L.B.: Celebration & antidote

"If I knew I should die tomorrow, I would plant a tree today."
-- Martin Luther

As we near completion of Volume 1 of the World's Worst Books, some gesture seems in order.

Ideally, we would have a party. I'm imagining some kind of Come as Your Favorite Character costume affair (I call dibs on The Drunk Executive) and maybe a Rocky Horror-style audience participation viewing of Left Behind: The Movie (with optional LB drinking game). Good times.

Sadly, though, the geographical distribution of our virtual L.B. Friday community would make such a physical gathering impossible.

So instead I thought I might just plant some trees and invite you to join me.

I'm a big fan of Floresta, a mission and development agency that fosters economic development and reforestation in some of the world's poorest and most ecologically distressed countries. The bottom line is they plant trees. Trees are rather important:

Deforestation is a problem of growing significance all over the world. It is especially acute in tropical countries. All of us are affected by this problem, but no one more than the rural poor who make their living in and around the forest.

There are nearly a half-a-billion subsistence farmers worldwide. Constantly fighting starvation and utterly dependent on their environment for survival, they are often trapped in a vicious cycle of poverty and deforestation.

Threatened by land that no longer produces, rains that no longer come, and springs that are dry, they clear the forest for agriculture or sell charcoal to survive, further degrading their land.

And here's Floresta's own description of their work in Haiti:

Despite the seemingly endless bad news that comes out of Haiti, Floresta has been able to create an indigenously managed program that addresses the vicious cycle that has so many Haitians locked in poverty and despair.

In 1995, Floresta was invited by Episcopal priest Jean-Wilfrid Albert to provide agricultural and economic assistance to the communities in the region in which he worked, approximately 50 kilometers south of Port-au-Prince. Floresta responded and began working in Haiti in 1997.

Since then, Floresta Haiti has grown to an active local staff of 20, and has established a program that includes training in innovative agriculture techniques, reforestation, micro-credit, discipleship and marketing assistance for a growing number of rural Haitian communities.

Floresta has empowered local communities to plant over 200,000 trees and create over 2,000 compost piles, resulting in a dramatic increase in crop yields. In addition, under the supervision of Floresta, farmers have established village banking cooperatives with credit and savings systems in 35 villages with nearly 1000 participants.

You can read more about Floresta here.

Floresta's tree-planting investment in Haiti and its people is just about the perfect opposite of the the triumphalistic gospel of despair embodied in the Left Behind books.

Left Behind is based on the idea of spiritual self-preservation in a world that's going to end any day now. Floresta is based on the idea of serving others and investing, tangibly and incarnationally, in the future of this world.

LB alternately ignores or rejoices in the suffering of the anonymous millions; Floresta seeks to help them, one by one, community by community.

In LB, Jesus is a weapon of mass destruction; Floresta's Jesus says that the reign of God is like a seed.

LB revels in its prophesied calamities and its apocalyptic nightmare world where the Wormwood-poisoned water is undrinkable and the trees of the fields all perish. Floresta looks at Haiti, a place where such calamities seem already to have occurred, and they roll up their sleeves and set to work trying to rebuild and restore.

So anyway I'm looking into setting up some kind of click-to-donate sidebar button thingy, maybe via Yahoo for Good, as a way of passing the virtual collection plate for Floresta's tree-planting programs in Haiti. (I may also set up a parallel option for Global Releaf, for those who prefer their tree-planting not to be entangled with church planting). I hope to have this ready to go before we finish the remaining 30-or-so pages of Volume 1.

Please let me know if you think this is a good idea.

P.S.: Just to clarify, finishing Vol. 1 is a milestone -- something we started all the way back in 2003 -- but not the conclusion of LB Fridays. The authors have, unfortunately, written more than a dozen sequels, prequels and spin-offs. Plus there are the movies. After Vol. 1, my plan is to turn to the movie version of the first book, and then, if the Lord tarries, back to print for Vol. 2, etc.

- - - - - - - - -

The illustration above is a wood carving by Michael McCurdy, the cover illustration from Jean Giono's The Man Who Planted Trees, which is one of my Favorite Things.

Comments

[Daniel Harper]

That sounds like a great idea. I'd chip in a few bucks as a way of saying "Thank You" for the beauty of your LB posts.

[patter]

Great idea! And I call dibs on the Sensible-Shoe Lady.

[Whisper]

Long time reader, first time poster. I think it's a great idea - I'd throw some money in.

