Peace We Can Give Unto Others

My first article was going to be a rather ranterrific piece about the clueless insensitivity of some ethnically privileged people, but given some of the flames that have erupted here lately, and my own reopening of certain childhood wounds, I thought it might be nice to post something featuring kewt, fluffeh kittehs and bunnehs and yewnicornses wif sparkully liets in their hornses …

Okay, not quite:

As I was riding the L one evening, a woman seated near where I was standing looked up and smiled at me. I returned her smile without really thinking much about it. A few minutes later, when I happened to glance her way, we exchanged smiles again. Her second smile was noticeably longer than the first, but what I really noticed was the way she looked at me. If “maternal” is too strong an adjective, then let’s say it was the sort of look an affectionate aunt might give a young nephew.

As the train approached its next stop, the woman came over to the doors by which I had been standing, and again gave me that “affectionate aunt” smile. Then she held up her hands in a gesture consisting of her fingertips touching, forming a sort of “O” shape with her hands, and in something less than a whisper said, “Peace.” Well, I tend to be a “when in Rome” kind of guy even if “Rome” is some stranger on a train, so I repeated her gesture and said, “Peace” to her. She then indicated through a series of gestures and lip movements that she was mute. (She didn’t use any formal sign language and I don’t understand any, but it was quite clear what she meant.) Then, as I began to wonder whether her actions were a prelude to begging for money, she held out her hand as if inviting me to shake hands. When I proffered my hand, she clasped it in both of hers, then silently mouthed out, “Bless you. Peace.” Just then train stopped, the doors opened, and with a squeeze of my hand and another warm smile, Peace Lady, as I have referred to her ever since, got off at that station.

Something I have never been able to explain happened to me then. As I have told friends since, it was as if Peace Lady had somehow put some sort of feel-good spell on me. For some reason, I suddenly felt really good – and I mean REALLY good! – about the world and the people in it. I found myself looking at the people on the train and thinking, “There is so much good in these people! Yes, yes, people can totally suck sometimes, but there is so much good in them!”

A couple of stations later, I got off the L and walked a few blocks to a bar where some musician friends of mine were playing that evening. Along the way, I kept looking at people on the street and thinking, “There is so much good in these people! There has to be!” When I arrived at my destination, my friend Diane, a member of the band that was playing there, ran up to me and gave me a hug. She then held my shoulders, looked into my eyes very intently and said, “Wow! You look…I don't know, you just look so…happy! It’s like your face is glowing or something!” I told her it was hard to explain, but that we would talk about it later.

I have often said that I am as much of a Humanity Fanboy as The Doctor is. By and large, I have always considered our species, for all its faults, to be very promising (and "quite my favorite species"). What I felt that evening, though, was a wild, giddy, euphoric optimism about This Wonderful Thing Called Humanity of which I was so fortunate to be a part! Somehow, this thought process was sparked by three words, an affectionate smile, and a hand clasp from a woman I had just met on the L.

By the next day, the euphoria had worn off, as, I suppose, I knew it would. Strangely enough, for someone who has often been accused (usually in a tone of exasperation) of overanalyzing everything, it was only then, not on the day of my encounter with Peace Lady, that I really started to wonder just who Peace Lady was, why she had chosen to bestow her cryptic benediction on me of all people, and why her actions had affected me the way they had. Yet my state of euphoric optimism had not stopped me from thinking; I was, in fact, doing a lot of thinking that evening, but it was all about how much hidden, unexpected good there can be in people. It was all I wanted to think about that evening.

After a few days of puzzling over the who and why of my experience, my thoughts turned in a different direction. It occurred to me that it would be a shame to let this beautiful and unique experience be nothing more than an interesting story about some mysterious woman who had somehow induced visceral warm fuzzies in me for a few hours. I felt that I ought to do something that would somehow perpetuate the good she had done, but not by duplicating her actions. Going up to strangers and wishing peace upon them is…not quite my thing (o hai Mr. Construcshun Wurkurr …). Eventually, it came to me: whenever I had the opportunity and was comfortable in doing so, I would let others know of the good I saw in them, paying particular attention to people who might be unaware of their own good. I think this approach had a powerful appeal to me because I know all too well how it feels to be told, day after day, year after year, that one is an utter disappointment who will never amount to anything. This new mission – if that’s the right word for it – seemed like a way not just to create a lasting legacy to Peace Lady, but also to work against the negative influences that have caused so much damage to me for so long.

I am pleased to report that every so often, I manage to get over my own self-absorption long enough to act upon my high-minded resolve. I would like to tell you of one such occasion (which I think I can do without getting anyone trampled under a herd of teal deer).

