels where the dominant power of the continent was a theocracy or something.

[Tonio]

I'm not sure if that's supposed to a be little meta-joke there, a winking acknowledgment to the reader that the past 400 pages are filled with repetitious dialogue from often indistinguishable characters.

Perhaps the joke was an act of mini-rebellion by Jerry Jenkins.

The motif of God as the patient, wooing lover of humanity is a frequent and, to me, favorite biblical image.

The motif I've always received from the Old Testament is of God as the impatient, controlling, abusive father.

This meant, he said, that salvation was impossible unless one spoke that precise name, the name of "Jesus Christ of Nazareth."

I'm not sure how Fred's friend reached that interpretation. I assumed the phrase referred to the person of Jesus and not his name.

Antichrist stories are, in a sense, a bit like vampire stories.

Again I'm reminded of "The Omen" and the specific method for destroying Damien - Bugenhagen may have simply been a version of Van Helsing. I admit I didn't make the connection with vampires when I first read the Omen books.

[Spalanzani]

As a reminder, those who want a quick and easy way to view any of Fred's past LB posts, and are frustrated in doing so by the new pagination system, just use Right Behind's handy-dandy archive.

[Tonio]

But surely Buck's right not to go the whole way on a first date?

Now I imagine God sounding like Barry White...

[Vermic]

"Transaction" makes me think of "quid pro quo" and that, in turn, makes me imagine Hannibal Lecter as the God-figure in LB's cosmology. Speak respectfully, spill your innermost shame to him, unpack all his anagrams, and he'll smirk and give you enough answers to get by. And maybe he won't eat you once he's loose in the world again.

[Nobody_Special]

But surely Buck's right not to go the whole way on a first date?

Now I imagine God sounding like Barry White...

I've heard people say that
Too much of anything is not good for you, baby
Oh no
But I don't know about that
There's many times that we've prayed
We've shared prayers and sang psalms
It doesn't seem to me like it's enough
There's just not enough of it
There's just not enough
Oh oh, babe . . . .

[Jon]

They are two opposing mirrors, with nothing in between.

And these are dangerous, as Granny Weatherwax will tell you.

[Amaryllis]

More on this much later, when we get to some of the sequels (if the Lord tarries and/or we live that long).

So Left Behind Friday will continue after the end of Book One! Sounds like a prophecy to me, anyway. From Fred's mouth to God's ear.

[Ursula L]

"Nobody can force you or badger you into this, Mr. Williams, but I must also say again that we live in perilous times. We don't know how much pondering time we have."

Ah, but they do know how much pondering time they have! The PMD checklist gives them seven years. And they know which types of divine torture will happen in-between, when, and in what order.

In the entire history of humanity, there probably have been few people who had as clear an idea of how much pondering-time they have as these post-Rapture PMD RTCs. Particularly when facing ordinary death, versus someone condemned to execution as a criminal.

It is strange, that so much of the PMD theology is based on the desire to know the unknowable, and avoid the unavoidable, and yet L&J trot out the same old hit-by-a-bus insecurities to try to make their point.

[PurpleGirl]

The use of the word transaction reminds me of transactional analysis... But of course our authors wouldn't be using that psychological paradigm, would they?

...we live in perilous times...

let me go in there and face the peril!

[Spherical Time]

Jon: And these are dangerous, as Granny Weatherwax will tell you.

Or Mrs. Zimmerman from Bellairs.

Tonio: The motif I've always received from the Old Testament is of God as the impatient, controlling, abusive father.

It's odd that there's such an important division between the Old and New testaments, isn't there. You'd think that single inspiration would provide only one depiction or the other, and not both in different sections.

Tonio: I'm not sure how Fred's friend reached that interpretation. I assumed the phrase referred to the person of Jesus and not his name.

I think you'd be surprised at how many U.S. Evangelicals and Fundamentalists believe that they are the direct descendants of the apostles, and that whatever they say or do is perfect and inerrant for the simple reason that they're born again and therefore can't be tempted or led astray.