[MikhailBorg]

I think it's a lovely idea, though I now want to find somewhere local and actually plant a tree. That would be pretty cool.

Dibs on Hattie of Babylon.

[PurpleGirl]

I think this is a great idea too. Their work sounds soul/heart-enriching for the donor to know they are affecting lives in such a positive manner.

(I read a knitting blog called YarnHarlot written by Stephanie Pearl McFee. She wrote about her favorite charity (Doctors Without Borders) just after the Tsunami and in two years her readers have contributed some $434,439.41, which might be higher now because she asks her readers to send her an e-mail when they make donations so she can update the amount and she does this periodically.)

[PurpleGirl]

Ack, that's Stephanie Pearl-McPhee.....

[Jesurgislac]

So anyway I'm looking into setting up some kind of click-to-donate sidebar button thingy, maybe via Yahoo for Good, as a way of passing the virtual collection plate for Floresta's tree-planting programs in Haiti. (I may also set up a parallel option for Global Releaf, for those who prefer their tree-planting not to be entangled with church planting).

I'd prefer the latter option, but for you, Fred - in recognition of the sterling work done plunging into awful prose - I'd do the former... it's actually Yahoo I find more objectionable than religion. ;-)

I like planting trees.

[LauraJMixon]

I've been enjoying your LB posts for years, now, Fred. I'm going to miss them. I hope you'll consider doing something similar with another work... if the spirit moves you. :)

[Robert]

I'll donate.

I want to be the cab driver that took them by the cluttered-up parking garage.

[Vermic]

I remember reading about the Hatian deforestation problem in Jared Diamond's Collapse. This is a great idea, Fred.

Dibs on the henpecked husband who unwittingly videotapes the rapture of his unborn child.

[Apsaras]

A marvelous idea. And here's hoping the end of Volume 1 doesn't mean the end of L.B. Fridays.

[Robert]

PS I have lived and worked in Haiti for a year. Planting trees is very necessary, especially if you can do it together with local communities.

[Keith]

This is a fantastic idea! I like the Global Relief option for us secularists. I like to help out in ways that are non affiliated, spiritually speaking.

[Praline]

Great idea. I already made a donation, because they look great.

I kind of like Bruce Barnes. He's on more naturalistic scale than most of the others, he's scared and doing his best. He's a bit of a twerp, but considering the environment he was raised in, perhaps it's not his fault. He's just a small man trying to do his best.

[lonespark]

I'm pretty broke, but supportive to a small degree.
Is lesbian taken?

[lonespark]

Er, the would be the lesbian, the one with the sensible shoes, in Buck's office?

[Robb]

I'll totally drop some $ for that! Floresta looks amazing - dammit, I'm so envious of people doing meaningful things with their lives.

*****

Come as Your Favorite Character costume affair

I'll be Eric Miller's soggy corpse!

[Amaryllis]

A wonderful idea. I'd participate.

OT for trees, but generally LB:
Call me a monolingual, ethnocentric American, but I just realized that "La Haye" is a French name for the city also known as The Hague/Den Haag/s-Gravenhage. So our author does have a geographical name after all! He must be from The Netherlands!

And not just any city, but The Hague. The "legal capital of the world!" The "city of international peace and justice!" If ever a city is ready to spawn the dreaded One World Government, it's The Hague.

Hah.

[David]

Hah! Looks like the response is already pretty clear, but I agree... I'll just say, after your description, I was all set to donate and was thinking "hmm, how much can I spare this month?" before seeing the donation link isn't set up yet. Doh! ;) So... yeah, go for it!

[hapax]

What a lovely antidote to all the trees that were slaughtered to print this slop.

I wanna be the waiter bribed by Captain "Big Tipper" Steele.

[Catherine]

I'll go as that woman who wore sensible shoes and worked at the Global Weekly.

[Praline]

If ever a city is ready to spawn the dreaded One World Government, it's The Hague.

Tee hee. Maybe LaHaye is pulling a brilliant confidence trick: making everybody think the Antichrist will be like Nicolae - you know, multicultural, sophisticated, peace-preaching, all the things LaHaye isn't - to cover his own Evil Plans to end the world. Secretly, it will be LaHaye who brings the Apocalypse!

Mind you, if it comes to that, a friend of mine pointed out that, according to David Icke's conspiracy theories, I'm a reptile. (He claims that the Master of Middle Temple is a reptile, my dad held that position for a year, and presumably reptilianism is inherited.) Anyone else here not what they ssssseem? :-)

And hooray for continued LB Fridays! Fred, we love you. :-)

[noyatin]

Sounds like a great idea, Fred. I'll be happy to contribute.

