Completely open thread

Guys, we really do need you to write and submit articles if you want to have anything to read.

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The Slacktiverse is a community blog. Content reflects the individual opinions of the contributors. We welcome disagreement in the comment threads, and invite anyone who wishes to present an alternative interpretation of a situation to write and submit a post.

Comments

[cjmr]

I'm working on something in my head whilst simultaneously trying to do year-end stuff for the Girl Scout troop, write homeschool end of year reports, and plan our summer vacation/field trips.

It is not going quickly.

[MercuryBlue]

Don't I have a couple in the queue? Not counting the one y'all sent back for fixing the conclusion.

[The Board Administration Team]

Yeah, that should have been "you guys with the exception of MercuryBlue who faithfully and regularly submits."

[Darth Ember]

Are any of you guys here right now? Please. I'm kind of falling apart here.
Sometimes it's just the little things, the insignificant things, that tear your composure wide open. Things that you could point to and go 'so what, other people have it worse.'
But it's not feeling insignificant.

[Helen]

I started a blog ages ago but I seem to be getting mainly abusive LOL your fat type comments on my first post :( http://helenspeaks.wordpress.com/2012/01/21/on-loving-your-body/ Maybe you can repost? the audience here is much nicer... and I promise I'll try and come up with something original in future :)

Darth Ember, I don't know you, but *hugs*. Am online for a bit but no idea what the timezone is here, so afraid I'm probably too late.

[Helen Louise]

Realise that 'Helen' is not exactly a unique screen name... I'll go by Helen Louise :)

[Darth Ember]

I'm a bit calmer than I was before. Colds seem like such minor things, but they can take a lot out of you. It really didn't help my emotional state when presented with other issues.

[Helen Louise]

Was it really 4.44AM when you posted? Something about the middle of the night makes me feel utterly wretched on the best of occasions :( There's a bit in Grumpy old men by Stuart Prebble about how he wrote down all the excellent ideas he had at 3AM and in the morning discovered they were utter bollocks. But this was of great comfort, considering that 3AM was also the time where he'd inevitably be seized by dark thoughts. Knowing this hasn't made my own middle of the night thoughts any less dark or wretched, but it's a dim light at the end of the tunnel at least.

[Darth Ember]

Oh, no, it was evening. Aussie here.
I managed to put what I was thinking aside to just eat dinner and watch TV. I knew it'd come back if I thought about it too much, and one bout of bawling in the shower was enough for me. (I needed a shower anyway, but the handy bonus of privacy and masking noise was helpful too.) Didn't want my dad to know. He rolls his eyes enough at my outbursts as it is.

I wish my mum hadn't scheduled this weekend to visit my sister - I argue more with my dad when she's gone, and she at least doesn't expect illnesses to vanish overnight.

[MercuryBlue]

Darth Ember: belated hugs, if appropriate.

[Lonespark]

Colds are not minor things. Not. at. all.

Feel free to complain anythime, DE!

[Lonespark]

Mmm, TBAT, I am working on a few things. One was going to be kind of an expanded Things You Can Do, but I was called away, so I guess it will be more after-the-fact reporting. Probably can get it to you Monday. I was suddenly working more than half of the week. OMG!

[Lonespark]

And people, you know how you write long, complex comments on comment threads at Fred's place or Ana's place or whatever? You can totally expand those ideas into guest posts and they would be interesting and length would become an unalloyed virtue.

And people have mentioned wonderful post topics to me in person. Like Jerry Jenkins vs. Euripides and fan culture and superheroes and the folk culture of today. I know real life is busy, but please to make with the sharing. (Also I imagine folks could posts anonymously if nervous about attracting trolls.)

[Darth Ember]

Thanks. I just... really hate feeling like it's all coming apart. My brain spirals out of control and I think things that scare me. And then I'm not sure whether I really am that self-destructive, ready to tear off on some wild thing like running away and hiding in my car indefinitely, or if my brain is just overdramatic and spins the biggest actions in my head for my emotional state.
Because something in my head always goes 'what if...', like 'what if I was robbed, right now', and while I know it's probably okay to prepare for things a bit, I catch myself thinking even what I'd say to people afterwards, or how some disaster might change my life. And it disgusts me about myself - it feels self-involved, and a grotesque appropriation of the tragedies of others for my own imagined events. I try to cut off that kind of train of thought when it reaches the self-indulgent level.
But that trait, that's why I'm confused. Because I'm not sure if I really am so far into my unhappiness that the things I think have grown from it, or if it's just my own brain spinning sick dramas. Either way, it kind of scares me.

But today... well, gee, fancy that, I couldn't bring myself to do the washing or the dishes. I obviously must be doing it just to spite Mister Healthy As A Horse, who doesn't seem to care how much illness takes out of me. So obviously it's time for a lecture on how I just don't do enough. And apparently it's silly of me to 'storm off and sulk' - AKA getting some bloody privacy when I'm upset. So it all kind of came together and jabbed a hole right through my composure.
If something upsets him, it's clearly a big deal. If it doesn't upset him, it clearly doesn't matter, so why am I being so overdramatic?