Therefore, if they speak English, that must be the language that God wants them to speak. And if you need to know Jesus' name, it must be Jesus Christ of Nazareth in English, not any other language.

[Craig]

That raises the question of who now is serving as New Hope Village Church's visitation pastor. That ministry is more important than ever here in the traumatized post-Event world.

Oh, come on, Fred. LaJenkins clearly established that the unnamed sinners in the world are happy that they now have fewer filial obligations, thus freeing more of their spare time and energy for abortion parties, or (Christian) church burnings, or whatever irredeemable heathens do these days.

[lou]

Antichrist stories are, in a sense, a bit like vampire stories. Just as every new storyteller must reinterpret the vampire legends, deciding which parts to keep and which to revise (crosses, garlic, sunlight, mirrors, wood, running water, invitations, etc.), so too every new Antichrist storyteller must do the same -- whether, as here, in fiction or in purportedly non-fiction "prophecy" studies. Both kinds of stories are based on various, sometimes contradictory legends and neither (despite LaHaye's claims) can rely on any actual or canonical account that establishes the "real" characteristics of such monsters.

I'm really struck by that as well. Back when I was growing up fundy and reading Hal Lindsey, the antichrist was supposed to be Jewish. Now he's supposed to be Roman? when did that happen? I also wondered how the PDMers contorted themselves when the EU well surpassed 10 nations. Lindsey was predicting it was the 10-crowned beast. etc.

[Hawker Hurricane]

More of "the slash writes itself"!

And the "All the RTCs sound alike" reminds me of the Pod People in a 1950's scifi movie which they've now remade 3 times too many. But you knew that, and probably can remember the title.

OT God does sound like a abusive parent. Jesus sounds like a nice guy (Be excellent to one another!), but Saul/Paul goes back to the "Love me like I want to be loved, or I'll lock you in the basement!" attitude.

[Vermic]

Bruce knows they have seven years at most, but it's possible -- even likely -- that a person could bite the dust much earlier than that, what with the plagues and beasts and Antichrist-thugs and so forth. The Metaphorical Bus is still out there, if anything even bigger and closer.

[McWyrm]

How, exactly, do you parse the difference between a marriage metaphore and a transaction metaphore? The marriage metaphore contains and gives rise to the transaction metaphore. There is no way to separate the two.

Marriage is a special case of transaction, and historically marriage has been an essentially financial/political matter. In fact, marriage was primarily a financial/political transaction when the KJV (and every other translation into the vernacular) was written.

[chaos_engineer]

I'm a Christian, but I have never in my life heard salvation referred to in this way. I was never a PMD or fundamentalist, however, but I suspect that even most of those who are don't use the term in this way. Maybe those with a PMD background can enlighten me, though??

I think I have to take part of the blame for this one. The original phrasing was something like "free gift of salvation". But us smart-alecky skeptics would say things like, "If it's free, then that means I can just agree to accept it (if it exists), with no further obligation. Great! Now I'm all set with your religion, so we don't need to discuss it further. I'd better get going; there are still a lot of other religions that I need to get right with."

In order to continue the conversation, an evangelist would have to say that you can't just accept the gift; you have to accept an obligation that comes with it. The combination of "gift"+obligation is just another way of saying "transaction".

[Tonio]

Lindsey was predicting it was the 10-crowned beast.

Don't forget the great rubbing of parts.

[Tonio]

Lindsey was predicting it was the 10-crowned beast.

Don't forget the great rubbing of parts.

[Jesurgislac]

Nobody_Special wins the thread.

And in the first comment, too! Is this a Slacktivist record?

This meant, he said, that salvation was impossible unless one spoke that precise name, the name of "Jesus Christ of Nazareth."

To avoid confusion with all the other Jesus Christs out there, you must specify which one. Hope there weren't two Jesus Christs in the village. ("Oh no, man! Jesus Christ the Savior lives two doors down!")