Dibs on the receptionist at the Pan-Con Lounge,

[Leigh]

This is a great idea, I would donate either way.
Here's to L.B. Fridays! After the book is it still the plan to go to the movie?

[Praline]

Ooh, I know how we can party online! We need to replicate Nicolae's Alphabet Song. We can go through the nations, and when we hit our particular one, we can stand up, applaud, and stay there till our feet get tired...

[damnedyankee]

I remember how things would get a bit hissy at Rocky Horror when two Columbias*, for example, would show up as part of the floor show. I hope this doesn't happen when a number of people show up as telephones at the Left Behind wrap party.

However, I must insist that somebody be Meta-Hattie and Meta-Chloe, who arrive together, hopefully in a rented Metamobile.

*- Or - God forbid! - two Franks.

[X]

I'll go as one of the "someone"s Rayford is always talking with/around. What do you suppose they look like? Short and fat? Tall and swarthy? Hair on fire? Anteaters with spats and fairy wings?

[SueW]

I'll donate. And since Ms. Sensible Shoes is spoken for, I'm coming as Irene!

Excuse me while I go crochet some doilies.

[damnedyankee]

I shall be the cookie vendor, complete with prosthetic makeup suggesting that I gouged my eyes out after witnessing the Worst Romantic Scene Ever.

[MikhailBorg]

Anyone else here not what they ssssseem?

I'm a Dero, but don't tell anyone.

(Actually, I've always wondered if the Dero were part of the inspiration for the original Greyhawk Drow in AD&D... along with Scottish folklore, of course.)

[damnedyankee]

Make that the Worst Ostensibly Romantic Scene Ever (WORSE).

[McJulie]

I want to be Meta-Hattie!

The metas can be in the background and just hang around until they're needed, then suddenly regular Hattie and Chloe will just stop and the metas will take over for a while -- like a soliloquy.

Would fair use allow for a stage play called "The Worst Play in the World" that was based, not on Left Behind, but on Left Behind Fridays?

Trees are grand.

And best wishes to MikhailBorg.

[Jack Grey]

I'm in for donating - and I want dibs on Nicolae.

::Focuses mind powers:: "You will find that I'm extremely charming and very trustworthy. Give me all your weapons."

...Actually, since I wouldn't be able to travel, I'd have to come as one of the Raptured. That wouldn't be much of a challenge to my non-existent acting abilities: I could be smug and invisible at the same time!

[Robb]

complete with prosthetic makeup suggesting that I gouged my eyes out after witnessing the Worst Romantic Scene Ever.

Ha ha! Now someone needs to be Rayford's suicidal co-pilot - complete with fake blood spurting arteries. And we need to have a Stonegal & Todd-Cothran post-gsw pair...

I am so throwing an LB themed Halloween party this year.

[damnedyankee]

Anyone else here not what they ssssseem?

Well, I happen to be a Skrull. That's kind of our gig, doncha know.

[alicae]

I'm down with the whole donating trees thing. I may start looking around town to see if there is anything similar (I'm in the desert, so I don't know if trees would be the right thing to do) to do my small part here.

As for the costume party, someone claimed the receptionist at the Pan-Con lounge, so I could go as Buck's secretary lady. She seems like fun. :)

[Robert]

If ever a city is ready to spawn the dreaded One World Government, it's The Hague.

I have actually lived in The Hague. Rumours that we are trying to build One World Government or any other plans for World Domination from there are utterly, entirely and completely false. And if it is you who spread these rumours, we'll know how to find you ;-)

[Therese Norén]

I call dibs on the doctor in the airport lounge, who patches up small wounds when people are dying. ("That will teach those triage people!")

When this grand project is done, I'll donate to a tree planting organisation I care for, The Vi Agroforestry Programme that works in the area around Lake Victoria.

[damnedyankee]

If not dressed as phones themselves, somebody should come as Ernestine in order to acknowledge the indispensible contribution of the telecommunications industry to the proceedings.

[aunursa]

I'll be sure to donate to Floresta.

I'll go as Cameron "Buck" Williams, since "bucking the system" seems to be my default role on this forum. And I love Tucson, Arizona -- Buck's hometown.

[Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little]

What a wonderful idea, Fred. I'd be honored to donate.

I'll join the Irene choir, as I already tat doilies.