While standing in line at a grocery store, I noticed the cashier cheerfully talking to the three people at the head of the line in a manner that gave me the impression that these were close friends of hers. I soon noticed, though, that she seemed to have the same easygoing rapport with every customer. Sure enough, when my turn came, this cashier and I were talking, joking, and TMI-ing like old friends. After my third encounter with this very pleasant cashier (a huge understatement), I was in my car, about to pull out of the store parking lot, when a Peace Lady moment hit me. I got out of my car, went back into the store, walked up to the service desk, and said that I wanted to let management know about the exceptional performance of an employee. Dude handed me a postcard-sized form that asked for my contact information and contained a “Comments” section. I don’t remember the exact wording of the comment I squeezed into that small space, but it went something like this:

“Lori is a very friendly person who has a gift for making her customers feel warmly welcome. It’s always a pleasure to go through Lori’s line because she always brightens up my day.”

I meant to follow up to see whether Lori had been commended by management due to my feedback, but I never got around to it. Then about a month later, Lori sent me an e-mail saying that her boss, Larry, had posted my commendation on the bulletin board and brought it to the attention of the staff. She went on to say, “Thank you for telling Larry that I was always friendly to you and brightened your day. It brightened my day to read that. I don't always get compliments for doing my job and being kind to people so it is terrific to hear that someone appreciates me for doing that. I read on the card that you have only been in my line a few times so it is nice you would take the time to fill out a compliment card. I also recently noticed the email address on the bottom of the card when I looked at the bulletin board again. I just figured you wouldn't mind an email. I thought saying thanks would be a nice way to start the new year.”

It was indeed a nice way – a VERY nice way – to start to my new year, as was the ensuing friendship that developed. Yes, Lori and I are friends now. That is an unexpected gain beyond measure, because nothing is more important to me than friendship. For this friendship, I am indebted to a woman with whom I had once briefly interacted, whose name I don’t even know.

Thank you, Peace Lady. I wish I could tell you what a wonderful person you are and what a great influence you are on me.

And to all of you:

*makes Peace Lady’s two-handed “peace” gesture*

Peace.

-- Raj ____________________________________________________________________________

 

The Slacktiverse is a community blog. Content reflects the individual opinions of the contributors. We welcome disagreement in the comment threads, and invite anyone who wishes to present an alternative interpretation of a situation to write and submit a post.

Comments

[Jason]

I did that for my mail carrier. If I'm outside she stops to talk to me and by "outside" I don't even have to be at home. I can be walking through the neighborhood on a Saturday afternoon and she will stop her mail truck to talk to me. When I don't have any mail in my mailbox, she doesn't just leave the box empty. She leaves a note that says "No mail today. Just love."

I thought that was worthy of a call to the USPS.

[Froborr]

@Raj: Those are both great stories!

I once sent an e-mail to the webmaster for the local transit authority to let them know how much I use and appreciate their excellent trip planning website, which not only includes their own buses and trains but all the various independent bus systems the suburban counties operate. They wrote me back saying how much they appreciated the thought and that they posted up my comment for everyone on the web team to see. It felt good, I should do that kind of thing more often!

On a side note, I hate you forever for that teal deer link. Another link took me to the elemental cats, a link from one of those took me to the B5 bears, and at that point I realized I needed to stop or I would never finish reading your post!

[Mmy]

I once 'hit the wrong' button and accidentally erased an enormous amount of data. I knew how to fix the problem and I also knew that it would take quite a while for me to do so. I emailed the relevant IT department to ask if anyone there knew of a faster/easier way of doing the same thing and had a wonderful cyber conversation with someone who bothered to look up the service record of my account and note that in over 15 years I had never before reported a problem or asked for help.

Not only did he do all the work of restoring the data for me he waived the normal charges for doing so.

I emailed his supervisor to let them know what great customer support I had received and praised the tech by name. Got a really nice email in return thanking me and letting me know that the (rare) occasions when someone thanked them not only counted as a credit (promotion, bonus) for the individual praised but made the day for everyone in the department.

[walden]

Jason - careful with the way you phrase your praise. I think there is some regulation against letter carriers leaving anything but mail in a customer letterbox. But otherwise great idea.

[Spearment (who aten't dead, surprisingly)]

In the spirit of this, can I give a shoutout to our Mods and to the whole community for making a thoughtful and compassionate transition to our new modus operandi? I would have expected nothing less from us, but it's still nice to find.

