Thursday

When I was a kid I had a Carl Yastrzemski model bat. Always felt sorry for the guy at Louisville Slugger who had to burn that name into the barrel.

I'm always reminded of that bat when I see the heavy rotation ads for this product. That's a positive connotation -- who doesn't like Carl Yastrzemski? Guy had 3,419 hits, with 452 homers back when 400 home runs still meant something. He won baseball's triple crown in '67, something nobody's managed to do since.

But still, it's kind of an odd association for an oral contraceptive. Which led, of course, to this:

Top 10 Boston Red Sox Nicknames That Would Have Made an Even Worse Name for an Oral Contraceptive

10. The Grey Eagle
9. Pudge
8. Pumpsie
7. Dewey
6. The Rocket
5. Boomer
4. Oil Can
3. The Kid
2. The Splendid Splinter
1. Big Papi

NOTE: At first glance, this may seem like an oddly noncontroversial bit of silliness to toss out as Thursday Flamebait, but it touches on several potentially anger-inducing subjects: pharmaceutical advertising; contraception; the designated hitter rule; steroid use; the 11 years it took Boston to finally integrate; Game 6 ...

Comments

[Tonio]

Fred, those would be better names for erectile dysfunction drugs. I enjoy the ads for such drugs purely as studies in how advertisers can allude to the products' purpose in a G-rated format without illustrating it explicitly. Not even a train going into a tunnel like the old Tiparillo ads that George Carlin lampooned.

[AKMA]

I've had the same reaction whenever I hear the ad, especially with the perky young women who appear in it -- none of whom could have been alive when Yaz retired.

Going further back in time, what about "The Beast," otherwise known as "Double X" -- Jimmie Foxx? That's a twofer.

[cjmr's husband]

Contraceptives? Designated hitter?

I thought "designated hitter" was a euphemism for what you used to do to get around impotence...

[Elmo]

Contraceptives? Wouldn't want to have one named Bill Buckner -- it would let too much slip through...

[deborah]

I'd really like to rename an erectile dysfunction drug "The Pesky Pole".

[Cowboy Diva]

Does knowing the contraceptive Yaz is actually a derivative of another contraceptive called Yasmin change the issue at all?
And here I was thinking Bayer was just trying to make us think of this.
heh.

[Nobody_Special]

Thank goodness they haven't gotten an erectile disfunction drug named after Randy Johnson. You wouldn't even need his nickname (The Big Unit) to imagine the double entendres in that advertising.

[Glenda]

I think "Big Papi" would be a good name for a condom, but "The Splendid Splinter?" No, just too painful.

[Karen]

Since we're talking about The Pill.

FWIW, my response to that article was to wonder when any of the parade of horribles Paul VI listed as consequences of birth control didn't exist? Did men as a group treat all women with perfect courtesy before Griswold v. Connecticut?

[Karen]

Ugh. I meant to type :"when did any of the parade of horribles Paul VI listed as a consequence of birth control didn't exist before 1968?"

[Dorothy]

Way back, I lived in D.C. for a few years. The Post ran some sort of word-play contest and one week the challenge was to come up with an inappropriate celebrity spokesman for a commercial product. The winning entry: "John Wayne Bobbitt for Microsoft" submitted by the notorious "Chuck Smith, Woodbridge". Does it indicate something is warped in my brain that that is the first thing I thought of for this thread?

[the opoponax]

I enjoy the ads for such drugs purely as studies in how advertisers can allude to the products' purpose in a G-rated format without illustrating it explicitly.

Which is funny, because I enjoy the ads for the incontinence drugs/treatments and adult diapers to see how advertisers can pitch something that so few people will actually admit there's a need for. I also find it funny that it's ok to pretty blatantly talk about erectile disfunction on network TV, but these same people really don't want to dwell on incontinence.

[Ygor]

More Red Sox oral contraceptives we wouldn't want to buy:

Eck

Scrappy Doo

[Mike Toreno]

You're old.

[Jeff]

From the post linked by Karen:

[Hannity] objected that the issue of contraception was “superfluous” compared to others; he asked what right the priest had to tell him what to do (“judge not lest you be judged,” Hannity instructed); and he expressed shock at the thought that anyone might deprive him of taking Communion just because he was deciding for himself what it means to be Catholic.

I love these rationales. I'll be catholic as long as it doesn't inconvenience me, then I'll come up with the dumbest excuses (a priest telling you something is a sin -- gasp! Who'd have thunk?) not to.

He's even a hypocritical asshole in his chosen religion.

[victoria]

By mentioning contraception, Fred has also (unwittingly?) brought up the dreaded 'A' word, at least according to Health and Human Services Secretary Michael Leavitt...

Going by the Wikipedia entry for Mike Leavitt, I assume the "dreaded A-word" is avian flu?

I support promotion of condom use, but surely distributing condoms to birds throughout Asia is going too far.

[Hellsau]

Ahem.

[Donalbain]

Baseball sucks. The field placings are static, there is no place for "defensive" play (you are ALWAYS just trying to get more runs than the other team), the variety of ways the ball gets to the batter is limited and the fielding team get to wear massive buckets on their hands to catch the ball in.

[Cowboy Diva]

Does Donalbain have a soft spot for cricket, perhaps?

[Donalbain]

Why yes sir, he does have a soft spot for God's Own Game. That is why he rejects baseball and all his followers!

[Comrade Rutherford]

Insurance companies will pay for 'erectile dysfunction', but not for contraception.

So insurance will buy pecker pills for a man, but the girl he screws is screwed?

[cjmr]

Insurance companies will pay for 'erectile dysfunction', but not for contraception.

Apparently this is, ummm, 'conventional wisdom'. They do tend to cover ED pills with a lower co-pay for the patient, though. And not all insurances will cover all FORMS of contraception.

