L.B.: The hidden display

Left Behind, pp. 456-458

I should start by acknowledging something remarkable about this passage: Jerry Jenkins succeeds in conveying some of what he's trying to get across. Nicolae Carpathia is genuinely creepy here, just as Jenkins intended. There are touches that actually work. Nicolae's calm, polite cold-bloodedness is effectively disturbing.

This isn't the first time we've encountered something creepy in these pages. Nearly every scene with Rayford, for example, is deeply disturbing. But this is the first time that Jenkins succeeds in being intentionally creepy -- still not creepy enough, perhaps, but to some extent legitimately creepy. Yes, the scene borrows heavily from things we've all seen before, and yes it goes on a bit too long, but on some basic level, this bit here works:

"Everyone be seated, please," Carpathia said, calm again. "Jonathan, on your knees."

Painfully, the old man crouched, using Hattie's chair for support. He did not face Carpathia or look at him. The gun was still in his ear. Hattie sat pale and frozen.

"My dear," Carpathia said, leaning toward her over Stonagal's head, "you will want to slide your chair back about three feet so as not to soil your outfit."

Part of the reason that little bit works a little bit is because it's understated. As we've seen time and again, Jenkins is capable of understatement, but he can never seem to leave it at that. Every time readers encounter something that seems subtle or nuanced, we're quickly reminded that Jenkins uses such light touches only as a one-two combination, a quick jab always followed by a big, sweeping, off-balance roundhouse.

Stonagal began to whimper. "Nicolae, why are you doing this? I am your friend! I am no threat!"

"Begging does not become you, Jonathan. Please be quiet. Hattie," he continued, looking directly into her eyes now, "stand and move your chair back and be seated. Hair, skin, skull tissue and brain matter will mostly be absorbed by Mr. Todd-Cothran and the others next to him. I do not want anything to get on you."

That seems less creepy and more just kind of gross.

Plus I think Nicolae is right about Jonathan Stonagal -- begging doesn't suit him. He shouldn't be the begging type, and "I'm no threat" is exactly the opposite of what he should be saying here. He's Jonathan Stonagal, after all, he owns banks and governments all over the world. He's the head of an international shadow-government conspiracy. It seems likely he's had a gun pointed at him before.

We've all seen this scene on television or at the movies enough times to be familiar with its conventions (which is a nicer word than "cliches"). The eerily calm master manipulator never flinches at the sight of the gun. He simply explains to the person with the gun why shooting him would run counter to their own best interest. He mentions intimate details about their friends and family members in a vaguely menacing way; he explains the consequences he has ensured will occur should anything unforeseen happen to him. He hints at secrets that would never be revealed if he were to die, and at secrets that he would no longer be able to conceal. He doesn't raise his voice and he doesn't beg. And he absolutely never whimpers or pleads for mercy on the basis of friendship.

We're supposed to accept here that Stonagal is surprised by Nicolae's sudden betrayal. That seems unlikely. First of all, Stoney didn't get to be where he is today as a global puppet-master by trusting anyone. He might have to rely on his associates and his deputies, but that's not the same as trusting them. He would anticipate the possibility of betrayal by any or all of them, and he'd have plans in place for that contingency. That seems doubly true in the case of his protege. He knows that Nicolae is capable of murderous betrayal because he, personally, taught him how to do it. So it seems unlikely that Stonagal could be caught off-guard like this.

Stoney is also well-acquainted with all of the dirt in Nicolae's past. He knows where the bodies are buried. Rather than whimpering and begging, he ought to be reminding his protege of that and advising him of the consequences of pulling the trigger -- such as perhaps the nonstop global broadcast, through his many-tentacled media empire, of every incriminating or embarrassing or career-ending detail of Nicolae's past. ("Remember that unfortunate situation in the Ukraine? I told you not to worry, that I'd take care of it? Well, she's still alive. Oh yes. She's almost 12 now, and the specialists think she may even be able to walk again some day. And that videotape? I'm afraid I may have exaggerated slightly when I told you that every copy had been destroyed. Although should anything unforeseen happen to me that tape would be the least of your problems ...")

Stonagal is supposed to be the great Machiavellian manipulator. What we needed to see here was Nicolae out-manipulating him, beating him at his own game. There ought to be a final chess match between these two evil megalomaniacs, ending with Nicolae's crowning "checkmate," but instead he just knocks the board over, scattering the pieces. That doesn't fit with the picture Jenkins is trying to paint of Nicolae as a calm, methodical mastermind carrying out a carefully devised plan.