It's as if I came back to my old house after two months' absence to find that my family had moved, but all the furniture had been tastefully arranged in the new one. I'm not nearly caught up with all the posts (metaphorically speaking, I suppose I haven't figured where the silverware drawer is), but it looks like I'll have some engaging reading. From what I've seen of the new place I'll probably stick to commenting here, not there, although I'll continue to read Fred's posts, so I'm glad we have this setup.

{{everyone}}

[Jason]

@walden-

Well, I did this like 6 months to a year ago and apparently my praise was ok, because I got another note in the mailbox thanking me for the kind words, along with my mail that afternoon.

[Raj]

@Jason: Aww!

@Froborr: You're welcome on both counts :) WRT the teal deer link, it could be a lot worse; at least it's not a link to The Internet's Greatest Time-Sucking Black Hole (I'm sure you know which site I mean). When Kit suggested the link, I wasn't really sure it was necessary, but Kit, in that ever-so-charming way she has ever-so-charmingly cracked that mod whip - I'm kidding, I'm kidding! She was, in fact, very nice and polite about it, and presented it as a suggestion, not an order. (In fact, I have only good things to say about my pre-publication discussions with TBAT.)

[Jason]

Also wb, Spearmint and ditto on what she said. (-:

[Raj]

And speaking of TBAT, I suppose it would be in the spirit of my resolve to say:

hapax, Kit, and MMy, the three of you are doing a Herculean job, and often a thankless one. I want you to know that this Slacktivite really appreciates what you are doing.

[Froborr]

@Spearmint: WB and ditto, like Jason said!

@Raj: I know what site you mean, but I have to say, if not for the fact that it's blocked at work, Cracked would be an even *worse* time-suck for me.

[Sixwing]

Raj, here is a teal deer just for you. That was a lovely story - they both are - so thank you.

I've observed in both retail and travel that one angry customer can set a whole line to grumbling, and one happy, relaxed customer in line who is willing to show it can set the whole line to patiently, cheerfully doing their thing. One happy customer who smiles at an employee can make a day go from awful to really pretty cool. One "thank you" is a small thing, but.. we've discussed a lot here recently about snowflakes becoming blizzards.

I put a lot of effort into being that person.

[hidden_urchin]

That was a great post and it renewed my faith in humanity for the day. :)

[Colleen]

You know, I keep saying I'm going to do this and then never do ...

I waited tables for a number of years, and worked in retail in a very small mall. It's always been my intention to go shopping on Black Friday (*shudder*) and present every cashier, server, or other service worker with, like, a daisy or something. Something that is not a "gift" so they don't have to not accept it, just something to make them smile. Because I've been there. Anything helps.

[Izzy]

Welcome back, Spearmint, and good sentiment! I agree entirely.

Also: yes. I'm so very glad to be out of customer service, and I absolutely agree that one really nice customer can turn your day around. Little acts of civility really do go a long way.

[Thalia]

Thanks, Raj. My standing up wasn't going well, and this is just what I needed. Namaste.

[Raj]

Thanks for the teal deer, Sixwing! I've never seen a winged one before.

------------------------------------

Colleen, your idea sounds beautiful, and, as you've pointed out, it's low-pressure.

------------------------------------

{{{{{{{{{Thalia}}}}}}}}}

Namaste. (I am honored!)

[Sixwing]

(It's actually a Peryton from the Magistream sprite-collecting game, sprited by Umbreonage. /nerd) But you totally deserve your own teal internet.

Colleen, I love that idea.

[renniejoy]

{{{{{Raj}}}}}

[Raj]

(((((renniejoy}}}}}

YYYESSS!!! Comments are coming in again! (First Article jitters - I'm afraid of my article getting buried.)

[Mmy]

@Raj: I think yours is the type of article that makes people sit down and seriously (and yet joyfully) think about things. I suspect that in the weeks to come many 'small' acts of kindness and thoughtfulnes will be done by people who read this piece.

[Timothy (TRiG)]

Raj, that was lovely.

TRiG.

[biology guy]

Bravo! I must confess that missing the irony in the first paragraph very nearly caused me to miss reading the rest of your story. Just goes to show.

[renniejoy]

Honestly, very small acts of intended kindness is why I send internet hugs in the first place. (And in person, too) :)

I discovered that hugging is a thing I can do, that I like to do, and that is sometimes genuinely helpful to others. It can help dissipate excess energy. It probably won't change the world anytime soon, but I really would "like to give the world a hug."

