L.B.: Dear Captain

Left Behind, pp. 438-440

New Hope Village Church's Sunday service is drawing SRO crowds.

Rayford and Chloe watched for Buck until the last minute the next morning, but they could no longer save a seat for him when the sanctuary and the balcony filled. When Bruce began his message, Chloe nudged her father and pointed out the window, down onto the walk before the front door. There, in a small crowd listening to an external speaker, was Buck. Rayford raised a celebratory fist and whispered to Chloe, "Wonder what you're going to pray for this morning?"

(Out of sympathy for Chloe's embarrassment, we'll just ignore Rayford here and pretend that whole fist-pumping bit didn't happen.)

Post-Event I would think every house of worship would be jammed with overflow crowds like this one. This is one of the things we humans do in the wake of tragedy -- we gather together, often in churches. One baby trapped in a well will fill every pew in town for a week. The Event is a much bigger deal -- imagine every baby and young child on the planet lost down that well.

A mere 13 days after The Event, the world would still be reeling from the trauma and the impulse to gather together and hold vigils would be overwhelming. People wouldn't be able to hold vigils at the scene of The Event because it happened everywhere and nowhere. Churches would thus be the most likely place for such vigiling to occur -- they're easy to find, open to the public, and they've already got candles and experience conducting this sort of thing. Schools might be another gathering place* -- somewhere people could leave notes at impromptu shrines piled high with flowers, candles and stuffed animals. But those empty schools might also be a bit too much, too overwhelming. All those stuffed animals mouldering in the rain -- the last of the pre-Event plush manufactured before the stuffed-animal companies closed their doors on a world without children.

So even though most Americans don't go to church on most Sundays, most would likely do so on the Sundays following The Event. Out of civil custom, if not religious conviction, they would have swarmed their local churches and thus, rather quickly, people would have begun to notice a pattern -- an undeniable, unmistakable clustering of missing adults at many of these churches. Each of those churches would have their own versions of Bruce or Loretta, people who could tell them what had happened.

Every local paper would've soon been reporting this story, some reporting it as theory, but more than a few likely reporting it as fact, supported by the evidence that only certain adults of a particular kind seemed to be among the vanished. That evidence would make this explanation far more convincing than Nicolae's official story about electromagnetic something or other.

The Rapture theory would thus have been old news long before Buck even started on his Global Weekly story. While Bruce was conducting secret meetings with his inner-core core-groups, Loretta would be appearing on Larry King Live, playing the in-case-of-rapture video for the entire country.**

None of that happens here in Left Behind, of course. All those other towns are filled with Other People and the authors don't really care or wonder about Other People all that much. They imagine that New Hope Village Church is an exception -- perhaps the only church drawing such crowds. But even the Other People filling New Hope's sanctuary barely register in this story:

Bruce played the former pastor's videotape, told his own story again, talked briefly about prophecy, invited people to receive Christ, and then opened the microphone for personal accounts. As had happened the previous two weeks, people streamed forward and stood in line until well after one in the afternoon, eager to tell how they had now, finally, trusted Christ.

Chloe told her father she had wanted to be first, as he had been, but by the time she made her way down front the last row of the balcony, she was one of the last.

That's verbatim: "... she made her way down front the last row of the balcony." And so is "the previous two weeks," even though The Event happened 13 days ago, on a Monday night, and I'm pretty sure you can't fit three Sundays into 13 days.

Perhaps this would be a good time to mention again that Jerry Jenkins runs a writing school, with a starting tuition of only $1,365. Their critique service is also available to non-students. For just $30, "a team of writing professionals" will "evaluate your work on the basis of five core issues: Proper language usage, Pacing, Presentation, Purpose and Persuasiveness of the content." (In Jenkins' defense, "Continuity" isn't one of their five core issues.)

Chloe "told her story, including the sign she believed God had given her in the form of a friend who sat beside her on the flight home."