This chapter's preoccupation with seating arrangements also undermines that image. Everyone comes into the room and Nicolae has them all take their seats just as he's arranged for them to do, orchestrating their every movement according to his master plan. Now at last, the pieces are all in place and his grand scheme can go into ... Wait. Sorry. Jonathan, you and I need to switch places. Right, good. Thanks.

OK, now at last the pieces are all in ... Hold on. Todd-Cothran, would you mind switching seats with Hattie? Just skooch over a little there ...

This game of musical chairs might have worked if Nicolae was supposed to be a capricious sadist -- a psychopath who took pleasure in toying with his victims before killing them. But that's not what the authors are shooting for here. Nicolae is supposed to be anything but capricious. He has a meticulous Master Plan. It's hard to worry about his nefarious Master Plan, though, when he can't even put together a proper seating chart.

Carpathia was in no hurry. "I am going to kill Mr. Stonagal with a painless hollow-point round to the brain which he will neither hear nor feel. The rest of us will experience some ringing in our ears. This will be instructive for you all. You will understand cognitively that I am in charge, that I fear no man, and that no one can oppose me."

... Until I run out of bullets.

Again, it's difficult to be impressed by what was billed as a supernatural display of power when the only actual power on display turns out to be that of Man With Gun in Room Full of Unarmed People.

Buck considered a suicidal dive across the table for the gun, but he knew that others might die for his effort.

So Buck continues to just sit there, doing nothing. In a few pages there's a dramatic scene in which he sits there, saying nothing. And then a few pages later he springs into action and ... runs away.

"When Mr. Stonagal is dead, I will tell you what you will remember. And lest anyone feel I have not been fair, let me not neglect to add that more than gore will wind up on Mr. Todd-Cothran's suit. A high-velocity bullet at this range will also kill him, which, as you know, Mr. Williams, is something I promised you I would deal with in due time.

Todd-Cothran opened his eyes at that news, and Buck found himself shouting, "No!" as Carpathia pulled the trigger. The blast rattled the windows and even the door. Stonagal's head crashed into the toppling Todd-Cothran and both were plainly dead before their entwined bodies reached the floor.

Those high-velocity bullets, it turns out, are way deadlier than your typical low-velocity bullet.

Nicolae puts the gun into Stonagal's hand, staging the scene, roughly, to look like a kind of suicide with collateral damage. He's not wearing gloves, so his prints are on the gun and the powder residue is on his hand, but he's not really worried about that. He can always mind-mojo the CSI squad if he needs to, and he's got a room full of eyewitnesses to support his version of the story:

"What we have just witnessed here," he said kindly, as if speaking to children, "was a horrible, tragic end to two otherwise extravagantly productive lives. These men were two I respected and admired more than any others in the world. What compelled Mr. Stonagal to rush the guard, disarm him, take his own life and that of his British colleague, I do not know and may never fully understand."

And of course this works. Over the next several pages, all of the non-born-again eyewitnesses in the room will dutifully repeat this version of the story, believing that this is what they really saw happen. Here, at last, we see that Nicolae really does have some supernatural Antichrist powers beyond the kind of trigger-pulling powers available to every mere mortal.

The display of supernatural powers by the Antichrist ought to be chilling, but here in the final chapter of Left Behind it falls flat. This is partly due to bland, unimaginative writing (as we'll see when we look, in our next installment, at the following pages), but mainly it's due to his grand display of Antichrist powers just plain not making any sense.

Nicolae demonstrates his supernatural powers by concealing them. I can't figure out how this constitutes a "show of strength."

Everyone in the room is thoroughly convinced that they saw nothing other than the suicide Nicolae just described. That scenario scarcely holds up -- Stonagal could barely kneel unassisted, how could he have overpowered the guard? And why would he have run back to his seat? -- but set that aside. Apart from Buck, no one in the room will remember what they really just saw. Apart from Buck's Tribulation Force friends, no one outside the room will ever hear any other account of what occurred there. How is that account supposed to make the whole world "understand cognitively" that Nicolae is in charge, that he fears no man, that no one can oppose him?

Bruce Barnes said that, according to prophecy, "The Antichrist will solidify his power with a show of strength." If Nicolae is really the Antichrist, he told Buck, then "He has to show some potency. What might he do to entrench himself so solidly that no one can oppose him?"

What might he do? Well, he might just convince the entire world that he had been a hapless bystander at a suicide. Power solidified. Prophecy fulfilled.