I drink Diet Coke (or store brand equivalents) though, so I won't be in commercials anytime soon, either. :)

[Raj]

I should point out that Lori is far from being the first customer service type for whom I have put in a commendation. That occasion, though, was definitely one in which my actions were influenced by the resolution I made in the wake of my encounter with Peace Lady. I had quite a bit to do and a lot on my mind at the time, and I was actually about to drive away from the store when I had the idea of putting in a good word for Lori. Had it not been for Peace Lady's influence, I might have decided - probably with Passionate Sincerity (TM) - that commending Lori would be something I would get to later; and we all know how that sometimes goes (and I don't go to that store very often).

[Raj]

renniejoy, did you see my last post on your blog?

--------------------------------------------------

Mmy: I think yours is the type of article that makes people sit down and seriously (and yet joyfully) think about things. I suspect that in the weeks to come many 'small' acts of kindness and thoughtfulnes will be done by people who read this piece

Wow. That's...quite a thought.

[renniejoy]

Gak, I have been neglecting it for a while... checking it now!

[renniejoy]

Raj - sent!

[Karen, who needs to write a new blog post]

(((((((Raj)))))) That was a great story and a great article. You did a good thing that day.

My version of this is to give homeless people socks. I keep several packages of tube socks in my car and when I see a homeless person at an intersection I give that person a pair of socks. I know it's not going to solve any problems, but at least for a while, the recipients have clean socks.

[Nenya]

As Pip from Hobotopia would say:

I really like this story, Raj. It is pretty awesome to have moments like that of seeing the good in people. Also, compliments and happy thoughts are really wonderful to have--especially as a service worker, but really for anybody. I've taken to finding ways to compliment people when I notice something good about them--you look great tonight, ma'am; that sign in your window is so artistic! thank you, dear ladies at the info table, for the good work your organization does, etc. I think Mmy's right that it will probably get a lot of us thinking about that sort of thing in the near future as well.

One time like that really sticks in my memory. Back in January, I was in the process of moving house after having broken up with a lover I was sharing an apartment with. So, not really Happy Tiems for me. When I went to cancel my Internet service, there was a miscommunication and they shut it off *the next day* instead of *at the end of the month.* Internet-dependent as I am, I freaked out, and called them. It took them several calls to sort it out, but the thing I noticed was that the company's telephone customer service was *fantastic.* Now, I am about 75% deaf, so customer service over the telephone is pretty fraught for me most of the time. (I.e., I hate it passionately.) But these guys, not only did you get put through to a human after only about three minutes on hold, but the sound was CLEAR! and loud enough!! and I could understand them! They were also as helpful as they could possibly be, in trying to fix their errors, but I honestly felt so delighted by *being able to understand them* that I hardly minded that they'd fucked up in the first place. So I made sure to let them know how much it helped, every time I called. I hope they passed that on to whoever was responsible for the phone system--or at least that it made the people I was on the line with feel better that day.

*hugs Raj, whose rants I'll certainly read as well*

[Asha]

I remember a really good day working at a job I hated- I was in a good mood and smiled hugely at a walker in a mall, and the next day he came back and told me that I had made his entire day better.

That was the kind of thing that made me keep working even though I did hate the job. (Found a better one. Thank goodness)

But yeah, passing along good feelings really does help the world be better. Hugs, a smile, a kind word.

And, yes, I will pass on my appreciation for this place. I've learned a lot since I started lurking here a few years ago. I don't really contribute intellectually but thank you for the safeness, the thoughtfulness and the many different viewpoints. It helps to come to a place where people can discuss things calmly.

[Dash]

Raj,

I knew you were clever. I knew you were witty. I knew you could always find exactly the right Monty Python quotation for any occasion. I did not know you could write such a wonderful, inspiring post. Thank you for this: it made my day better! (And, based on the comments, I'm not the only one.) I suspect I shall be a somewhat nicer person for the next few days, at least.

[Andrew Glasgow]

Very inspiring!

[Amaryllis]

That's lovely, Raj.

And just what I needed, after a week of depressing news and a revolting cold in the head. Cheered me right up.

I would let others know of the good I saw in them
Just to let you know, I still remember a time or two when you've done that for me.

[Rachel McG]

Thank you, Raj, for your lovely post. It really hit me where it count. I know I need to lighten up about humanity sometimes, and this could be a good way to start -- pointing out to people's managers that their employees are cool, you know, when they've been cool.

[Raj]

{{{{{Karen}}}}}
{{{{{Nenya}}}}}
{{{{{Dash}}}}}
{{{{{Andrew}}}}}
{{{{{Amaryllis}}}}}
{{{{{Asha}}}}}
{{{{{Rachel}}}}}
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{{{{{Mmy}}}}}

[sarah]

Thanks, Raj. That's kinda what I needed to start my day. :)

[Hyp]

Thank you for a good and thoughtful article, Raj. It certainly brightened my day!