These folks really know how to bury the lede. Chloe's "sign" from God isn't really all that compelling when compared to what everyone in the room witnessed firsthand 13 days ago. Worse than that is the way Bruce never seems to move beyond a basic I-told-you-so message about the Rapture. He told Buck this is the same theme he plans to preach every Sunday. If I were one of those Other People gathered at New Hope I wouldn't be nearly as interested in this endless rehashing of prophecies fulfilled as I would be in prophecies yet to come. What happens next? Bruce knows, but he's not telling. And the congregation knows he knows, but they're not asking. This is deeply weird -- particularly since part of what Bruce knows is that everyone in that room will be dead within six years, 11 months and 19 days, and most sooner than that.

When the meeting was over, Rayford and Chloe went outside to find Buck, but he was gone. They went for lunch with Bruce, and when they got home, Chloe found a note from Buck on the front door.

Closer inspection would also likely have revealed footprints and cigarette butts in the shrubbery outside of Chloe's bedroom window. I'm joking. There's nothing creepy at all about the idea of him avoiding contact with them at the church, then looking up their home address and driving to their house to leave a note while they're not there. Nothing creepy at all about that.

It isn't that I didn't want to say good-bye. But I don't. ...

That's how the note begins. The odd lack of a salutation there has the same presumed familiarity as starting a phone conversation, "Hi, it's me." I wouldn't recommend using "Hi, it's me" after only one date.

That lack of salutation also means there was a 50/50 chance that Rayford, rather than Chloe, would've found this note first. The fact that the entire note is included in this Rayford-POV section implies, at least, that he must've read it after his daughter did. The end of this section is much more entertaining, though, if we imagine that Capt. Steele found the note first, believing it was addressed to him:

... I'll be back for bureau business and maybe just to see you, if you'll allow it. ...

"Hmm," Rayford thinks. "Perhaps my passionate sincerity has begun to persuade him and he wants to hear more about my new-found faith. ..."

... I've got a lot to think about right now, as you know, and frankly, I don't want my attraction to you to get in the way of that thinking. And it would. ...

"Oh, my," Rayford thinks, remembering that Buck did look strangely sweaty the other night at the restaurant. ...

You are a lovely person, Chloe ...

Oh, phew. "Honey, I think this is for you."

You are a lovely person, Chloe, and I was moved to tears by your story. You had told me before, but to hear it in that place and in that circumstance this morning was beautiful. Would you do something I have never asked anyone to do for me ever before? ...

"Oh, my," Chloe thinks, remembering that Buck did look strangely sweaty the other night at the restaurant. ...

... Would you pray for me?

Oh, phew.

I will call you or see you soon. I promise. Buck.

I will see you soon. I promise. And now I know where you live.

- - - - - - - - - - - -

* The Event took place at night here in the States, but I'd imagine a very different atmosphere at school buildings in those countries where it took place during school hours. There school buildings would be cordoned off with police tape as moon-suited government investigators armed with geiger-counters and EMF-readers scoured the kindergarten desks for some clue as to What Happened. And what of the teachers, left bewildered in their suddenly empty classrooms? Some would have gone mad. Others would have been arrested and interrogated, and still others scapegoated and slaughtered by angry mobs. ...

** LaHaye's End Times check list does not allow for this kind of mass-conversion and religious revival, but I don't see any way for it not to happen given the scenario the authors present. And just ask Hezekiah or Jonah what that would mean -- what it always means when the threat of judgment produces repentance and revival. The shadow would move back ten steps and God would relent from sending calamity. Nicolae would be swept away like Sennacherib and poor old Tim LaHaye would be left muttering that he's angry enough to die.

Comments

[vanya]

The Event took place at night here in the States, but I'd imagine a very different atmosphere at school buildings in those countries where it took place during school hours.

LaHaye & Jenkins probable response to that: "Whaddya mean? It took place at night, not during school hours."

Fred: "Well there are, you know, time zones so in Japan it would have been day time..."

LH&J: "No, no, it took place at night."

Fred: "Yes, in the US, but in Europe or Asia..."

LH&J: "Doesn't matter, it took place at night, everywhere, you know, at the same time, at night."

Fred: "..."

[Fraser]

Your last footnote about mass revival staving off catastrophe. Interesting.

[smgt]

When I first saw that people were being asked to come forward and tell they're stories, I kinda thought that they'd be telling stories about the people that they'd lost. Like, well, humans might.