Comments

[Ursula L]

As far as the begging goes - could Nicky be using the mind-whammy to control Stonegal's actions, but leaving his mind free to think, and his mouth free to talk?

Feeling one's body obey an order you are told will lead to your death, against your will, might reduce even someone like Stonegal to begging.

Which would be really creepy.

[spencer]

Fred, I have to join the chorus in urging you to publish these posts in book form. I promise I would buy multiple copies, since I have friends who actually think the LB books are quality literature.

[J]

"Begging does not become you, Jonathan. Please be quiet. Hattie," he continued, looking directly into her eyes now, "stand and move your chair back and be seated. Hair, skin, skull tissue and brain matter will mostly be absorbed by Mr. Todd-Cothran and the others next to him. I do not want anything to get on you."

I dunno. This scene almost, nearly, kinda . . . works. Imagine the boardroom, with Carpathia standing at the head of the conference table. It's an utterly banal setting; anyone who's worked in business, education, government, non-profits, hell even religion, has probably been in rooms like this.

Carpathia is potentially bland, too: Imagine him as an 'executive'--governmental, corporate, military, whatever. And here he is doing what corporate types so often do--order actions that will result in impoverishment, pain and/or death for Other People, Somewhere Else . . .

. . . except, in a genuinely shocking twist, he's taking that responsibility on himself. He doesn't sit at a desk, sign an purchase order confirming receipt of 100 kilos of diamonds from Angola or transshipment of some helicopter parts to Cambodia or a retainer agreement with the Pinkerton guards before coming back around the desk to practice his golf swing or call his trophy wife back in Montauk to tell her the Petersons are coming over for dinner that night. No, he takes the gun in his hand and blows the fucker away. He does himself what we always expect His Type to delegate to someone else.

This scene is terrifying.

[Richard Hershberger]

"You will understand cognitively..."

One wonders what, if anything, the authors think "cognitively" means.

'...a few pages later he springs into action and ... runs away.'

When danger reared its ugly head,
He bravely turned his tail and fled.

[Mad Latinist]

Well, she's still alive. Oh yes. She's almost 12 now, and the specialists think she may even be able to walk again some day.

Mist the Rapture by that much.

How is that account supposed to make the whole world "understand cognitively" that Nicolae is in charge, that he fears no man, that no one can oppose him?

Maybe they think that "cognitively" is the opposite of "consciously"? That would explain, at least, the people in the room, if not the world.

[damnedyankee]

Buck considered a suicidal dive across the table for the gun, but he knew that others might die for his effort.

"Down these mean streets must walk a man who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid. He is the hero. He is everything." - Raymond Chandler

And then we have Buck, who, while we get the impression that he's supposed to be so much more, leaves us with so much less.

[Becky]

You will understand cognitively that I am in charge, that I fear no man, and that no one can oppose me... for about 30 seconds, at which point I will convince you that I was powerless to stop my most important advisor from killing himself.

[Nenya]

Ooh, sixth post. I don't think I've ever been this early to a LB post before!

"Understand cognitively" makes my brain hurt. >.< Ow. However, "My dear, you will want to slide your chair back about three feet so as not to soil your outfit" gave me probably the first serious (intentional) chill in the whole book. Of course then he has to spoil it by describing blood and gore, but okay.

I suppose the authors might be going for the idea that if Carpathia does away with the two men who might be strong enough to oppose him someday, that he is now solidified in power? Still, it seems like he's not "showing" his "strength" to anyone, and will still be sneaking about pretending to be a good guy for the next book or so.

[Technomad]

The Joker would so pwn Nicky Mt. Erebus that it wouldn't even be funny. Heck, Harley Quinn on her own does a better job of villainy.

And it occurs to me that Nicky's putting a lot of "faith" in his Mind Control Whammy---what if one of his witnesses/non-witnesses has said the Magic Sinner's Prayer, or makes his saving throw vs. mind control at a later date, or whatever? The silly bugger's just committed murder in front of a roomful of people.

Question: What's wrong with Pinkerton guards, anyway?

[J Neo Marvin]

I think he actually believes "cognitively" means "intuitively", as in "you will know, in a way you cannot explain, that I am in charge." In other words, the complete opposite of what the word means!

Just when you think these guys have reached the pinnacle of bad writing, they manage to top themselves again. Amazing.

[rm]

Yes . . . you quick-typing whippersnappers . . . I think here Jenkins uses "cognitively" when he really means "subconsciously," thus violating Mark Twain's rules 12 and 13.