[Jessica]

*deity expletive* A girl is gone for a year and Fred is, well, wherever Fred is, and instead of Flame War Thursdays, I come back to "I love this thread", and more internet hugs than I think I've ever seen anywhere. I feel like I'm in an alternate slacktiverse. Just WTF is going on here? ;-) LOLOLOLOL

Seriously, though, @Raj-- that's a truly wonderful post you've written and I'm glad that you took what Peace Lady gave you and turned it around for something that has had a tangible benefit in your own life and that of others. That was absolutely beautiful.

Also, seconding what mmy said-- bringing peoples' attention to the small things that can brighten others' lives usually results in people being just a little bit nicer. Colleen mentioning Black Friday is a perfect example-- I can't imagine a worse day to be working retail, nor a time when a little bit of kindness would go an extra long way.

I'd be remiss if I didn't say how full of *squeeeeeee* I am for you writing a slacktist/slacktiverse/whatever-we're-calling-it-now post. You rock and I'm glad that I get to call you a friend.

[Harvey]

As a physician for over forty years and having dealt with patients and families facing inevitably terminal prognoses, I can attest to the value and reality of a few kind and understanding words to people's emotional well-being. For the physician or other health care personnel involved in these situations it is often time consuming and unpleasant to have to deal with these unfortunate people. Nevertheless, I can tell you unequivocally that I have come to look forward to these situations for very selfish reasons. When I have been able to lighten the emotional load or, at least, helped the patient to better ways of dealing with the realities of their misfortune, the rest of my day is always measurably better. Whether one believes that doing something nice or helpful to another is a moral precept to be followed for religious reasons or that there may be evolved or culturally acquired emotional benefits for doing so, it is clear that it benefits us directly to "cast our bread upon the waters".

[hapax]

Jessica!!!!!!

[squee]

[MercuryBlue]

JESSICAAAA! *tacklehugs* *y'know, if desired*

[Sixwing]

\o/

Jessica, it's so good to see you!

[Jessica]

*waves awkwardly*

Hi everybody!

[Mmy]

*waves back at Jessica*

[Raj]

< tackleglomp >{{{{{{{{{XXXJessicaXXX}}}}}}}}}< /tackleglomp >

[Jessica]

@Raj-- I love the enthusiasm, but have to ask-- what exactly is a tackleglomp? I feel like I'm going to need stain remover for my skirt. ;-)

[cyllan]

{{{JESSICA!}}}

It's a glomming tackle.

[Raj]

Jessica: what exactly is a tackleglomp? I feel like I'm going to need stain remover for my skirt

Well, like so many things in life, there are always messy ways of doing it. One of Humanity's great repositories of knowledge has a good def.

[Jessica]

LOLing. I think Urban Dictionary is blocked on my computer.

[Deird, who is new, but not that new]

*wants to say hi to Jessica*

*remembers that Jessica left while I was still lurking and has no idea who I am*

*is sad*

*decides, screw it, say hi anyway*

Hi Jessica!

[Literata]

{{Raj}} Thanks for this.

Hi Jessica! I don't think I know you either, but hi anyway!

[Laiima]

All my life I've struggled with deriving a great portion of my sense of self worth from being employed. I've had a ton of jobs, most of which I did not enjoy, but I felt simply working showed the world that I deserve to exist, since I was clearly contributing. So periods of unemployment have had devastating effects on my self confidence.

Last time I was living in the Chicago area, I had a job for the first three months (which I hated every second of), so I quit, and then I couldn't find another job, doing anything, for the remainder of the time we were there (well over a year).

One encounter I had during that time period remains a fond memory to this day. I was in a retail store, where I bought a pair of earrings. I got to chatting with the cashier, who asked what I did for a living, so I told her about GIS, which she'd never heard of (no surprise there), and that I had hopes of getting a job using GIS in an environmental context. She was so *interested* in hearing about GIS that I felt my confidence renewed and strengthened. I walked out of the store grinning.

Two years later, I was back living in Indiana, and I landed a job doing GIS for an environmental state agency. I think the kindness of that saleswoman helped me stay on track with my dream.

[Lonespark]

Welcome back Jessica!!!

[Laiima]

Hi Jessica, it's lovely to "see" you again.

[Jessica]

@Deird-- actually, unless there was another person posting with that handle, I've seen a few of your posts, though I don't know whether we actually *interacted* at all. ;-)

@Literata-- Hi back!

[Laiima]

I had a lengthy, somewhat emotionally wrenching comment, that seems to have been eaten by the hamsters. Drat.

Thank you, Raj, for reminding me of the many times the kindness of strangers has boosted my mood, and often restored my confidence in myself, just when I needed it most.