Teasing him a bit, I reminded him that the book of Acts was written in Greek, and that Peter was most likely speaking in Aramaic, so if salvation required the pronunciation of that precise set of syllables, then saying it in English wouldn't seem to count. This clearly troubled him. I'm fairly sure he went home to look up those magic words in Greek and Aramaic, reciting them again just to be safe.

Hee.

[car]

Apropos of nothing this week, I heard an NPR story on the Pope today and, I kid you not, they said that the Pope gave a statement "in all the official languages of the U.N." I thought oh no! Nicolae's taken over Ratzi!

[practicallyevil]

Or, rather, for the kind of commitment and relationship Buck might have been considering were it not for the metaphor that supercedes that one here and throughout Left Behind -- the idea of a "transaction" initiated by "the prayer." Not just prayer, but the prayer -- the right prayer, the Magic Words.

So let me get this straight, the Premillenial dispensationalists believe in a powerful, magical being, who excepts their soul in a transaction, and in exchange for their soul, and life time of obligation to serving the will of this magical being, they receive the benefit of having those who don't agree with them/wronged them suffer, while attempting to side step death like a coward? Is the Secret Special prayer, "I pledge my eternal soul to Satan?"

[Karen]

here is an interesting take on the RTC view of marriage. I particularly like how he "protects" her from her own 'lofty ambitions.' "Who do you think YOU are?" as term of endearment.

It's kind of a stretch to connect that woman to today's LB post. Fred mentioned that marriage is a frequent metaphor for God's love. I think the woman I referenced has a marriage much more like LB would want us to have with God.

[Spalanzani]

car: "Apropos of nothing this week, I heard an NPR story on the Pope today and, I kid you not, they said that the Pope gave a statement "in all the official languages of the U.N." I thought oh no! Nicolae's taken over Ratzi!"

Yes, but did he say them in alphabetical order?

[mcc]

He accepted that that would be part of it, that it would signal the transaction and start his relationship with God

The way they phrase this, I actually find myself when I see the word "transaction" interpreting it not in the context of contracts or sales, but rather database programming.

The "transaction" is actually a primitive used to group operations in SQL-based relational database systems. The idea is that you load up the database engine with a series of commands, and then you "commit" the transaction, at which point all the commands you entered execute together as a unit; if anything goes wrong while the transaction is executing, the database engine "rolls back" to the point it was at before the transaction started, as if nothing had ever happened. (This last bit is so that if the transaction has to stop because of an error, the debris from your half-finished transaction isn't lying all over the database.)

People like me might tend to be kind of alarmed by the notion of a supposedly loving being that chooses to give some people eternal life and some eternal suffering. But there really isn't any choice involved for God in the notion of salvation L&J describe here, is there? Buck gets saved, not because of merit, not because of God's love, but because he committed a transaction and signaled the correct stored procedure. After that it's all clockwork. Prayers are programs. God is a computer.

[Kashmir]

I do agree with you Fred about how people use this to justify all of the prophecy scheming. I've heard it from evangelical teenagers who heard this, wondering if they were going to be "raptured" or the like, and how the beast rises to power and the like.

I urge all of you to go to Yahoo! Answers and type in "Left Behind" or "Rapture" and see what pops up. When I did it, most of it was young kids who were scared out of their minds of being left behind.

One more thing: If you go to the Left Behind website, they say that the books have saved more than 3,000 people.....it worries me that this is the brand of Christianity that people see in the news. Reminds me of the time (actually, a week ago) that had little tracks passed out by evangelicals saying something like "Are you ready to accept Jesus Christ as your personal saviour, or are you ready to spend an eternity in Hell" They asked you to check in the box which one was the right one. I actually started collecting them, but my girlfriend then had a point: she said, "Even if you disagree with them, it actually might help somebody." However, I didn't feel angry or anything over them; more like a deep sadness over the entire concept, and a deep pity for the person handing them out.