Other than the over-writing and chair-arranging compulsions, this is a good scene. It's the scene I actually remembered from the book before Fred reminded me.

[ajay]

We're supposed to accept here that Stonagal is surprised by Nicolae's sudden betrayal. That seems unlikely. First of all, Stoney didn't get to be where he is today as a global puppet-master by trusting anyone. He might have to rely on his associates and his deputies, but that's not the same as trusting them. He would anticipate the possibility of betrayal by any or all of them, and he'd have plans in place for that contingency. That seems doubly true in the case of his protege. He knows that Nicolae is capable of murderous betrayal because he, personally, taught him how to do it. So it seems unlikely that Stonagal could be caught off-guard like this.

I, personally, would have expected the scene to go roughly:

STONAGAL: We will rule over this world, and we will call it.. "The World".
CARPATHIA: I would prefer to call it "Your Grave"! Ah ha ha ha!
STONAGAL: Aah! Curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!

[Mouse]

Once again, I have to agree with those in a previous Left Behind Friday post who posited that Light Yagami would make a better anti-Christ. Remember what he did to poor Naomi Misora?

[pepperjackcandy]

It seems likely he's had a gun pointed at him before.

Nah. He probably has people to do that for him.

[Rowan]

Yay! Left Behind Fridays!
As I've got all of them copied into a file for myself I wouldn't be so thrilled about them being published as a book for my own sake - but I still think it's a GREAT idea!

[Chris]

One big reason this scene fails is that Jenkins devotes much more ink to Carpathia shooting an old man and then having him use his Satanic Powers as an afterthought. Imagine if Bram Stoker wrote an entire chapter about Dracula threatening someone with a knife only to end it with, "and after the count stabbed him, he turned into a wolf and went on his merry way." It's madness, I tell you!

Also we get into some disturbing theological territory this week, just like every week. So Satan's agent on earth can mind-control you, huh? Kind of a kick in the old "free will" argument about Salvation and Damnation. They may be Calvinists, but I don't think Calvin believed the saved and the reprobate were divided along the lines of who could make a Will save vs. Mind Control saving throw.

[J]

Once again, I have to agree with those in a previous Left Behind Friday post who posited that Light Yagami would make a better anti-Christ. Remember what he did to poor Naomi Misora?

No, I don't. Because trying to read Death Note was like staring for hours into a halogen lamp. Ow, I remember thinking to myself, My cerebrum doesn't normally ache this much from reading manga.

...So I quit after soldiering through volume 2 and went back to translating Raeru Grado.

[Fraser]

I agree that telling Hattie to step back to avoid soiling her dress is a nice touch. Otherwise, this is kind of pointless. Why not just zap them with the same mojo that convinces everyone to embrace his one-world religion, worldwide currency and disarmament plans? Or simply tell them he's done it ("So you see, I cannot be stopped?").

[eyelessgame]

Not quite, Chris - it's that Buck just took one level of the munchkin prestige class "Born Again", where you get a Will save against the mind-whammy (normally the whammy has no save).

[J]

So Satan's agent on earth can mind-control you, huh? Kind of a kick in the old "free will" argument about Salvation and Damnation. They may be Calvinists, but I don't think Calvin believed the saved and the reprobate were divided along the lines of who could make a Will save vs. Mind Control saving throw.

Substantively, that would make heaven overpopulated by left-handers: We are statistically much harder to hypnotize. It is hypothesized this is due to our brain's bilateral speech nodes: we're never more than half-listening to any one thing.

So, what, that should be a +5 Will save versus mind control, but maybe a -5 to Notice? Seems like a fair enough trade for the Hand Sinister prestige class.

And you all laughed at my neuroscience.

[JMiller]

If you're looking for a better rendition of this sort of scene, I recommend checking out the #2 villian from _Trigun_, Legato Bluesummers. If you've *really* got mind control, then make your enemies kill each other. Bonus points if you can get somebody to rip out their own heart and offer it to you. (If I remember right, his first major scene is in "Demon Eye".)

But let's play it out...