Sometimes just catching someone's infectious smile is enough to remind me of joy in being alive. Actually feeling truly seen is a rare gift, and you never know what a blessing it may have been to someone who really needed it.

[Raj]

Ooh, a second page! Yes! *fist pump (but not at all Rayford-like)* I'm starting to feel like a fer reelz Slackticle writer now! I was trying to come up with some suitably mushy sappy complimentary things to say about the people - including some great friends who have posted here, when I decided to refresh the page.

[Lila]

Raj!! You made Jessica reappear!!

*hugs you both*

[Raj]

{{{Lila}}}

To make Jessica reappear, I did a Fonzie-snap of my fingers and went, "AYYYY!"

[Choir of Shades]

*has no idea who Jessica is but gathers she is a very-long time Slacktivite who disappeared.*

Hello!

Anyways, this story reminded me of my aunt. When last she visited, she was trying to back pictures up off her blackberry onto an SD card. It used a rather obscure method, so I couldn't figure it out in the few minutes I was looking at it, so she called customer service and spent an hour or two on the phone to get it working. Afterwards, she asked out of the blue to speak with his supervisor. He apparently was rather worried by this, and my aunt said the supervisor sounded like he was bracing for a tirade (given that she works in management and supervising, I'll trust her on this one) and she told him how helpful and patient the tech support guy had been.

[Sue W]

This is why I like working at the store. I thought I would hate it. Before I started two years ago, I had almost no experience with customer service. Thought I would never hear anything but complaints. But every so often a customer will ask me to pass along a message to the manager complimenting someone (usually the photo specialist) for their great service. That always makes my day.

[Sue W]

Oh, and congratulations to Raj for your first piece of slacktivism!

[Raj]

Additions to Hug List (not in order of importance or anything like that):

{{{{{Sixwing}}}}}
{{{{{hidden urchin}}}}}
{{{{{Spearmint}}}}}
{{{{{Colleen}}}}}
{{{{{Izzy}}}}}
{{{{{sarah}}}}}
{{{{{Hyp}}}}}
{{{{{Literata}}}}}
{{{{{Laima}}}}}
{{{{{SueW}}}}}
{{{{{Jason}}}}}

[kisekileia]

Laiima, I really appreciate knowing that someone in a customer service job made such a difference in your life by listening to you and being interested in you. I just (today!) got my first job after finishing my B.A., which, like the jobs I worked during my degree, is in customer service. Customer service is not really something I ever envisioned myself doing after I completed my education. I wanted to be a university professor--then my grades tanked because of my ADHD. I wanted to work in social services--and then I learned the hard way that people with Asperger's syndrome don't tend to mesh well with social service types. I wanted a career with a purpose--one that would contribute something of value to the world. I'm happy to know that customer service people can contribute something of value to the world simply by listening and caring.

[Literata]

Woohoo, kisekileia has a job! Congrats!

Oh, and Raj, I totally know what you mean about getting a second page of comments - I was incredibly nervous about that with my Ostara piece.

[Lila]

W/R/T Dr. Who (it's totally on topic--Raj mentioned it in the original post--go look!), and the sad news of Elizabeth Sladen's death:

Break out the kleenex and give this a listen.

Also, congrats to kisekileia!!

[Amaryllis]

Hey, Jessica's back?! :D

Hello, Jessica, it's wonderful to see you again.

@kisekileia: congratulations on the new job. And customer service absolutely is an important field. I don't care how many automated applications get developed, nothing takes the place of human-to-human interaction with a competent and caring customer service person.

[Raj]

@Amaryllis: < Russian accented male voice > This eez Peggy, how can I help you? < /Russian accented male voice >

[Jason]

Jessica had to wait until I had time off from work and am not at the computer all the time like normal, to come back.

[Addie]

Raj, FANTASTIC JOB on your article! I REALLY enjoyed reading it and am looking forward to reading more of your articles. I'm so proud of you!!! Lots of love ~ Addie

[Raj]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ADDIE!!!}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Hey, everyone! Addie has been my best friend for several years. Well, "best friend" doesn't begin to do her justice. She is best friend/wise teacher/person who believes in me when I can't seem to believe in myself/comrade-in-arms/partner in crime/friend who has taken care of me when I've had too many/person with whom to have deeply philosophical discussions and Seinfeldian conversations about nothing (often simultaneously)/counselor on matters of the heart/fashion consultant and a squillion other things that would break the comment field if I were to list them all.

Addie, in accordance with Slactradition I welcome you to The Slacktiverse, please don't kill us with sheep, and honor the booby for it is our sacred bird.