[Mike Molloy]

Dr Strangeglove!

[Cowboy Diva]

I have been told that life, the universe and everything would very difficult to understand without at least some knowledge of cricket.
One of my favorite baseball team pictures. These guys would not know from "buckets on their hands."

[Comrade Rutherford]

Homer Simpson stops drinking beer for one month and goes to a baseball game surrounded my huge-red-cup swilling fans:

"I never realized how boring this game really is."

[not_scottbot]

In general, the idea of calling a birth control product 'Home Run' or 'Touchdown' or 'Goal' seems pretty silly.

[jamoche]

The Starz movie network runs ads that emulate one of the ED ads, right down to the cheesy music, spinning the coy "when you want to do it, there's nothing else like it" innuendo to imply "watching movies" instead of "having sex" without changing the text all that much.

Trouble is, I have a pavlovian response to that music so I hit mute as soon as I can.

[damnedyankee]

God's Own Game? That would explain why it takes seven days to play...

[jamoche]

"Shortstop" as a contraceptive?

From a spectator perspective, cricket and baseball have a lot in common. Nothing happens, then nothing happens, then you start talking to your friends when crack! and the crowd roars so you look up to see what's happening but you've missed the whole thing. :)

[damnedyankee]

A line from an old Mad Magazine piece: "Americans watch soccer to find out if it really is the only game in the world that's more boring than baseball."

[hapax]

Totally off-topic (if there is an ON-topic), but Praline, what on earth are you doing on your blog now? I attempted to noodle on over during my lunch break, only to have a huge red filter flash WARNING! CONTAINS ADULT AND/OR OFFENSIVE MATERIAL. YOUR ATTEMPTS TO ACCESS THIS SITE HAVE BEEN LOGGED.

Methinks someone has been blogging about cricket, oh yesss....

(wonders if Praline's server will now crash after the sudden mad influx of visitors)

[cjmr's husband]

'Home Run'

No, but "Out At Third Base" would be a good brand name for a chastity belt.

[Comrade Rutherford]

I think 'Home Run' would be a great name for condoms...

[damnedyankee]

Hmm. How would "Bambino's Curse" work as a name for a contraceptive?

[Ursula L]

I've got a challenge, for Slacktivites so inclined:

Since the slash just seems to write itself for Left Behind, would anyone care to write some nice slashy Left Behind verses for the "Ball of Kerrimuir" filk currently going on at Making Light?

http://nielsenhayden.com/makinglight/archives/010482.html#010482

[Comrade Rutherford]

And more the larger men, "Grand Slam Home Run Brand Condoms"

[damnedyankee]

A request for enlightenment for those of us who spent summer afternoons watching Star Trek reruns instead of baseball games: What exactly is baseball's triple crown?

[Jessica]

"I enjoy the ads for such drugs purely as studies in how advertisers can allude to the products' purpose in a G-rated format without illustrating it explicitly."

My favorites are the ones for genital herpes. I wouldn't want to share her bike. Ewwwww.......

[hagsrus]

Buck and Steele and Antichrist
In threeway you may find:
"Now this is really Rapture
So we're glad we're Left Behind!"

An’ it’s who’ll slash ye this time
Who’ll slash ye noo?
The lass who slashed ye last, lad,
She no will slash ye noo.

[Jeff]

God's Own Game? That would explain why it takes seven days to play...

Only six days -- on the seventh day, you rest.

As someone who has played and watched cricket and baseball, cricket's got a bad rap. It's a lot easier to play adequate cricket in informal games (like after work) -- just look at the ball and bat! When watching, the pitching is more nuanced, there are more options for the pitcher, it's a bit more fun.

Hitting for 4 is great fun, and hitting for 6 is better.

============================

would anyone care to [do anything] at Making Light?

Ugh. God no. A more self-congratulatory group of assholes you're not likely to find this side of a right-wing or libertarian blog.

[Nobody_Special]

What exactly is baseball's triple crown?

If you are a batter, it means you lead the league in home runs, runs batted in (RBI) and batting average at the end of a season.

Per wiki, it also says:

If you are a pitcher, it means you lead the league in earned run average (ERA), strikeouts, and wins at the end of a season.

[Cowboy Diva]

Triple crown for batting is a player with the most home runs, most runs batted in, and the highest batting average.
It is possible to have a very strong team without any of those things; frex the St. Louis Cardinals playing small-ball in the 1980s.

[damnedyankee]

Thank you for the info, Nobody_Special and Cowboy Diva. May your days be filled with frivolity and mirth.

[Roadstergal]

My favorite anti-impotence drug is Levitra. It sounds like a spell from Harry Potter.

"Playing small-ball" sounds quite naughty, Cowboy Diva.

[Raj]

Dorothy: "John Wayne Bobbitt for Microsoft" submitted by the notorious "Chuck Smith, Woodbridge". Does it indicate something is warped in my brain that that is the first thing I thought of for this thread?

AHA! I've been waiting for an excuse to post the following, and this is my cue!

There once was a man named Bobbitt
Who stood twice as tall as a Hobbit
His wife he did irk
Who thought him a jerk
So with a sharp knife she did bob it!

[damnedyankee]

AHA! I've been waiting for an excuse to post the following, and this is my cue!

Chase that crazy dream, Raj.

[Cowboy Diva]

Roadstergal,
I am sure i(t) can be as naughty as you like. However, for the Cardinals of that era it was also known as "Whiteyball" and therefore could mean something else altogether.

[alsafi]

You do know, Jeff, that there's a fair number of crossover commenters between here and there? Or did you intend the implication that you think we're all assholes, too?

[Comrade Rutherford]

Yeah, about those herpes ads: As if any woman anywhere would ever sleep with a guy that she knew to have herpes (and she didn't).