[Jacob Davies]

Ha, I heard the same thing on NPR just now about Ratzinger and had the exact same thought. Oh noes! He's here already!

[McMartin]

practicallyevil: You forgot the best part. Not only is there all that - but once it's all over, part of the deal is that the entity you pledge to gets your soul!

I'm pretty sure I've heard that deal before...

[Steven S.]

they say that the books have saved more than 3,000 people....

Y'know, if the figure they claim is that *low*, given how many have been sold, and the expectations of exaggeration...

...that's a really lousy "saved" rate. Which gives me new faith in humanity. ;)

[Consumer Unit 5012]

PracticallyEvil & McMartin: The Church of the SubGenius has been saying for YEARS that these people have Jesus and the devil ALL mixed up.

"Bob"'s word continues to ring true...

[ohiolibrarian]

car: "Apropos of nothing this week, I heard an NPR story on the Pope today and, I kid you not, they said that the Pope gave a statement "in all the official languages of the U.N." I thought oh no! Nicolae's taken over Ratzi!"

Yes, but did he say them in alphabetical order?

Considering the last Pope was also extremely polylingual, was he the inspiration for the antics of Nicky Mountain Range? Are LaHaye/Jenkins part of the crowd that reflexively hate Catholics and the Pope?

Also, though I can believe that the Pope is conversant in English, German, Italian, French, and Spanish, did he really also give the statement in Chinese and Arabic?

[greygelgoog]

RE: The Church Age that Jos asked about.
Pre-Millenial Dispensationalists believe that all of history is divided into 7 dispensations which last 1000 years. It's all there in the Bible if you squint and turn it upside down and then throw the whole thing on a bonfire. Each dispensation is a millenium with the exception of the Church Age because it is. If I wanted to be cynical I'd say the church age lasts indefinitely because if we were following the timeline correctly the universe as we know it would have ended a few years back. If I didn't want to be cynical then the only reason I can give for a Christian coming to this conclusion is that someone found a secret decoder ring with their KJV Bible.

[aunursa]

Steven S.: Y'know, if the figure they claim is that *low*, given how many have been sold, and the expectations of exaggeration...

...that's a really lousy "saved" rate. Which gives me new faith in humanity. ;)

I believe the primary purpose of the book was to preach to the choir. The saving of souls was almost an afterthought.

[R. Mildred]

This is baffling. It's like listening to someone describe himself inaccurately while looking into a mirror. (Perhaps that explains it, actually.)

Duuuuude, as some one who suffers from body dysmorphia I'm not sure whether to be offended by the comparison or to go "that sounds about right actually"

But it's not "body" dysmorphia per se really is it? It's a borderline psychotic form of neurosis yes, but what to call this specific form of neurosis?

Don't forget the great rubbing of parts.

Hands up everyone who misread that as "great rubber parts" at first *raises hand*

not that that's exactly worse, but the idea of a giant 10 horned BALLOON beast is just odd on a whole 'nother level really.

"Mr. Williams, I propose . . . "

"And I ACCEPT! Oh, you've made me the Happiest Investigative Reporter In The World!" Buck gushed.

"Oh Buck!"

"Oh Brucey-poo!"

Bruce Barnes then roughly grabbed Buck by the waist and pulled him into a deep, manly kiss, their tongues entwirling together for what seemed to Buck to be an eternity.

Finally they broke for air, their cheeks and loins hot and enflamed with a passionate sincerity for each other. For another brief eternity both of their eyes locked as they basked in each other's body heat and hten, as Bruce could no longer contain his sincerity for Buck, the Pastor-turned-grand-high-poomba broke contact with Buck's toned body, and in one powerful movement, sweeped the heaping pile of produce from the table they have been eating at and bodily picked the rakishly handsome journalist up and placed him down onto the table.