But no, these aren't humans. All their children ave been killed in one swoop and they're standing up to talk about how great it is that they've said their Magic Words.

[smgt]

And you know what? Thinking about Fred's first footnote, I'll bet a somewhat interesting book could be written about the rapture scenario. The characters would just have to act like people.

[lonespark]

Others would have been arrested and interrogated, and still others scapegoated and slaughtered by angry mobs.

I know Fred has spent a lot of time thinking about this whole scenario, but I'm guessing it didn't take him long to reason this out...a scenario that would make a heartrending, high-suspense book all by itself, and that L&J have doubtlessly never thought of.

Vanya is probably right. Also, Vanya is very funny.

[Jos]

people streamed forward and stood in line until well after one in the afternoon, eager to tell how they had now, finally, trusted Christ.

You know, the Rapture probably would convince me that Christianity is actually kind of true. That there is a God. That Jesus does exist.

However, I would also be convinced that those fuckin' bastards took my kids! so I'm not quite sure I would use the 'trust' here.

[Jos]

... the word 'trust', obviously...

[car]

Actually, Fred's idea, much more realistic that it is, would make a very short book. Children all raptured. Left behind adults either a) kill everyone they think is responsible or b) kill themselves from grief. Everyone dies. The end.

[Keith]

Also, schools and playgrounds would now be shrines. Walls of photos and teddy bears and signs and wreaths lining the sidewalks, making the fence out side of every schoolyard look like the Tomb of the Unknown soldier on Memorial Day.

[damnedyankee]

All those stuffed animals mouldering in the rain -- the last of the pre-Event plush manufactured before the stuffed-animal companies closed their doors on a world without children.

In light of such events, I wouldn't be surprised to see an uptick in stuffed animal sales after the Event. People take Junior's favorite toy badger as a symbol of what they lost when Junior vanished, and weren't we planning to take him to the toy store next week? Sales go up in the immediate aftermath, fueled by a shock-driven nostalgia. When people get on a more even keel, then the collectors get involved, driving sales of this or that particular toy as companies re-tool to get the attention of this particular market.

Not sustainable in the long run, of course, but they only have seven more years to worry about.

[yagowe]

Closer inspection would also likely have revealed footprints and cigarette butts in the shrubbery outside of Chloe's bedroom window. I'm joking. There's nothing creepy at all about the idea of him avoiding contact with them at the church, then looking up their home address and driving to their house to leave a note while they're not there. Nothing creepy at all about that.

"You know, contrary to one's self-involved world-view, your house happens to be directly between parts... and other parts of this town."

[damnedyankee]

And it's interesting to note how L&J just don't seem to get how creepy their approach to women is. In the real world, Buck's "romancing" of Chloe seems more likely to draw restraining orders than wedding bells. Of course, her father seems equally squick-inspiring, so maybe it's just paging Dr. Freud all over again...

[Lauren]

If you were thinking about it logically, wouldn't it make more sense for the Rapture to happen at night in Jerusalem if the "night" part of the equation was important? That way you could have your daytime, schooltime Rapture in the US, maybe just as the kids are arriving or leaving, maximizing the chaos.

I know, I know, logic and LB don't mix. But I'm wondering if the nighttime Rapture was a LaJenkins invention or Biblically sourced.

[damnedyankee]

If you were thinking about it logically, wouldn't it make more sense for the Rapture to happen at night in Jerusalem if the "night" part of the equation was important?

But the Book of Revelations speaks to all RTCs right here and now, and everyone knows that the R-est of RTCs are American!

Gah, I have to floss my brain now...

[Hawker Hurricane]

I'm not sure, but it looks like the Rapture occured at sunset, Jerusalem time...

(since the Hebrews measured days beginning at sunset, that kind of makes sense... sorta.)

No, not sunset... sunRISE. Which doesn't make as much sense.

We Appologize For The Inconvenience.

[Elmo]

The Event took place at night here in the States, but I'd imagine a very different atmosphere at school buildings in those countries where it took place during school hours.

Since God made the world stand still it wouldn't be all that hard to pull off the rapture all at once at the same local time everywhere and all in the twinkling of an eye.