[hapax]

{{{Darth Ember}}}

I have personally found that a good long hot shower does double duty as cold therapy and as a private place to have a satisfying cry.

[Amaryllis]

{{{Darth Ember}}}

*paragraph deleted because *me too only different" is not a helpful response *
Just, my sympathies.

@hapax: I believe it was you who recommended N. K. Jemison's books so enthusiastically? Therefore, it must be your fault that all unnecessary activities, including sleep, and right now including laundry and dusting, are being totally skimped.

[MercuryBlue]

I think that was Lonespark, actually, Amaryllis. And one of these days I'm going to get around to following that recommendation.

Not today, though. My head is being too thoroughly eaten by this story. queer_bigbang challenge: write a ten-thousand-word story dealing with the experience of being queer, rough draft due June 15. Seventy-four hundred words in, nearest I've come to tying sexuality and/or gender identity to the action plot:

"Not that it's any of my business," Claire says when they've made it to the safety of the purse department, "but are you a lesbian?"

"None of my ancestors came from Lesbos," Emma says. "Try Crete." Because, honestly, it is none of anyone's business. "Does this look sufficiently professional?" She picks up a random black purse.

"It has a decorative padlock," Claire says. "No."

Gee, thanks, Emma. Could've started a fascinating conversation on Emma's cultural assumptions (she's from a long line of political lesbians) versus Claire's (she's only recently broken out of the RTC subculture), but no. Doesn't help that neither girl seems to be aware of what her sexuality even is, and Claire's gender identity is a complicated thing that she has not apparently given any thought to. Also while I'm still pretty sure there's going to be an Emma/Claire romance plot, I can't use the 'instant attraction' gimmick to kickstart that because I'm fairly certain Emma's asexual.

FRUSTRATE.

[Froborr]

{{{Darth Ember}}}

When I was depressed, I did the same thing with feeding myself dark little melodramas, and they were most definitely part of the illness.

Guys, we really do need you to write and submit articles if you want to have anything to read.

Well, I overslept today, which means another weekend I can't register as a researcher at Library of Congress (the only hours you can register are (1) times I'm at work and (2) earlier on Saturday than anyone should ever have to be conscious), which means another weekend I can't work on my proposal.

That means I can have you something by Monday.

[Lonespark]

Yes, it's me! Blame me!!!

And spread the love!

Come over here and sit by me and talk about Itempas et al. Which book are you on?

[Lonespark]

...unless it's another Jemisin book/story, besides the Inheritance Trilogy, which I'm sure is also awesome, but that's all I've read so far.

[chris the cynic]

But that trait, that's why I'm confused. Because I'm not sure if I really am so far into my unhappiness that the things I think have grown from it, or if it's just my own brain spinning sick dramas. Either way, it kind of scares me.

I don't know which it is either*, but given that you're not alone in it (I do it too, for instance, and a couple of others came forward) I'm pretty sure that having those thoughts doesn't reflect poorly on you.

I wish there were something I could say to make things better for you, but I know of no such thing. I hope things improve, and until they do I hope you're able to cope with them better. The best of luck, well wishes, and all of that. And hugs, if they will make you feel better.

-

*Though based on what Froborr says I'm definitely leaning toward concluding it's a result of depression.

[truth is life]

I'm seriously starting to get antsy about my rent bill for this summer, you guys. Specifically the fact that it hasn't show up for me to pay it yet despite me having signed documents saying that I'm renting. Since this is for the period starting June 1st, late fees do exist (I read the whole contract!), bills must be paid online, and most importantly I can only access the Internet on weekends (sort of...I can use library computers during the week, but of course would not like to input sensitive financial details to a library computer!), I think you can see why I'm wigging out a bit...

See, this is why I really hate it when people say "oh, we're going to do everything online now," especially when they're a university.

[Amaryllis]

@Lonespark: yes, it was the Inheritance books. I just finished the second book, having read it and the first in a headlong "what-happens-next" rush, so I haven't formed a final opinion yet. But I thoroughly enjoyed the stories, and I loved the way she so quietly, matter-of-factly (if that's not a word, it ought to be) subverts so many of the common fantasy conventions about gender and race and religion. Not to hit home a didactic point, but to tell a good and original story.

And I see from the snippet at the end of Book 2 that Book 3 will be Sieh's story? Oooh! I loved that kid!

@truth is life: I hope everything works out okay. And yeah, you'd think a university would have an actual office where its students can transact business in person, or by real mail.

[Lonespark]

I loved the way she so quietly, matter-of-factly (if that's not a word, it ought to be) subverts so many of the common fantasy conventions about gender and race and religion.