Stoney is a killer. You don't get to the point of being an evil overlord without having some dirt on your hands from when you were small. Nikky puts a silencer on the gun. Nikky hands the gun over to Stoney, whispers something in his ear, gives a not-quite-sympathetic-to-the-sorry-bastard comforstless half-smile to Stoney, and turns back to the group as Stoney shudders, his eyes growing dark with paranoia as he looks over at T-C. T-C had Stoney in his blind spot, being right next to him, and realizes to late that Stoney has raised the gun -- one bullet to the heart, one bullet to the head. Nikky turns back with mock-shock -- "What have you done?" he gasps, catching Stoney's gaze. Stonegal looks at what he's done, at the witnesses, at the gun in his hand. Fear washes over him. To everybody in the room, it's the fear of engaging in such violence and the departure of the adrenaline; the shadow of thanatos' passage. But Stonegal isn't afraid of that -- he's afraid of what he's now realized: Nikky's mind control has stepped up and he's no longer as immune as he used to be. He just killed one of his close associates mere moments ago and he doesn't even remember doing it. And he can't control his right hand which is nuzzling the warm end of the silencer up under his chin... Nicolae audibly says "No..." but only Stonegal hears Nicolae finish the statement in his mind:

"... leash."

Nicolae sighed. "I'm sorry you had to witness that. I knew that Stonegal and Todd-Cothran had some history. I wanted to test Stonegal to ensure he could put that behind him out of loyalty to me. Clearly he failed -- and made a mess of the chairs, carpet and organizational chart as well. But it does still serve to illustrate two things: first, we are absolutely an action-oriented organization. This is not some soft government job of yesteryear. The world was shaken by The Event and we are going to get it settled back down in exactly the way it needs to be. This required absolute commitment all of the time because it's always daytime somewhere in the world. You were chosen because I know you can give that kind of commitment. But, secondly, you all have enemies that you have acquired in your prolific careers. Except Hattie, who is a hot stewardess in desperate need of a name change. I am familiar enough with each of you to know who some -- or in some cases, many -- of them are..." he turned his gaze to Buck meaningfully "... and I will do my best to protect you as long as you're doing your best to work towards my vision. But I need you all to be very honest and open with me. I need you all to help me... help you."

Nicolae took out a handkerchief and lifted the gun from Stonegal's dead hand, paused to gaze at the body with a sigh, unscrewed the silencer from the gun and returned the gun to the astonished guard. He slipped the muzzle back into his jacket and pulled out his cell phone, auto-dialing #1. "I need a cleaner in the conference room," he said, "We've got a double mess." Turning back to his team, "My janitorial staff is on its way. Shall we move elsewhere?"

[Ken]

Ajay: It must get really boring standing watch on the bridge of Serenity, with nothing except those 22 volumes of Earth-that-Was Christian best-seller you picked up in the quarter bin of that Skyplex's used bookstore...

[Abelardus]

What we needed to see here was Nicolae out-manipulating him, beating him at his own game. There ought to be a final chess match between these two evil megalomaniacs, ending with Nicolae's crowning "checkmate," but instead he just knocks the board over, scattering the pieces.

In this case, Nicolae should turn over his role as Antichrist to either Light Yagami of Death Note or Lelouch Lamperouge of Code Geass. Yeah, best crossover ever, yeah.

I am eager to see Fred's dissection of the next remaining pages.

[J]

Anyone wonder if Carpathia holds his gun in a sideways gansta grip?

[Elmo]

The clearest indication of Old Nick's powers is that he knows that the gun he just borrowed from the doofus er guard is loaded with hollow-point high velocity bullets.

[Ken]

"Down these mean streets must walk a man who is not himself mean, who is neither tarnished nor afraid. He is the hero. He is everything." - Raymond Chandler

And then we have Buck, who, while we get the impression that he's supposed to be so much more, leaves us with so much less. -- DamnedYankee

But Buck IS The Hero (TM). Author Self-Inserts are ALWAYS The Hero -- just ask Eragon!

P.S. After Obama's performance in Berlin (and the audience reaction), Slack's going to have to go back and rewrite his critique of Romania's Robert Redford reading the list of UN Member States in alphabetical order. Jenkins still falls down badly on realistic mechanics of charisma as used in Messiah Politics, but his description of media and audience reaction to such lightweight speechifying is no longer farfetched.

[Praline]

Buck considered a suicidal dive across the table for the gun, but he knew that others might die for his effort.

Really? Why? Is Nicolae going to shoot him, then start killing everybody else in the room in a fit of pique at being opposed? Will he fire a bullet at Buck, only to have it riccochet of those tin ears that make Buck such a lousy reporter? Will the pistol turn into a bomb?

Others might die, heck. Buck just doesn't want to die himself. If he thought about it for a minute, he'd realise that others are definitely going to die if nobody does anything.