[damnedyankee]

Since God made the world stand still it wouldn't be all that hard to pull off the rapture all at once at the same local time everywhere and all in the twinkling of an eye.

"A wizard did it."

"But what about-?"

"Wizard!"

[mcc]

Chloe "told her story, including the sign she believed God had given her in the form of a friend who sat beside her on the flight home." These folks really know how to bury the lede. Chloe's "sign" from God isn't really all that compelling...

Unless Chloe doesn't really mean it and was only saying that because she knew Buck was in the audience. Hm, that sounds a bit too subtle for L&J. Maybe Meta-Chloe has feelings for Buck too?

[Geds]

Maybe Meta-Chloe has feelings for Buck too?

Maybe Meta-Chloe is trying to get regular Chloe to listen to the story and realize how very absurd the whole thing sounds.

Chloe: "So I didn't really believe in god after the whole Israel nuking thing. I didn't believe in god after the whole kids disappearing thing. But after getting stalked by a creepy, sweaty news reporter I realized god really does exist and cares about me."

Meta-Chloe: "Do you...do you ever listen to yourself when you're talking?"

Chloe: "I didn't know that was allowed..."

[Spherical Time]

Hawker Hurricane: I'm not sure, but it looks like the Rapture occured at sunset, Jerusalem time...

(since the Hebrews measured days beginning at sunset, that kind of makes sense... sorta.)

No, not sunset... sunRISE. Which doesn't make as much sense.

We Appologize For The Inconvenience.

I was going to say, if it had happened at sunset in Israel, it would have been midday in the U.S. Just another instance of Jerry Jenkins setting the Earth spinning in the wrong direction in the Left Behind Universe.

smgt: And you know what? Thinking about Fred's first footnote, I'll bet a somewhat interesting book could be written about the rapture scenario. The characters would just have to act like people.

You haven't seen Right Behind yet, have you? Check it out. Some of the stories are really amazing (Personally, I love "Hattie's Story" by Jesurgislac).

[Rev Dave]

"poor old Tim LaHaye would be left muttering that he's angry enough to die"

I love the book of Jonah so naturally I love this image of LH as Jonah. He's just so damn mad that God seems to actually care about someone other than him.
Makes sense too: Jonah = worst prophet evah (see also, caricature of; satire, bitting) and as we all know LH = worst books evah.

I mean LB has to be a caricature of premillennial dispensational theology right? No one could actually take this crap seriously, right?

Wait, what?

[Vermic]

Still, I have to give Buck credit for leaving an actual, physical note instead of a telephone message. That's progress of a sort, isn't it?

[hapax]

All those stuffed animals mouldering in the rain -- the last of the pre-Event plush manufactured before the stuffed-animal companies closed their doors on a world without children.

I am sooo glad that Fred is innocently unaware of Certain Nameless Adults with a plushie addiction.

Whoops. I just posted that, didn't I? (facepalms)

[rcriii]

The Event happened 13 days ago, on a Monday night ...

Was it on Monday so that everyone had one last Sunday to get it right, or so that God had one last Sunday to check his list?

[SchrodingersDuck]

Since God made the world stand still it wouldn't be all that hard to pull off the rapture all at once at the same local time everywhere and all in the twinkling of an eye.

If that was the case, then the disappearance of the children would take place in a wave, which followed whatever time you choose (the sunrise/sunset terminator, or midnight, or midday, or whenever).

It would be odd, and probably against the Jenkins-LeHaysian idea of the apocalypse, but could potentially still make for interesting drama, as reports came in of a wave of disappearances slowly spreading around the world. There'd be panic, people fleeing from the east to the west, Europeans trying desperately to get to America, Americans trying to fly to Asia, just to escape the encroaching death (as far as they could see). And then, you'd have the lucky few children who happened to be crossing time zones and avoided being raptured - children whose lives would then be dominated by the hate, fear and envy of the parents who weren't so lucky. There'd be kidnappings, assassinations, probably all sorts of scientific testing, and the pain of outliving (again, as far as everyone knows) all their school friends.