Yes, this.
I've been reading a lot of fantasy with POC protagonists or whole POC worlds. The thing about the Inheritance Trilogy is it tells a story that is largely about colonialism and empire, and race too, despite being set in a world that is absolutely unlike ours and doesn't really map onto ours...

[MercuryBlue]

Where did Sappho's reputation come from, anyway? Because today I've been through at least two translations of what I'm fairly sure is every surviving word she wrote, and she writes a lot about love and marriage, but that's mostly explicitly heterosexual. The only poem I'm seeing lesbian themes in is the Hymn to Aphrodite. Which, well over half the translations I've seen of it use male pronouns instead of female for Sappho's not-lover. So why do we hear all this about Sappho being lesbian? Did her non-surviving works include lots of lesbian themes, or are my femslash goggles simply inoperative today?

[truth is life]

Inheritance Trilogy

See, you say this and I instantly think of Paolini. That...is definitely a different place than what you're talking about (which sounds very interesting, if I ever manage to work through my massive existing backlog!)

@Amaryllis: Thanks! Hopefully it will be cleared up soon. The really confusing thing is that it lists my booking in a different section (specifically about housing, rather than the bill-paying and some other stuff bit that I was looking at earlier) just fine. It even says who my suitemate is going to be. That's why it's so confusing: I know that I have the housing, but it won't let me pay my bills. I am in the fortunate situation where it wouldn't be a problem to pre-pay many months of rent, so the only thing holding me back is them...

You'd at least hope that different bits of their computer systems would be talking to each other. I've been here way too long to actually believe that, but it would be nice.

[Lonespark]

You'd at least hope that different bits of their computer systems would be talking to each other. I've been here way too long to actually believe that, but it would be nice.

...yeah.
World continues to be stupid, annoying, news at 11...

Sorry they are messing with you.

[Steve Morrison]

@MercuryBlue: Because of a nineteenth-century hoaxer named Pierre Louÿs. References: http://www.sacred-texts.com/cla/sob/index.htm and http://www.sacred-texts.com/cla/sappho/saphintr.htm

[MercuryBlue]

Steve: Educated now, thank you.

[Lonespark]

Me too. Thanks, Steve. I knew some of that, but not the whole story.

[MercuryBlue]

'Course now I have the problem of, who am I supposed to be quoting? Because I want to be quoting somebody, and my keywords are 'ancient Greek' and 'lesbian', and guess who comes up on all the DuckDuckGo searches for same? I could make things up and say it's a quote, I suppose, but as I am not actually an ancient Greek lyric poet, I'm sure to fail miserably.

[hapax]

truth is life: You'd at least hope that different bits of their computer systems would be talking to each other.

In my experience with university systems in three different states, the legislature just loves to force the schools to put the system out to bid, accept the cheapest offer, and end up with a nepotistic incompetent who wastes enormous amounts of time and money as the IT employees try to force the thing to work as advertised, until they finally give up many years down the line and beg the state for a new system.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

[hapax]

@MercuryBlue -- I am hardly an expert, but I'm pretty sure that there are no surviving examples of classical poetry celebrating romantic love between women.

Of course, women's voices, period, are notably absent from the literary record. And there's precious little Greek or Hellenistic poetry that celebrates an *equal* romantic relationship between men.

There's a reason that the lovely declaration of Ruth to Naomi ("Whither thou goest", etc.) tends to be a staple of lesbian classical allusions; it's one of the few out there. But the interpretation is ambiguous, to say the least.

I am told (don't have the Sanskrit or even a decent familiarity with the English translations) that some of the Vedic hymns to goddesses by female poets (rishis) have a distinctly homoerotic flavor. If anyone knows more, that might give you some terms to search with.

I am POSITIVE that in this community, someone (lots of someones) surely knows more about this than I!

[MercuryBlue]

I'm pretty sure that there are no surviving examples of classical poetry celebrating romantic love between women.

'Course not. *sigh*

Vedic might work for Claire, she's been reading on everything, but for Emma it does rather have to be Greek, because reasons.

[Froborr]

That means I can have you something by Monday.

Or, you know, I could spend Monday dealing with a one-two punch of my own physical health issues and a loved one getting worryingly depressed over body image issues.

Sorry. I will still try to get it done this week.

[MercuryBlue]

Sympathies, Froborr.

[Mmy]

@Froborr: Sympathies -- let us know if there is any way in which we can support you and never, ever feel sorry about putting your own needs (and those of a loved one) first.

[Froborr]

Thanks. Health issues happily have mostly gone away... still really worried about the other thing though. There is nothing I can do at the moment, but it makes focusing on the writing hard.

[Laiima]

@hapax, that was exactly my experience dealing with both an academic environment, and a state gov't agency. Expensive boondoggles that waste everyone's time, energy, and patience, for years on end, until they finally give up, and start the process all over again. :(

[storiteller]

I'm submitting a post on my journey of faith asap. I'm just not comfortable with sending out anything on midnight and want one more chance to read over it tomorrow.