Now, I'm not saying it's wrong for Buck to be too afraid to move. I expect I would be, in his position; very few people will lunge for a gun. But making excuses about it is all wrong. It's that vague 'others' that does it: they clearly can't think of who might get killed, because actually nobody would, so they just sketch in 'others' and hope you won't notice that Buck doesn't stand up. Or try to sneak for the exit. Or struggle to steady his voice and talk Nicolae out of it. Or even, horror of horrors, try to persuade himself to stand up but admit he's too frightened.

The trouble, I think, is that they've given themselves an insoluble problem: Buck's supposed to be up to here with the Gospel Armour, which means, by their logic, that he should be a shining knight, incapable of doing anything wrong. Immediately they drop him in a situation where there's a clear heroic course of action - but it would louse up the plot if he took it. They could write round it - admit that Buck's faith hasn't instantly perfected him, or if they don't want to go that way ... I don't know, having Nicolae hypnotise the big security guard into holding Buck down or take Hattie hostage are two obvious possibilities. But both of those would call attention to Buck's helplessness, and that's something they really, really don't want.

I noticed in the movie adaptation that the director solved the problem by keeping the camera off Buck altogether during this exchange, in the hopes we'd forget he was there. To such expedients were the adaptors driven, because nobody wants to acknowledge that Buck is SCARED of someone.

Bah. Cowardice masquerading as selflessness. It reminds me of all those chickenhawk stories we discussed a while ago, where the true Christian lets a saved person die to rescue an unsaved one - but never considers putting his own butt on the line. These guys are big, excuse-making cowardy custards.

(If it's not bad form, I wonder if I might ask a favour from all you clever folks who are so good at pointing out how a scene could have been better written? I'm editing my second novel, and I've got a post up today appealing for people to point out potential problems with the premise so I can fix them before handing in the final draft. If you had the time to click on my name, which links to my site, and go pick nits, I'd be most grateful...)

[chaos_engineer]

I took "cognitively" as another bit of anti-rationality: He's saying, "If you look at the evidence logically and with an open mind, you'll have to admit that no one can oppose me." This reminds the reader that 'logic' and 'open-mindedness' are tools of the Devil...the right thing to do is to ignore all the evidence and intuitively understand that Jesus is still in control.

I still don't get the amnesia thing. It seems like any halfway-decent Antichrist would be able to persuade the witnesses that it's in their best interest to go along with his version of events.

That said, there was a nice bit of foreshadowing when Nick made sure that Hattie's outfit didn't get ruined. This reveals his Achilles' heel,
and sets up the big fight scene where Nick is unable to shoot Ray and Buck, because they're armored with tasteful frilly dresses from Irene's closet. (I haven't been reading ahead so I'm not sure if that scene's actually in there. But, honestly, how could they leave it out?)

[Praline]

Bah, amended link below.

On another thought, I think some interesting ambiguity might be got out of "you will want to slide your chair back about three feet so as not to soil your outfit."

He's supposed to have mind-control, right? So supposing 'you will want' wasn't just a figure of speech, but a mind-whammy, temporarily making Hattie more preoccupied with her clothes than with a man's life? That might be a good way to keep her shackled to evil by permanent guilt and a damaged opinion of human virtue...

[damnedyankee]

But Buck IS The Hero (TM).

And yet quoting Chandler has me thinking WWPMD (What Would Philip Marlowe Do)?

[Headless Unicorn Guy]

...making Hattie more preoccupied with her clothes than with a man's life? That might be a good way to keep her shackled to evil by permanent guilt and a damaged opinion of human virtue... -- Praline

As well as to once more hammer home LH&J's view about women.
(Especially Hattie the Hottie, target of slut-shaming from Day One.)

Considering their target audience is "Born-Again Bored Housewives", that's about the only way to cover both bases: "Women are stupid, vain, shallow, and HAWT like Hattie; aren't you glad you're stupid, plain, shallow, and Godly like Good Little Chloe?"

[Jos]

So supposing 'you will want' wasn't just a figure of speech, but a mind-whammy, temporarily making Hattie more preoccupied with her clothes than with a man's life?

Maybe it was, but since this is shown from Buck's POV we don't get told. Also, Carpathia has to repeat his instruction to Hattie, so it probably wasn't.

'Course, could be that it didn't work because Carpathia simply messed up the phrasing a little first time around. He should have said "would you kindly slide your chair back about three feet so as not to soil your outfit."