Their they embraced again, their hands roaming acorss each other's worldly flesh, as hands tore flack jacket and bowtie asunder in their fevered search for salvation...

And I'm stopping there for my sanities sake.

[greygelgoog]

I felt the need to research the dispensations a bit more so my answers wouldn't be so half-assed. Primarily I was trying to find an explanation on why the church age lasts until it ends while every other age has a clear start and conclusion. The only answer I could find was the Grace of God. What I think the idea is is that after the resurrection of Christ God decided to throw the entire pre-ordained plan out the window, presumably because more time means more souls can be saved (thereby increasing spiritual profit margins). But if PMDs essentially argue that God threw out the plan I'm a little lost on why the keep insisting on the importance of said plan.

[car]

did he really also give the statement in Chinese and Arabic?

He definitely did Arabic; they played an audio clip of that part, and needless to say that's a Very Big Deal what with the United States mucking up the whole Middle East and all. I tried to find which clip it was, but I don't have speakers on the computer I'm on and there were like a dozen stories on the Pope on All Things Considered today.

[Becky]

Are LaHaye/Jenkins part of the crowd that reflexively hate Catholics and the Pope?

Yes. In the LB books, there's a new Pope that starts basically trying to turn Catholicism into Protestantism. He is raptured because of his Protestant beliefs but most of the Catholic church is left behind. IIRC, the new Pope becomes the head of the new (evil!) One World Religion... either he is the head or he gives it his endorsement.

[LMM]

I'm not sure if that's supposed to a be little meta-joke there, a winking acknowledgment to the reader that the past 400 pages are filled with repetitious dialogue from often indistinguishable characters.

No, it's not. It's a clear admission that when Buck says the magic words, he too will become one of the Pod People.

My new hypothesis is that Jenkins is a closet atheist. These strange things we keep noticing were put in place on purpose, as hidden clues to the astute reader.

[aunursa]

Becky: the new Pope becomes the head of the new (evil!) One World Religion... either he is the head or he gives it his endorsement.

Both. IIRC A cardinal from the Cincinnati diocese (forgive me if the terminology is wrong) becomes the new pope. Happens in the sequel Tribulation Force.

[Soxglove Puppet]

in one powerful movement, sweeped the heaping pile of produce from the table they have been eating at and bodily picked the rakishly handsome journalist up and placed him down onto the table.

That drenching of butter could come in useful here.

[Jake]

@Kashmir: I actually started collecting them, but my girlfriend then had a point: she said, "Even if you disagree with them, it actually might help somebody."

If you'll forgive a godless heathen here, Kashmir, I fail to see how your girlfriend had a point. How, exactly, would these tracts help anyone?

[Kayte]

I must also say again that we live in perilous times. We don't know how much pondering time we have."

Sounds for all the world like a life insurance salesman here -- and for many of the same reasons.

What an enfeebled, snow-silenced, ash-gray world these PMD RTCs occupy. Makes them almost -- but not quite -- too pathetic to poke fun at.

[Kashmir]

@ Jake:

Well, she disagrees with the entire message as much as I do. But it was unfair for me in particular to make that judgement, when that tract might have a somewhat remote (very remote) chance of actually helping's someone's life.

And the thing is, I kinda agree with the entire deal. A person needs to be able to choose from their sources, not deprived of them. If a person who see's those things and automatically assumes that that represents the whole of Christianity, something must be amiss.

I never want to deprive anyone of their selection of choices, no matter how much I may disagree with the choices or methods. It simply isn't my place to do so.

[Nobody_Special]

Nobody_Special wins the thread.

And in the first comment, too! Is this a Slacktivist record?

Jesu,

Thank you for your comment. In future I may change my handle to Somebody_Special just for that.

[Amaryllis]

I posted this on one of the old threads earlier today, but I'm going to repeat it here anyway, just because it seems to fit and makes me laugh:

From today's Baltimore Sun: [The Pope] looked pleased, waving as he passed back across the infield and down into the dugout.