[smgt]

Just imagine the horror in the eyes of the parents clutching their children as they wade into the Pacific surf, trying to escape the setting sun...

[MikhailBorg]

If that was the case, then the disappearance [...] would take place in a wave, which followed whatever time you choose (the sunrise/sunset terminator, or midnight, or midday, or whenever).

Ezekiel Sheaffer, private eye. A man who, for the last 13 days, has had less than 24 hours to live.

Ezekiel had heard the reports from the Middle East, and knew that when he next laid eyes on the rising sun, he'd be Raptured like all God-fearing folk.

But Ezekiel had a mission... a mission that even Jesus couldn't stop. Follow him as he races around the globe, always one step ahead of that cursed dawn, to find the killer of the woman he'd loved: in...

The Rapture Comes Early

Now in paperback, from Prophet-and-Loss Publications.

[Leigh]

SchrodingersDuck, that may be one of the scariest things I've read (as a mom of a little girl). I would LOVE to read that book.

[bulbul]

The Event took place at night here in the States
Well of course, what with the "like a thief in the night"...

There school buildings would be cordoned off with police tape as moon-suited government investigators armed with geiger-counters and EMF-readers
And there's my costume for the LB Vol. 1 Completion party!
As the former Eastern-European-dude-in-residence I was also thinking of coming as Nicolae (I, too, am a polyglot and I can learn the names of all the UN member countries by heart no problem), but let's face it, there is no way I resemble a young Robert Redford. Young John Candy, perhaps...

[Hawker Hurricane]

SchrodingersDuck: Why would God worry about human made time zones? Wouldn't God just pick a time ("Local Apparent Noon", "Sunset", "Moonrise") and have it sweep forward from there?

"Starting at sunset in Jerusalem, the children disappeared in a constant wave, vanishing with the sun, where ever they were located. It mattered not where they were; in basement bomb shelters or in fast moving aircraft, no child escaped the wave..."

(Unless... say we have a child in Jordan, who moves to a spot east of Jerusalem *after* sunset... no, I think God wouldn't let any escape. "Take no prisoners, leave no survivors" would be the motto of YHWH...)

[vanya]

MikhailBorg's book is brilliant. I want the film rights.

[Keith]

bulbul: even better! Left Behind would have been perfect if Nicky were described as a young John Candy. An affable, kinda dorky but good hearted Antichrist. Uncle Buck, but evil.

[Jeff]

I am sooo glad that Fred is innocently unaware of Certain Nameless Adults with a plushie addiction.

Since my girlfriend is another, one of each coast, then!

I'd pay $15 to read and see Mikhail's book, then movie!

[damnedyankee]

Ezekiel Sheaffer, private eye...

For some reason I'm picturing Solomon Kane, created by that veritable font of Macho Sue stories, Robert E. Howard.

[bulbul]

Keith,
actually, I was thinking of John Candy in Stripes :)

Mikhail's book would be perfect for TV - a Rapture version of 24.

[Amaryllis]

Minor usage nit: When Bruce began his message,
Whatever happened to "sermon"? Or even "homily"? although I just don't like the sound of that word as well, but at least it means what it means.

As the old movie-magnate quote used to go: If you want to send a message, use Western Union.
Though I suppose these days, what with the demise of Western Union's telegram service and all, if you want to send a message, your rapacious telecommunications conglomerate friendly CellPhoneCompany offers unlimited text messaging for one low, low monthly price.

[lonespark]

SchrodingersDuck and especially smgt are giving me chills.

[Keith]

I've always thought that if someone was giving a homily they should be handing out grits. Just me?

[cjmr]

Young John Candy, perhaps...

Thanks, bulbul, I just spit my drink across the room!

Nice to 'see' you, BTW.

[pointatinfinity]

your rapacious telecommunications conglomerate friendly CellPhoneCompany offers unlimited text messaging for one low, low monthly price.

L&J didn't imagine text messaging.

SRY NO SAID GDBY. NOT WANT. BRB 4 BB. C U SN. IF CAN. I THNK LOTS U R HOT. I CRY @ UR STORY. PLZ DO 1ST TIME 4 ME PRAY? C U SN OR TXT. BW.