[Lonespark]

This is a beautiful peace of writing and sharing and a really nice suggestion about how to make a difference to some starfish.

I read it right when you posted it but then I felt like I couldn't come up with anything meaningful to say. And I still feel like that, kind of, having a depressed and overwhelmed week, but I want you to know I did read it and it means a lot. You're one of my favorite people on the internet and now I can point to this as a good exhibit for why.

[Raj]

{{{{{{Lonespark}}}}}

And this: You're one of my favorite people on the internet

Srsly? I'm...very touched and honored. See, I've admired you for a long time.

Oh yes, starfish; and earthworms. I'm surprised the connection hadn't occurred to me.

[Nenya]

Jessica's back! Squeh! :D Raj, you miracle-worker, you.

[Kit Whitfield]

Ooh, hi Jessica! How are you?

I love this article; makes me feel all warm and fuzzy about being nice to people. Very good influence. :-)

With that in mind: peace, everyone. And look, a puppy! http://hdwallpapersfull.com/wallpapers/cute-puppy-dog-1280x800.jpg

[kisekileia]

Thanks for the congratulations, everyone! The job is part-time, so I won't be completely self-sufficient, but the pay is good enough to help things a LOT, and it's something I should be reasonably good at.

[Brin (not Meir)]

What kind of puppy is that? It looks like a Westie with floppy ears.
Reminds me of my family's dog. He's a middle-aged seven now, but there's a picture of him as a puppy (with ears sticking straight up) on my brother's bedroom door.

I'm sure I've seen Jessica before, but I don't think I've been lurking that long. Maybe it was when I was reading an archive.
In any case, *waves*.

[sarah]

Aww, puppy!

@Jessica: we're friends on FB, but I don't know how long I was posting before you left. In any case, welcome back! :)

[Raj]

{{{{{{{{{Kit}}}}}}}}

Thank you, and thanks also for all your kind and encouraging words after I submitted my article. xx

[Raj]

Many of you are wondering who this Jessica is. Jessica is a woman of incredible beauty, inside and out, as well as insightfulness, humor, and warmth. I am lucky to have her for a friend and to have shared many beautiful and interesting experiences (online) with such a remarkable person. She is the second Slacktivite I befriended, which also makes her the second friend I made online (prior to my entry into Slacktispace, I had almost never interacted with people online in a purely social setting). She has been absent for reasons that it is not my place to divulge, but which, rest assured, have nothing to do with how she feels about this community that was enriched by her presence for a long time.

[Jessica]

@Raj-- How did you know the Fonz got me all...? Well, you know. You're quite the miracle worker indeed. ;-) And thank you for the very lovely introduction.

@Sarah-- Your FB updates are always blowing up my feed. Okay not really, but still, they're fun to read.

@kisekileia-- congrats on the job! Part time is better than nothing.

@everyone else (including Kit)-- no major complaints, I guess. I'd say same old, same old, but well, that's never the case with me. Let's see.... I moved across the country (I live in Maryland now and I bloody hate it, but I really like my job), my hair is a mixture of red and magenta, I've gotten five more piercings, another tattoo, I have a consultation on May the 3rd with a surgeon for SRS sometime in the next 10-ish months and I stopped going to church. I'm sure there's more, but not all of it's appropriate for public consumption. In other words, I'm feeling pretty damn fantastic. ;-) And I've missed everyone here very much. I don't know how much time I'll really be able to spend here, what with busy at work and all, but I'll try to poke in from time to time (I'd make a "that's what he said" joke right now, but, well....)

[MercuryBlue]

Glad you're doing good, Jessica.

[Laiima]

Congratulations, kisekileia! when I am off-line, the people I have the most face-to-face contact with these days are usually customer service people. So their infectious moods -- good or bad or anything else -- have a huge impact on my frame of mind. Absolutely be aware that when you feel a real connection to someone, even if it's very brief, they may be talking about you and that one encounter for years to come.

Pretty much all of my jobs have involved some level of customer service, and there are many customers that I remember with great fondness, mostly because in that moment, I knew I proffered tangible help that they needed, even if all I could do was be concerned about them and their problem. When I *could* go the extra mile, it was amazingly satisfying.

[Laiima]

@Jessica, if you don't mind saying, what part of Maryland are you living in? I'm in northern Baltimore County, and Amaryllis is in Anne Arundel county. Literata is in Northern Virginia. Spearmint, iirc, is somewhere near Philadelphia. There are probably mid-Atlantic region Slacktivites that I'm forgetting.

My point is, if you're hating Maryland because you don't know anybody, there are people here you know. We could try a meetup sometime.