[Spalanzani]

"Nicolae demonstrates his supernatural powers by concealing them. I can't figure out how this constitutes a "show of strength."

Hmmm..."The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist?"* (or alternatively, "The best special effects are the ones you don't notice"). Of course, if Nicky wants to show his power by covering it up, it'd be better to do so to more than a roomful of people. What he really should do is something like, you know, use his devil magic to fend off an entire nuclear strike and then convince the whole world that nothing supernatural occured.

*I don't actually get this saying, considering that belief in the devil is still pretty strong. But then I guess "The greastest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing a statisticallly signifigant number of people that he didn't exist" doesn't make a good saying.

[damnedyankee]

After Obama's performance in Berlin (and the audience reaction), Slack's going to have to go back and rewrite his critique of Romania's Robert Redford reading the list of UN Member States in alphabetical order. Jenkins still falls down badly on realistic mechanics of charisma as used in Messiah Politics, but his description of media and audience reaction to such lightweight speechifying is no longer farfetched.

Sounds like somebody missed out on the Early Bird Special at Schmidt's Sausage Haus and Restaurant.

[Kriz]

The part that really stuck out, for me, was this exaggerated "concern" for Hattie and her clothes. What does this signify in the context of the authors' apparent views on women (which Fred has previously discussed)?

I'll speculate ... any man who shows concern for a woman's (superficial physical) well-being is obviously TEH EVIL!!!!

[Jos]

Jenkins still falls down badly on realistic mechanics of charisma as used in Messiah Politics, but his description of media and audience reaction to such lightweight speechifying is no longer farfetched.

True, but only because the horrifying trauma of the Bush administration is still so fresh in everybody's minds that they'll latch onto anything.

Jenkins could have made use of such trauma in the form of the Rapture, but didn't. So Carpathia's speech still isn't that credible simply because the LB world clearly doesn't really want things to be all that different.

[Headless Unicorn Guy]

Now, I'm not saying it's wrong for Buck to be too afraid to move. I expect I would be, in his position; very few people will lunge for a gun. But making excuses about it is all wrong. It's that vague 'others' that does it: they clearly can't think of who might get killed, because actually nobody would, so they just sketch in 'others' and hope you won't notice that Buck doesn't stand up. -- Praline

Buck doing nothing (except watching the "show of strength (TM)" go down) is plausible. He just froze, and didn't unfreeze until after the deed was done. If Jenkins had played it that way, it would have worked better. Buck might talk big, but when he's actually blindsided for real, self-preservation takes over completely. That I understand from personal experience; you never know with 100% certainty what you might do in a situation until it goes down for real. And showing that -- consistently -- might have made Buck a bit more real; the guy's just not The Heroic Type.

Except the Author Self-Insert HAS to be Heroic (TM). Again, Just Ask Eragon.

Put the two together and you have what Jenkins has given us with Buck: Telling us what a heroic GIRAT he is while showing us something completely opposite.

P.S.

As done, this not only once more establishes Buck as being passive when his ass gets in danger, it also fulfills the purpose of a viewpoint character in the predestined choreography of The End. His only purpose is to observe the predestined events go down as-scripted over the Seven Year Countdown, then overtly or covertly break the fourth wall to observe how what we just saw Fulfilled Such-and-Such End Time Prophecy. That's why he HAS to be The GIRAT, despite being totally unsuited for the job; he needs to be in-position to directly observe all The Important Events.

[damnedyankee]

It reminds me of all those chickenhawk stories we discussed a while ago, where the true Christian lets a saved person die to rescue an unsaved one - but never considers putting his own butt on the line. These guys are big, excuse-making cowardy custards.

It also makes me think of the false concern for others expressed by censors or those who want government's nose stuck into our bedrooms.

"It's not for my sake," they'll clamor. "I am immune to such temptations as are offered here. But others who lack my staunch morals, what of them? And won't somebody think of the children?"

Protect Other People, Number Six...

[Raj]

When Nicky Olympus Mons was warning Hattie against soiling her outfit, did he mean "soiling" as in getting splattered with Important Guy guts, or "soiling" as in ....

[hf]

chaos_engineer: Good point. I was thinking that it made sense for LJ Hubbard to think of one group of Christians as the world, except it seems odd to make them cowardly. More likely "the world" means people who think rationally, and in LJ's mind this world does not follow logic. It doesn't matter that they never see or read about the show of strength. They'll be impressed anyway, because rationality is a crazy upside-down land of dream logic. (I apologize for slandering dreams.)