[pointatinfinity]

Darn, the people I send texts to all pride themselves on using full sentences, so I am very much out of practice on txtspk conventions.

[Abelardus]

But no, these aren't humans. All their children ave been killed in one swoop and they're standing up to talk about how great it is that they've said their Magic Words.

This reminds me of Hal Lindsey's "There's A New World Coming" comic book -- one of the already raptured characters/narrators smugly comments how people will be turning to occultism after God has already sent down a number of His judgments. "God has given them a chance (to repent) and still they deny Him!" one quips. And I thought: "Well, God is acting like a giant douche bag -- I think I'd turn from religion altogether if God were really that vindictive."

And I was flipping through channels maybe last night and I stumbled on Left Behind: World At War -- basically a rehash of the last chapters of the second book, and starring Lou Gossett, Jr. as the president. One thing that struck me is how he made a comment about, how, after The Event: "Race, creed, nation -- suddenly they didn't matter!" And I thought that that seemed like something LH&J would put in the mouth of a political strawman. They don't even have another character say that, while this is true, that Carpathia is only using this to achieve his goals. Basically, I thought, because they didn't offer a counter-example, LH&J are saying that the bigots, the fanatics, the nationalists had it right all along. That's a stretch, I admit; but ...

OK, here's an example: Lately I've been reading Isaac Asimov's Forward the Foundation , the second and last of the prequels the man himself wrote. In the first part, the protagonists have to find a way to deal with a charismatic demagogue who, although he speaks of equality and democracy, is just using them to further his aims -- simply put, the demagogue doesn't really believe in what he says. One of the protagonists says as much: "Although these are good ideas, this man will probably not put them into practice if he's in power; he'll simply keep doing things as they've always been done -- to consolidate his power."

So you see that, whereas Asimov's characters agree with these ideals, they are quick to divide between ideals and individuals. What I got from the movie is that ideals and individuals are inseparable -- Nicolae proposes peace; therefore, peace is bad.

And finally, Johnny Pez, if you're online anywhere -- having read the Foundation series, I get the "Ozark Effect" stories. It's just like Foundation -- Nick predicted the electromagnetic backlash, and set about to cushion the fall if he couldn't prevent it outright. I just love it.

That's it for a while.

[Geds]

Whatever happened to "sermon"? Or even "homily"?

Well, "homily" reeks of catholicism. "Sermon" has been replaced by "message" in the evangelical and mega churches. I think it's because it sounds nicer and less threatening. "Sermons" tell you what to do. "Messages" are just a bunch of good ideas...

[Francis]

"Dear Captain" always makes me think of Aral Vorkosigan and Cordelia Naismith - who are two characters I don't want soiled by association with Left Behind.

That said, my brain's busy trying to insert Miles into the Left Behind universe and the results are most entertaining.

[bulbul]

cjmr,
sorry :) And thanks. I'm still around, just lurking.

[smgt]

I'm a fairly recent convert to the Episcopalians,(been hanging out with the from year, was confirmed Saturday) and the reason I really like the concept of the homily is that it's more than just a message or a set of nice suggestions. As a part of the liturgy, it's a unique bit of worship. The speaking, the listening, and the think about later, they're all a way of worshiping the Lord.

I just like it is all.

[smgt]

Oh, and on the "Rapture Wave" scenario, can't you just imagine an Irene Steele type, she's heard the narrator on CNN telling her the signs, she knows what's coming. She loads little Remy into the station wagon and heads East to intercept the wave a little sooner. She passes jammed highway after jammed highway, laughing at all the fools trying to escape the love of God.
She beaks into another chorus of "My God is an Awesome God" just as the last bit of sun drops behind the horizon, and nothing. She looks to the backseat to see the rumpled pile of her son's cloths and realizes that she has been...
LEFT BEHIND

[Robert]

English is not my first language, so could someone enlighten me on the meaning of "fist-pumping"? I am getting some rather disturbing images.

PS Fred's post is awful. As always.

[Robert]

English is not my first language, so could someone enlighten me on the meaning of "fist-pumping"? I am getting some rather disturbing images.

PS Fred's post is awesome. As always.