[Addie]

Raj, Thank U so much! I'm speechless. You really do have a way with words & were born to be a writer. I think you are one of the most wonderful guys I know. By the way, I just realized that we've known each other 20 years now. So hard to believe.
Sorry, I'm not sure that I could "honor the booby" or ever "kill you with sheep". :)
Also, I'm coming in Friday, May 6th. Make sure u get a haircut (u forgot to add Mom to that list too).

[Jessica]

Laiima--
I'm in Montgomery County-- not terribly far from anyone you've mentioned, and I'm always up for slacktivite meetups. Let me know if you ever want to get together. My schedule fills up rather quickly these days, so I need to plan a bit in advance, but we can certainly make something happen.

Oh, but the main reason I hate it here so much is the weather-- I'd much prefer my sunny southern California, 15 minutes from the Pacific, rapidly approaching beach weather when instead, it's been pouring cats and dogs (and hailing!) all day today. FML. ;-)

[Laiima]

@Jessica, it's true it rains here a lot in the spring (and sometimes in the summer, especially during hurricane season), but starting in May and going through October and sometimes into November, it's hot and sunny and humid here.

I have sort of the opposite problem with Maryland weather. I'm from Chicago, where there are four distinct seasons of approximately equal length. Here, summer seems to last half the year, so for me, it's too hot for too long. (Was it 85 in Montgomery County earlier this week like it was here? That's just Wrong for April.) And the older I get, the less well I tolerate intensely sunny days (they bring on migraines, so I have to stay inside a lot).

[Deird, who isn't awake yet]

Oh, you guys with your living nearby, and meetups...

*is jealous*

The best I could do would be a meetup of Sgt Pepper's and me by ourselves - and even then, one of us would probably have to fly...

[sarah]

@Jessica: Heh, I'm glad you're enjoying my facebook updates. :)

@Laiima: I'm in Philly, as well.

It was 80 degrees a couple of days ago. My housemate grilled fish and we sat on the porch. It was glorious. Today it's 50.

[Raj]

RL Slacktimeetups rule! Some of you might have read elsethread about my February meetup with Nicole LeBoeuf-Little in Chicago.

Laima, you're someone I've wanted to MIRL for a long time. I'm sure we will soon, and geek out over geography, culture, nature, etc. Hey, I have two great reasons for visiting MD!

---------------------------------------------

Belated congratulations to kisekileia!

[Raj]

Hey peeps, I'm going back on topic in a very unexpected way:

Lori, the store cashier who is now my friend thanks to Peace Lady, just sent me an Easter e-card!

Speaking of being on-topic: Lila, Doctor Who is always on-topic, any time, any thread. It is an honor to have Doctor Who come up on my first thread.

[Lonespark]

If there were to be a Slacktivite meetup near the DC area, if I had lead time I would try to come. I could also visit my uncle and ex-girlfriend and stay with one of them.

[Laiima]

Thanks, Raj. (By the way, I'm now Laiima, with two i's, so I match my Patheos handle.)

[Laiima]

@Lonespark, I would totally love to meet you in person. Maybe this should really happen. I'm chortling on the inside because I've never planned a social event in my life. I don't have any idea where to start (planning). If anyone wants to jump in, please do so!

[Raj]

Laiima (I got it right), when Nicole and I were planning (via e-mail and text) our get-together, I told her, "WARNING: I suck at social planning", to which she replied, "OMG you and me both. No pressure."

[Zigforas, who comes late to the conversation]

@ Asha

And, yes, I will pass on my appreciation for this place. I've learned a lot since I started lurking here a few years ago. I don't really contribute intellectually but thank you for the safeness, the thoughtfulness and the many different viewpoints. It helps to come to a place where people can discuss things calmly.

Can I ditto what you said?

Also, thank you for the inspiring post!

[ShifterCat]

As a person who works retail, it makes me happy to know that not only is it appreciated when we're extra-nice to people, but that that can lead to concrete rewards as well.

And the teal deer -- SO CUTE!

[kisekileia]

Thanks, Raj!

[Ruby]

Hey, y'all, remember like, two years ago, when we discussed a big meet-up at the Creation Museum in Kentucky? Anybody still wanna do that?? :D

[Jessica]

Well, I'm definitely closer to Kentucky than I ever cared to be. ;-)

@Laiima and Lonespark: DC area it is. I can find us a nice restaurant or something, if no one has suggestions. I'd offer my house, but lately, that's had the tendency to turn into threesomes, so probably not so much on that score (seriously, don't ask).

How about the weekend before memorial day? Or do we need more lead time than that?