[Nicole J. LeBoeuf-Little]

I'll go as Cameron "Buck" Williams, since "bucking the system" seems to be my default role on this forum.

*boggle*

The irony! It burns!

[David]

I hope this doesn't happen when a number of people show up as telephones at the Left Behind wrap party.

*Snort*

It should be fine, we'll need at least one for every other character who shows up...

[kodiak]

This blog is the one I forward most to friends and relatives.... and I've had to do it yet again!

(oh and Purplegirl, the yarnharlot total should certainly be higher, I donated more than a month ago and it hasn't been updated, and she's just been on tour and hasn't added any of that $$ to the total either.

I think the best part of her story is that it took 2 or 3 years for her to get to her first goal of $125,000 and when she re-set the goal to $250,000 she was told not to be dissapointed if she couldn't meet it... they were knitters after all and not to expect too much... ya, so she posted that on her website... 72 hours later she had burst past $250,000 and was still going strong!) /knitterly geekiness

[aunursa]

Just to clarify, finishing Vol. 1 is a milestone -- something we started all the way back in 2003 -- but not the conclusion of LB Fridays. The authors have, unfortunately, written more than a dozen sequels, prequels and spin-offs. Plus there are the movies.

There's enough material to keep our host busy until Jesus' return...

13: The Rising (prequel)
14: The Regime (prequel)
15: The Rapture (prequel)
1: Left Behind
2: Tribulation Force
3. Nicolae
4. Soul Harvest
5. Apollyon
6. Assassins
7. The Indwelling
8. The Mark
9. Desecration
10. The Remnant
11. Armageddon
12. Glorious Appearing
16. Kingdom Come

Movies:
1. Left Behind
2. Left Behind II: Tribulation Force
3. Left Behind III: World at War

Military Spinoff (author Mel Odom)
1. Apocalypse Dawn
2. Apocalypse Crucible
3. Apocalypse Burning

Political Spinoff (author Neesa Hart)
1. End of State
2. Impeachable Offense
3. Necessary Evils

Kid's Series -- 40 graphic novels that parallel the LB series, with several cameos by our favorite characters. (In addition, one of the junior Tribulation Force members is the teenage son of Buck's colleague Lucinda Washington.)

[aunursa]

Nicole: The irony! It burns!

Touché.

[Spalanzani]

Well since the airport doctor is already taken, I'll be Left Behind's evil robot Jesus of mass destruction.

[Raj]

A Rocky Horror type party would SO-O-O-O RULE! I could come as Dr. Rosesbloominthedesert. I could wear a lab coat covered with plastic vines or other fake plants, and maybe even a piece of faux foliage (fauxliage?) as a wig!

Speaking of foliage: yes, Fred, I will participate in our virtual community's tree-planting effort; either via one of the channels you've suggested or in some other way.

[Muse of Ire]

I want to be Marge's husband, the only person we've seen so far who isn't impressed with the inCOMparable Buck Williams.

Of course, I'd have to come in drag, but I don't think that would be a problem for this crowd.

If I were younger and better looking, I'd definitely opt for Meta-Hattie.

[Headless Unicorn Guy]

Left Behind is based on the idea of spiritual self-preservation in a world that's going to end any day now.

That's what you get when your Gospel is reduced to Personal Salvation and ONLY Personal Salvation.
i.e. "Let everything else in the cosmos DIE and go to Hell -- I'm SAVED!" Selfishness and Spiritual Pride together -- a Win-Win situation.

P.S. "Triumphalistic Gospel of Despair" -- now THAT's a good line!

Just to clarify, finishing Vol. 1 is a milestone -- something we started all the way back in 2003 -- but not the conclusion of LB Fridays. The authors have, unfortunately, written more than a dozen sequels, prequels and spin-offs. Plus there are the movies.

12 Volumes in the core series, plus a prequel trilogy, a sequel, and two officially-sanctioned shared-universe knockoff trilogies; total 22 Volumes. Plus around 40 volumes of LB: The Kids YA spinoffs, the comics, the movies, and the computer game.... Never since Slave Girls of Gor has a background universe been so obsessively chronicled in such psychotic detail.

This might burn you out, Slack, but I'd go with both LB: Volume 2 as the main thread and the juvies/movies/comics/etc on the side, as they are technically derivative works. Either way, you'll have to pick up the pace a bit; not counting your hiatus, Volume 1 took YEARS to go through. Maybe do one of the juvies (which should be shorter) as filler while resting up for the next big volume?