[Geds]

thus violating Mark Twain's rules 12 and 13.

I love that this comes up every once in a while and all I can think about is, "Huh, Fred's totally got a Twain thing goin' on here..."

[Raj]

"I'm glad you could all come to my little ... party. And Jonathan's glad too, aren't you, Jonathan?

"Aren't you, Jonathan?"

BANG!

"There, poor Jonathan's dead, and never called me Mother!"

[Rachel]

And it occurs to me that Nicky's putting a lot of "faith" in his Mind Control Whammy---what if one of his witnesses/non-witnesses has said the Magic Sinner's Prayer, or makes his saving throw vs. mind control at a later date, or whatever? The silly bugger's just committed murder in front of a roomful of people. --Technomad

What if that's what Nicky is counting on? That's the only way it makes sense for him to gloat about the fact that he's put one over on a roomful of people in a show of strength, if someone knows what really happened and then tells others about it. Especially if that someone is the GIRAT . . . not that Buck, the Lamest Reporter Evar! will do anything about it, certainly not ever file that story, except in the Round File. But if he were a better reporter (or even a tenth of the Great Reporter the authors think he is), it would work.

Since he isn't, the scene makes no sense, of course.

[Vermic]

However, "My dear, you will want to slide your chair back about three feet so as not to soil your outfit" gave me probably the first serious (intentional) chill in the whole book. Of course then he has to spoil it by describing blood and gore, but okay.

Even "so as not to soil your outfit" is overwriting, I think. (Especially since Hattie's outfit is likely soiled anyway at this point, along with half the people in the room.) We all know what's about to happen -- the readers know, and so do the characters -- there's zero need to explain anything. In this scene especially, less is more. This is the moment intended to show Nicky Ered Luin's true evilness, which is accomplished through action, so it would be nice if Jerry Jenkins could make Nicky just shut the hell up for once and do things without wasting paragraphs talking about it.

At the very least, I'd hope for something that showcases Nicky's creepy talent for observation:

----

Keeping the gun in Stonagal's ear, moving only his head, Nicolae looked over to observe Hattie, pale and frozen. "A Tory Burch silk blouse, Ms. Durham," he said, slowly returning his gaze to Stonagal's temple. "You will want to slide your chair back a bit. A meter should do it."

----

What I'm saying is, I want Hans Gruber in this scene. Though I guess that could be said about most scenes in anything, anywhere.

[aunursa]

Technomad: And it occurs to me that Nicky's putting a lot of "faith" in his Mind Control Whammy---what if one of his witnesses/non-witnesses has said the Magic Sinner's Prayer, or makes his saving throw vs. mind control at a later date, or whatever?

Presumably Nicky either (a) wasn't aware that his mind-control was inneffective against some, or (b)would never have allowed someone into that meeting if he who had become saved.

As for subsequent salvation, in the sequels three of the witnesses eventually accept Jesus (two of whom will be killed before the final book.) It's never indicated whether any of them regained their memory of the double-murder.

[aunursa]

Becky: You will understand cognitively that I am in charge, that I fear no man, and that no one can oppose me... for about 30 seconds, at which point I will convince you that I was powerless to stop my most important advisor from killing himself.

That's a great point. To whom is Nicky addressing when he says that?

[aunursa]

In other words, who is supposed to understand that Nicky is in charge and cannot be opposed?

[Jon]

I still don't get the amnesia thing. It seems like any halfway-decent Antichrist would be able to persuade the witnesses that it's in their best interest to go along with his version of events.

Or better yet, if they were all perfectly well-aware of what actually happened, but found that they were incapable of reporting anything other than the version of events that Nicky laid out for them. That would be some interesting mind-whammy mojo.
Better yet, if they all responded outwardly - and to a certain extent, inwardly - to Nicky, as though he was the kind, generours, young Robert Redford they'd always thought he was prior to the shooting, yet all the while, deep within them, some part of them knew that this wasn't true and was screaming out in impotent protest.

[damnedyankee]

BANG!

Suddenly, Buck realized that he'd just soiled his outfit.

[Jos]

In other words, who is supposed to understand that Nicky is in charge and cannot be opposed?

Personally, I think Nicky's breaking the fourth wall here. Or to be more precise, the authors are except they don't realise it. They say were going to show a scene of Nicky solidifying his power (As Is Foretold after all) and now they have shown it - to the readers. And Buck, but he doesn't really count.